Satire or maybe not
PTSD and Technology
My computer traumatized me
Been with Mac since 1986
I am not an early adapter.
I was the last American to get a VCR, just in time for their obsolescence. And yes, same for the shift from vinyl to cassette, cassette to CD, CD to iPod, iPod to streaming… I have yet to stream.
It is not that I am a Luddite or anti-technology, it is that setting up new devices is traumatizing.
Eight years ago, I experienced a complete digital meltdown. All devices crapped out and timed out at the same time. Age, vin numbers, passcodes, for clouds, for screens, for …OMG could you make it more complicated?
I take that back, I know you can!
This cable no longer works, that cable is the wrong cable, oh you don’t need a cable anymore. By the way, the plug is extra. By the way, your computer is too old, the modem can’t find it. I had to replace everything! Which drained the account and my patience.
This year at the end of May my smartphone-Android was dying. Of course, it was, I had only recently finished the installment payments. As my MacBook was beyond updating, at all of eight years of age, I decided to take the huge finical plunge once again and go iPhone/MacBook all at once with an external hard drive for backup. Surely a deal could be had for such a large purchase.
NOPE.
Shaking from the purchase, the clerk took pity and helped set up the phone. He was kind and empathic. I hate this phone — nothing is intuitive. You have to hold your finger forever and a day to get the dang flashlight to turn on. My old android was tap and move on. My learning curve is steep, so steep I haven’t been able to explore any features that might make this phone a wonderful experience.
I will admit, “Hey Seri…” is very helpful. I find myself saying please and thank you, fully expecting a “you’re welcome” back…alas she remains indifferent to my social correctness.
The new Macbook pro computer still sits in its wrappings, since May. I put it on the shelf and left it there. I knew from previous experience that setting up the new computer was going to cause trauma. I would have the wrong configuration of cables and plugs. I would need the ancient iPad (and feared it is so old that it wouldn’t receive the codes I would need) I would need passwords I couldn’t recall, forcing me to create new passwords, and then changing all the automatic passwords on all the other things that need passwords. I am certain there is an easier way — a more efficient way to handle all of this — but I’ll be damned if I know what it is.
So today, the day before school starts, the day of an important zoom celebration I decide I have to get this damn computer set up. I won’t have time after tomorrow and I want the background screens I can get with the new computer to hide the chaos that is my house.
I brace for the trauma, the frustration, the not knowing what I don’t know which always gets in the way! Decide against Bourbon in my coffee — too much to do yet to get ready for school.
Twenty minutes later it’s done! Transferred data and all. Seamless!
Only one glitch which was figured out easily. Because I have the iPhone there was no hunting down the ancient iPad that is only an alarm clock. Because I am a scofflaw and write down my passwords (in code of course) I can get the machines to do what they are supposed to do.
I was so thrilled with the ease of this set up I am willing to go buy that Smart TV I’ve delayed for two months now — the same PTSD of technology setups was stopping me. I’ll make sure it is Apple compatible.
I may even get another story to tell!