Press Reset Buttons to Transform Your Life With Second Chances
The science and art of starting anew, regardless of past mistakes
In the many collections of work stories, this one stands out as a unique and unusual case that influenced my 50 years of experience in tertiary education as a finance lecturer and senior administrator.
In this unique story, I depart from the usual academic themes to delve into a story where the intricacies of academia take an extraordinary twist.
Drawing on a real-life story, I aim to underscore the power of the reset button metaphor as a helpful tool for shedding old habits and embracing a renewed life.
Meet the new faculty member.
A new employee, Ray, walked into my office. “Hello,” he said, shaking hands vigorously. His boisterous demeanor struck me. He was pleasant. I greeted him, saying, “Welcome to the department.”
Ray distinguished himself among the 75 candidates in our finance school, where he played a pivotal role in educating numerous tertiary students.
His demeanor exuded both warmth and expertise. My intuition strongly leaned towards selecting him, recognizing his easygoing nature and substantial teaching experience of seven years, as elaborated in his bio.
After the warm welcome, I informed him, “We have a department meeting in an hour where you’ll meet the faculty. Meanwhile, my assistant will guide you through the files. I’ll be occupied with a meeting with the Director General, but I’ll catch up with you shortly.”
During the meeting, the new member, Ray, was introduced to everyone. He smiled, radiating enthusiasm. We were delighted to have him aboard. His demeanor suggested he would assimilate well into our values. I shared the organization’s mission and vision, and he seemed eager to commit them to memory.
Surprising complaints of alleged rude behavior
A few days later, a student complained that Ray was rude in class. Initially, I couldn’t fully grasp the complaint, finding it hard to believe he could be rude considering our first impression of him. So, I decided to investigate the case.
Soon enough, more students approached me, explaining that Ray had invited a group of students for coffee. While it’s common for management students to engage with teachers, the issue arose because only girls were invited. They felt his demeanor and comments were inappropriate.
Operating within the ethical boundaries of higher education principles, our institute upholds values of equality, diversity, and inclusion. We have a zero-tolerance policy for rude behavior or any form of sexual or gender discrimination.
Unfortunately, a third complaint surfaced when a distressed girl shared that Ray made lewd and sexist comments about her. Despite my concerns, I refrained from confronting him abruptly.
Instead, I informed the students that I’d take necessary action if victims, unafraid of reprisal, made written complaints. She, along with others, submitted a signed complaint, anticipating my next move.
Interestingly, Ray went missing from work for a few days, possibly concerned that complaints had reached me. When I eventually encountered him in the office, I politely addressed the issue, presenting him with the batch of students’ complaints.
Initially attempting to evade responsibility, Ray soon recognized the weight of the evidence. Facing the student, I urged him to acknowledge his mistake and offer a sincere apology. Eventually, he apologized, committed to improving his behavior, and genuinely sought another chance.
Although I was prepared to escalate the matter to the Director General and Chairman, the students chose to withdraw their complaints, opting for an amicable settlement. I respected their decision. Surprisingly, there were no further complaints until a new storm erupted. It seemed Ray had attempted to reset and correct his behavior, but I was not sure.
Silence before the storm
Academic work progressed smoothly, creating a trouble-free environment in which we operated. We sailed through inspections, and it seemed Ray was becoming a valuable department member.
However, dark clouds unexpectedly appeared.
One day, while passing by, I witnessed a heated discussion in a faculty room, escalating to shouting between a faculty member and him.
I intervened, urging both to maintain quiet until my student session concluded. Upon my return, everything appeared normal, but the cycle seemed to repeat between these two staff members without escalation.
When I reprimanded him for his rudeness, he abruptly left, sending an email announcing he wouldn’t return due to health conditions.
He didn’t return for two weeks, sending a medical certificate for leave. We understood he was unwell, so his medical certificate was filed.
Pushing the reset button to transform his life
After two weeks, Ray returned looking fresh, offering a written apology. Summoned by the Director General and Chairman, he displayed remorse.
Miraculously, he underwent a profound transformation, resetting his behavior. This time I intutively felt good about it.
There were no more complaints. I worked closely with him, recognizing his skills. Students admired him, staff members loved him, and he gained respect, got rewards, and earned promotions.
Now a full professor and department head, he handles challenging problems gracefully, supporting his staff and students. He has evolved into one of the organization’s most pleasant and esteemed employees.
The reset in his life was commendable, reflecting both external guidance and internal desire for change.
Whether it was our patience or his inner reflection, both played crucial roles. While I may not comprehend the extent of my influence, he kindly attributes his transformation to me.
But behind this transformative journey lies a deeper internal process, depicting the crucial role of recognizing and promptly acting on valuable feedback to reset life’s buttons and embrace challenges and changes.
Curious about what prompted this remarkable change in Ray’s behavior?
Allow me to briefly outline the key factors that Ray shared with me during a candid heart-to-heart conversation. When he went off the radar using the medical leave, he sought the guidance of a counselor who analyzed his challenges and devised an action plan.
One notable action involved engaging with an executive coach specializing in workplace issues. However, the turning point occurred when this coach introduced Ray to a spiritual guide who, in turn, introduced him to meditation and Yoga.
By joining an Ashram, Ray discovered acceptance within the spiritual community and found inner peace. Meditation was crucial in calming his disturbed mind, while Yoga helped him balance his energies.
Exploring esoteric knowledge like chakras became a part of his routine. As a result, his emotional disturbances subsided. The tranquility of his mind transformed him into a more intuitive person, fostering respect for others and an understanding of their feelings in his responses.
Rather than reacting impulsively, Ray learned to respond with poise, and incorporating mindfulness practices significantly enhanced his emotional intelligence and maturity.
As someone deeply immersed in meditation and Yoga for many years, these effects strongly resonated with me. When Ray later shared this story with other colleagues, they all admired him and expressed a keen interest in trying meditation and Yoga.
Takeaways from My Story
In the context of my story, “resetting the button” is a metaphor for initiating a profound and positive change in one’s behavior, attitude, and life trajectory. I always use this metaphor when educating my students and guiding my proteges.
This metaphor represents a deliberate and conscious effort to break free from negative thoughts, emotional patterns, and past mistakes, embracing a new and improved approach to life.
A transformative process requires pressing a reset button to start anew. It embodies the idea of personal growth, redemption, and the capacity for people to redirect their lives toward a more positive, constructive, and fulfilling path.
The story highlights the transformative power of resetting one’s life. Despite initial challenges and behavioral issues, the person in question changed remarkably, leading to personal development and professional growth.
The pivotal lesson of this story revolves around the transformative power of patience, guidance, and the genuine desire for change. Ray’s realization, driven by the aspiration to emulate senior colleagues, sparked an internal shift that transcended mere behavioral adjustments.
Ray’s commendable willingness to shoulder personal responsibility, coupled with his proactive approach to seeking advice from professionals and diligently following their guidance, catalyzed his transformation. This empowered him to not only identify his weaknesses but, more impressively, to convert them into strengths systematically.
This profound metamorphosis serves as the crux of the story, resembling more a life lesson or moral rather than a mere takeaway. Hence, I refrained from labeling it as such, acknowledging its more profound significance in shaping Ray’s life.
Our patience, coupled with mentorship and counseling, might bring a positive transformation regardless of our past mistakes.
Ray’s story encourages us to recognize and seize opportunities for personal and professional change. It emphasizes the importance of introspection, acknowledging the need for improvement, listening to feedback, and actively pursuing positive transformations in life.
Thank you for the time to read my story.
©Dr. Preeti Singh, 2023. To get my stories in your inbox, you may subscribe to my content here. You may connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, or via email: [email protected]