ESSAY | KNOW THYSELF HEAL THYSELF

Psychedelics

Expanding Consciousness, Creativity, and Interconnectedness

The first time I ever came into contact with a psychedelic was in the mid-80s. I was 18 or 19 at the time and had gone to a party with some friends. I’d drank way too much alcohol, so when one friend told me to close my eyes and open my mouth, my inhibitions were low and I did what he said. I felt a small tablet on my tongue that disintegrated quickly. When I opened my eyes, everyone was watching me and laughing. They knew I would drink with them and smoke cigarettes, but that I didn’t participate in “the bud” they freely shared among themselves. I didn’t feel anything immediately, so I didn’t know what the laughter was all about. Finally, the host of the party, the one who’d given me that little tablet, leaned over and whispered, “Just stay sitting there and let go.” Again, I did as he suggested.

We were all sitting around a campfire. Some friends were hooking up and others sat drumming or playing tambourines. It was laid back and casual. A few more minutes went by and then suddenly everything around me became bright and colorful. People’s faces became echoes, branching off behind them into infinity with all the colors of the rainbow spiraling around them. Their words were slurred, their actions performed in slow motion, and my own voice sounded foreign and so far away. Anything that popped into my imagination appeared before my eyes — butterflies, flowers, the ocean, ravens in flight — and they were all in such brilliant colors. I could hear myself saying, “Oh! preeeetty colorssssss.” My friends’ laughter sounded like thunder and for a moment, I even saw a flash of lightening and felt raindrops on my face.

About a decade later, I had the chance to join a friend and her daughter at a Cherokee retreat in North Carolina. My friend’s daughter was to go through a rite of passage ceremony. All the women, young and old, gathered into a tent to usher in this lovely girl’s journey from childhood to womanhood. It was one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’d ever attended.

Afterwards, I roamed outside of the tent and the Shaman spotted me and called me over to her. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “It is time for you to find your spirit guide.” I nodded in agreement and followed her back to her small tent. Inside, the air was filled with smoke from burning incense. A small fire had been lit in the center of the tent, surrounded by stones and a cast iron pot hung slightly above it. As I drew closer to where the Shaman pointed for me to sit, I could smell something strong and pungent coming from the pot. She took a ladle and poured a small amount of the brew into a cup and handed it to me. It was bitter and sweet. A very strange combination. After I’d drank it all, she told me stretch out on the pillows and close my eyes.

As I laid there, the Shaman spoke softly to me and after a while, her voice became distant. My body felt heavy at first, and then slowly I began to feel light and as though I were hovering above the tent. Before long, I was soaring through the air and could see through strange, new eyes. I was hunting prey. For a split second, I saw myself in a pool of water. I was a beautiful, majestic hawk. After a while, I settled upon a branch and looked down at my wings. They were no longer the color of hawk wings, but a brilliant bluish-black. I let out a long caw caw caw, which startled me at first until I realized that now I was a raven.

I don’t know how long I’d slept, but when I came to and told the Shaman all I’d seen, she told me that I was one of the few to be given two powerful spirit animals. She then named me Raven Hawk and taught me everything I needed to know about these two spirit animals. To this day, I remember her teachings and am guided by them, but I still have no idea what was in that brew that put me to sleep so quickly and gave me such vivid visions. I can only surmise that it was some form of a psychedelic.

Those were my only two experiences with psychedelics and since both were positive, I have become an advocate for their legalization. I strongly believe — then and now — that everyone should have a chance to expand their minds. I can easily see why acid, magic mushrooms, and other psychedelics have been used by artists, musicians and writers — that freeing of the mind and expanding one’s consciousness allows for creativity to naturally flow. I think they also allow the user to connect with the Divine, the Universe and Nature, and to realize that we are very much a part of all three.

I am not normally a proponent of conspiracies, but I honestly believe that the reasons psychedelics are stigmatized is because the “powers that be” do not want us to open our minds. It is a means of control to make psychedelics illegal to have and consume. Imagine a world where everyone has an expanded consciousness, where creativity flows unhindered and where we all realize that we are connected to our higher power, the universe, Mother Nature and all peoples of this planet — that would truly be paradise on Earth and definitely not how those who control all aspects of our lives would want us to behave.

In summary, although I am an advocate of the use of psychedelics, I also believe that one should use caution when consuming them. Stay safe and use them when someone is around to monitor you — a friend, a Shaman, or even a psychologist. Then, relax and allow what’s to happen manifest itself to you. You just may tap into something marvelous.

©2020 Lori Carlson. All Rights Reserved.

This piece came into existence from the weekly prompt — psychedelics — at Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

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Lori Carlson writes poetry, fiction, personal essays, creative non-fiction, and articles. She focuses on Spirituality, Life Lessons, Self-Awareness, Relationships, Mental Health, and LGBTQ+. She is the Owner/Editor of Promptly Written and Not For Bedtime Stories. You can find her older stories on her creative writing blog, Ravyne’s Nest and random ramblings on her personal blog, A Delicious Torment.