TICO TALES
Pura Vida Perils: Surviving the Wacky Roads of Costa Rica
Costa Rica, a land of breathtaking beauty, abundant wildlife, and pura vida spirit, may seem like paradise on Earth. However, beneath its tropical allure lurk the unexpected and uproarious hazards of driving in this adventurous wonderland. Buckle up as we journey through the laughable quirks of navigating the roads of Costa Rica.
Roads Less Traveled, Potholes More Endearing
Costa Rica boasts some stunning off-the-beaten-path destinations, but in reality, getting there can be more adventurous than an Indiana Jones movie. Here, potholes are not mere road imperfections; they’re personality tests for your vehicle. It’s like participating in a rodeo, except you’re riding a four-wheeled bucking bronco! Brace yourself as you witness cars hopping and dancing to dodge potholes in a strange salsa of avoidance.
After the turn-off from the main highway, the riverside road to my house is rocks and dirt and flattened iguanas. Compared to some mountain roads, I’m happy that it’s mostly level, and in relatively “decent” condition, despite having passed through the dry season without repairs. But the current onset of heavy rains, which sometimes causes the river to wash over the road, removes the fine soil and leaves large rocks, lots of car-sized voids, and a great reason to walk the three kilometers to the pulperia for milk and beer.
Ladies, tighten your bra straps! It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
When Nature Decides to Join the Commute
In Costa Rica, a traffic thrombosis can be an opportunity to immerse in nature. Instead of honking, you’ll communicate with howler monkeys, toucans, and sloths hanging from nearby trees. Horns create a cacophony of confusion as drivers respond to the wildlife, and the jungle becomes a chaotic orchestra. It’s a wildlife safari right from your car, with frequent sightings of pedestrians and entire families skillfully balanced on bicycles.
Well, that’s what I wish it were. Instead, it’s a long, hot, quiet wait while a massive 18-wheeler attempts to make a left turn into a driveway too narrow for a Volkswagen Beetle. Or when the hillside above the highway gives way from too much rain and covers the road. Or when rivers rise and flood the roads. Or when a moto with two kids and a month’s-worth of supplies on the back doesn’t have the power to get up that hill at more than five kilometers per hour. Or when a sloth attempts to cross the road so. very. sloooooooooooooooooooowly.
Folks, always wear your silicon retainers to prevent your teeth from being ground down to nubs. Poco a poco, all the time, every day.
Survival of the Boldest: Mastering the Art of Lane Merging
Lane merging in Costa Rica is a survival of the fittest scenario, where “yielding” is interpreted as a friendly suggestion, as are the no-passing double yellow lines. Watch as drivers transform into Formula One racers, navigating with the finesse of tightrope walkers, while singing along to reggaetón hits. Turn signals are mere decorative ornaments, and assertiveness is the key to success. Merging isn’t about size; it’s about chutzpah, with taxi drivers fearlessly nosing into oncoming traffic, calculating the odds that the other driver will yield to avoid a fender-bender.
But lane merging has another meaning here, especially on city streets. Curbside “No Parking” signs are invisible to Tico drivers, and don’t seem to be enforced unless a Gringa tries to slip in for a quick millisecond stop for a head of lettuce.
What this means is that what would normally be two lanes is reduced to slightly wider than a single lane, yet two cars will still attempt to occupy the space, traveling in opposite directions while dodging motos and pedestrians who have no situational awareness whatsoever.
There’s a rhythm to it, one I found a bit challenging at first, but now my car and I enter the crowded street dance with abandon, knowing that all the other drivers are feeling the same beat; speeding up, slowing down, swerving and avoiding together, and all moving forward as if this were utterly normal. Which it is here in Costa Rica.
The Enigma of Turn Signals
Costa Rica is home to many mysteries, but one that baffles locals and tourists alike is the case of the elusive turn signals. They seem to be the country’s best-kept secret, rarely used and almost mythical in nature. Observing a turn signal in action is a cause for celebration; it’s like spotting a rare quetzal or a jaguar in the wild. So if you encounter one, cherish the moment, because you may not see it again anytime soon.
Truck drivers, however, do use them, in a manner I’d not experienced before moving here. Because the highways here are narrow, often quite steep, very curvy and winding, and often have sheer drop-offs on one side, being stuck behind a large, heavily-loaded semi going uphill can be a painful, first- and second-gear experience. The hilliness and curviness make it impossible to see oncoming traffic, and it’s a mortal risk to overtake one of these vehicles.
However, many truck drivers are alert and aware, and when they think it’s safe for you to pass them, they will turn on their left blinker to let you know.
Stomp on that accelerator, drivers! This could be your only chance!
Rainy Season Woes
Ah, the rainy season — when Costa Rica’s beauty intensifies, and driving becomes an aquatic adventure. Witness impromptu waterfalls cascading onto the roads, transforming highways into waterparks. In this season, every vehicle becomes a submarine, and windshield wipers dance like wagging dog tails.
Embrace the wetness! And remember, your car probably needs a refreshing shower, the road hasn’t yet collapsed into the ravine, there’s not yet a fallen tree across the road, and your car hasn’t broken down (yet). It’s your lucky day.
It’s challenging and fun, but don’t do anything stupid
Driving in Costa Rica might be a comedy of errors, but it’s also a testament to the nation’s resilient spirit and pura vida approach to life. Despite the hazards, there’s a unique charm to navigating these wacky roads.
So, if you ever find yourself behind the wheel in Costa Rica, remember to laugh, embrace the chaos, and channel your inner adventurer. After all, life is unpredictable, at best, and Costa Rica is here to remind us that sometimes it’s best to sit back, enjoy the ride, and say, “¡Pura Vida, vamanos!”
