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Abstract

eative essayists must get when pitching during the age of the novel coronavirus.8 Reasons Why Coronavirus is Just Like My Nan’s Secret Bread RecipeWhat Washing My Hands Taught Me About SisterhoodI Never Realized Just How Much I Wanted to Lick Strangers Until I Lost That PrivilegeWhat Happens if you Cough Around Your Sourdough Starter in 2020What it's Like to be Sexually Attracted to Famous Landmarks in the Era of COVID-19Raising Chapped Hands to the Sky and Letting Go of Worry101 Household Items to Touch Your Face With When You Can’t Use Your HandsHow Social Isolation Taught Me My Demon Cat is Just MisunderstoodMasturbation is Less Fun When There’s No Chance of Being Caught By Door-to-Door SolicitorsHow I Use Pandemic Rules to Teach my Kids to Appreciate the Rich History of Newtonian Phys

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icsViral Apocalypse Through a Goat’s Eyes — Why is Nobody Thinking of the Livestock?How Pandemic Depression Smells of Tinned BeansWhen Essential Oils Failed — A Journey Toward Disenchantment with False RemediesHow I Surrounded my Home With Crystals and Still Got a Throat Tickle AnywayI’m a Travel Writer Who Needed to Start Dropping Acid in My Apartment to Journey in 2020How I Coped With Pandemic Anxiety By Making Toilet Papier Mache GerbilsHow to Get Your Pitches Accepted if You Aren’t a Virus or a Killer AsteroidFollow Slackjaw on <a href="https://facebook.com/SlackjawHumor">Facebook,</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/SlackjawHumor">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/slackjaw_humor">Instagram</a>, and <a href="https://mailchi.mp/b2680924b6b9/86k8o3akou">get our best stories once a month by email</a>.</article></body>

Publishable Headlines For Freelancers During COVID-19

Any and all essays must somehow tie into the trending news cycle in a way that is FRESH and ORIGINAL.

Hello Freelancers,

As you can probably tell, the impact of COVID-19 on the news cycle is such that we need to ensure we are providing interesting yet timely content to compete. It’s with this in mind that we must inform you that any and all essays must somehow tie into the trending news cycle in a way that is FRESH and ORIGINAL. As you are most likely not doctors, when you speak of life through the lens of the coronavirus, you must do so in a way that is unique, factual, and yet wholly personal.

We have compiled a list of sample headlines to show just how creative essayists must get when pitching during the age of the novel coronavirus.

8 Reasons Why Coronavirus is Just Like My Nan’s Secret Bread Recipe

What Washing My Hands Taught Me About Sisterhood

I Never Realized Just How Much I Wanted to Lick Strangers Until I Lost That Privilege

What Happens if you Cough Around Your Sourdough Starter in 2020

What it's Like to be Sexually Attracted to Famous Landmarks in the Era of COVID-19

Raising Chapped Hands to the Sky and Letting Go of Worry

101 Household Items to Touch Your Face With When You Can’t Use Your Hands

How Social Isolation Taught Me My Demon Cat is Just Misunderstood

Masturbation is Less Fun When There’s No Chance of Being Caught By Door-to-Door Solicitors

How I Use Pandemic Rules to Teach my Kids to Appreciate the Rich History of Newtonian Physics

Viral Apocalypse Through a Goat’s Eyes — Why is Nobody Thinking of the Livestock?

How Pandemic Depression Smells of Tinned Beans

When Essential Oils Failed — A Journey Toward Disenchantment with False Remedies

How I Surrounded my Home With Crystals and Still Got a Throat Tickle Anyway

I’m a Travel Writer Who Needed to Start Dropping Acid in My Apartment to Journey in 2020

How I Coped With Pandemic Anxiety By Making Toilet Papier Mache Gerbils

How to Get Your Pitches Accepted if You Aren’t a Virus or a Killer Asteroid

Follow Slackjaw on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and get our best stories once a month by email.