Preparing Children for the World: Ten Valuable Lessons
Society isn’t raising kids, it’s raising adults.
My closest brother has one adult son and two younger children. The oldest is engaged to be married and the kids will be grown-ups in time. It’s not my place to parent them, but if I had it my way, there are valuable lessons I learned along the way that I hope to contribute to instilling in them as they grow into amazing human beings. I’ll never have all the answers, though I’d be honored to share life according to Aunt Jenny!
1) Life will never be fair, and it will rarely be easy. Grow a thick skin.
2) Love yourself no matter what anyone else thinks. Self-love brings peace, so get to know who you are and be your own best friend. Don’t pretend to be who you think others want, because those who love you aren’t judging you and just want you to be happy and fulfilled. Know your limits. It’s okay not to be great at everything and you can strive to be good at what you can. You are enough.
3) Work hard for yourself. Living off others is not admirable. Inspire others and don’t be a bum. Be proud of what you contribute to this world. If you didn’t earn it, it’s useless without pride and accomplishment. Save for your future first — donate what you can to your favorite charity, even if it’s only five dollars per month. You don’t need “stuff.” The more you have, the more you have to worry about, and my wish for you is that you find the void you’re trying to fill and replace it with what matters…inner love.
4) You are only one person. Breathe, slow down, enjoy life, and do what you love. Learn to sit in silence and just “be.” Reflect, be alone with your own thoughts; solitude breeds self-understanding, especially when you have to face the hard stuff. Allow yourself to think things through and ask for help when you feel alone. It’s a sign of strength that you’re willing to learn. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is knowledge. Don’t spend too much time on the news. Fact-find and do research so you’re not making important decisions based on headlines.
5) Stop hurting animals. Advocate. Make the world better. Think about the hypocrisy in claiming you love animals while ignoring the cruelty. You wouldn’t eat your beloved pet, and I can’t stop you being raised to believe eating other species is okay; every animal has a face, heart, and feelings deserving of love and protection. Just like you.
6) Cry. Sometimes it’s harder to be happy than sad, and you are strong enough to fight through it. Don’t go to the dark side, and don’t let ten minutes with some random jerk ruin your entire life.
7) Learn from those who hurt you and challenge you. They have struggles they haven’t dealt with and are taking it out on you. Live and let live; you can love someone who isn’t good for you — just love them from afar and live your best life. Beware of the whirlwind romance, know when to let go of a zero, and don’t get married until you’re ready to give away half your stuff.
8) Top 10 Traits to Behold: Empathy, loyalty, trustworthiness, motivation, honor, kindness, humility, modesty, gratefulness, and authenticity. Don’t be selfish. Get a fish, a dog, a cat, a house plant…anything that depends on you for life and love. When you master the art of being comfortable in your own skin and nurturing to life, then, and only then, will you be secure enough to be a decent partner to someone else, and eventually, an amazing parent.
9) Love is what you do, not what you say. Be present. Let it go. You don’t need to have every need met at the exact moment you feel it. Learn patience; the other person is going through struggles, too. When you’re wrong, admit you’re wrong — and mean it. If someone tells you what hurts them, don’t use it against them or push their buttons.
Don’t ever use the silent treatment as punishment. It’s cruel. Be kind and do the other person a favor by saying, “I’m angry and it’s not a suitable time to talk. I need time alone to think, and I promise I’ll open up in an hour or two (or a day or two). I know I won’t be mad forever and I don’t want my silence to make you feel you’re not special to me.”
And if it doesn’t work out, don’t be a coward and text a break-up (with a partner or even a friend). Look the other person in the eye and give a valid reason. It will hurt and likely devastate but will leave no questions, and the worst feeling one could imagine is wondering why and what they did wrong. Be fair and don’t play the victim; you don’t need to be a drama queen to get what you want. You have every right not to be with someone, and they have every right not to want to be with you.
10) Learn to laugh at yourself and don’t take life too seriously — no one gets out alive.
Life is hard. I look back and am grateful and humbled by my experiences. The examples above come from scenarios in which I hurt somebody and deeply regret or have been on the receiving end of such harshness. We’re all trying to get through the days with grace and dignity; my wish for you is that you embrace goodness, remain true to yourself, and extend humanity in a manner that makes you proud to be you. Much love and God bless!
Thanks for reading! And remember — Smart people read. Smarter people write!
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