Primer for Young Gay Men

Summary

The article provides a list of essential films that serve as a cultural foundation for understanding gay history and social nuances, aimed at helping young gay individuals connect with the experiences and references of older generations.

Abstract

The piece, titled "Primer for Young Gay Men," is not a guide on sexual practices but rather a cultural exploration intended to bridge the gap between younger LGBTQ individuals and the experiences of the Boomer generation. It emphasizes the importance of certain films in shaping gay culture and personal identities. The author, who came out later in life, shares their journey of self-discovery through cinema, highlighting movies like "Shirley Valentine" and "Making Love" as pivotal in their own coming out process. The article suggests that by watching classics such as "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" and "All About Eve," as well as more overtly camp films like "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," younger gay people can gain insight into the shared language and references that bond older members of the gay community. The author also stresses the emotional impact of films like "Torch Song Trilogy," which offer a more serious look at the struggles and triumphs within gay life.

Opinions

The author believes that understanding key films is crucial for young gay individuals to fully engage with gay culture and conversation.
Classic movies with strong female leads, like those starring Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, are seen as essential viewing for their camp value and cultural significance.
The use of movie lines and references in everyday conversation among gay men is a common practice that signifies shared cultural knowledge.
The author suggests that watching these films can be both educational and emotionally enriching, providing laughter, tears, and a sense of community.
There is an underlying sentiment that these films are not just entertainment but serve as historical artifacts that document the evolution of gay culture and societal attitudes towards LGBTQ individuals.
The article conveys a personal opinion that these movies are timeless and should be revisited frequently, suggesting a deep affection for the stories and characters they contain.
The author invites dialogue and acknowledges that there may be other films worthy of inclusion in a "Gay Primer List," indicating an openness to expanding the cultural canon.

Primer for Young Gay Men

No this isn’t an article about sex. Gay or straight, we all find our way quite well without everyone putting in their opinions for or against, legislative or moral, good, bad, or indifferent. I have just a few pointers to help some of the younger guys (and perhaps girls) understand the nuances of gay culture from the viewpoint of Boomers. We are the generation that marched in protests, burned draft cards, Acted Up, and moved away from family to urban centers for protection, a chance to be as OUT as we could, and find our fellow gay community.

But some movies gave us common background, and our conversations with one another are peppered with classic lines from some GREAT movies, and if you don’t have them in your background and hip pocket you’ll be left behind quickly! Even now my husband and I use lines in these movies daily, and our friends look at us mystified, while we smile and laugh at our own understanding of almost any situation and why it is FUNNY.

I came out rather late for someone my age. I was almost 40. I had a lot of catching up to do! But, I had a mentor who steered me to the right movies to help educate me on the nuances of gay culture, and I now call these films my “Queen Classics”.

The movie that pushed me out of my false narrative in life and into facing my true self was the British wonderful movie, “Shirley Valentine”. I watched this movie and everything in my life changed. British actress Pauline Collins is wonderful in this role as the housewife hitting forty and wondering what life is all about, and this movie also introduced me to Joanna Lumley, better known as “Patsy” on “Absolutely Fabulous”.

Another movie that pushed me over the edge and “out of the closet door” was “Making Love”, the groundbreaking 1982 saga of a married man and his coming to reckoning with being a gay man. Harry Hamlin and Kate Jackson, and Michael Ontlen star in this almost first on-screen male actor’s kiss, and Harry Hamlin was advised this would “RUIN” his career! I can tell you I was shaken to the core watching this, as I was struggling at the time.

But I had a long way to go to really understand the quips, movie lines, and dialogue of my fellow gay men who were my age and who had been OUT and proud during those hard days.

My “mentor” was a savior in that regard, and said, “You have to start with Joan Crawford, and Bette Davis, for sure. Ease into your education by starting with “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”, “All About Eve”, “Harriet Craig”, and of course, “The Women”.” Great advice!” These movies are not CAMP to the uninitiated but are so over the top in acting, movie lines, and scenes they are repeat watches just about any time.

When you have mastered those you can move on to more CAMP movies like “Can’t Stop the Music”, “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”, and “Muriel’s Wedding.” In need of a more serious look at GAY culture and life at the time? You MUST watch “Torch Song Trilogy” with Anne Bancroft, Matthew Broderick, Harvey Fierstein, and Brian Kerwin. Arnold is a gay man working as a drag queen in New York, and alone in life. Anne Bancroft is the long-suffering Jewish mother, and Matthew and Brian are the conflicting love interest characters. (You’ll cry, and your heart will break, but you will emerge stronger.)

Ok, now for some fun. I know you are wondering where “Judy” is in all of this. Well, then you MUST watch “Meet me in St. Louis” several times until you know the songs, the lines, and the moves. You can and MUST see John Water’s masterpiece “Hairspray”, the original version, with DIVINE. You can layer on “Connie and Carla”, “Fried Green Tomatoes” and “Steel Magnolias” for enrichment, but you must, yes must, see them all. Finally, top your new knowledge and movie background off with the bizarre and totally fun “Rocky Horror Picture Show”, followed by “Mommy Dearest”. (A LIVE midnight showing of Rocky is best, but don’t forget to take your umbrella, two slices of toast, and newspaper. And, the only proper response to “Janet!” is “Dammit”, just so you are ready.

There you have a basic background primer to begin your absorption of wit, cutting sarcasm, and humor to survive any gay bar conversation. You’ll find that all of these movies will end up on your “repeat watch” lists. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of these movies and how they affected you. You may also feel I have left out an important one. Feel free to let me know which movie YOU would include on your “Gay Primer List”.