Practical Life Skills to Teach Your Daughter with Little Effort
Get her involved in your every day grown-up things.
“I’m not learning anything practical in school. Can we have a weekly meeting where you teach me something useful, like, how to pay a bill?”
This inquiry came from my 14-year-old daughter eager to be 35 and on her own already.
Her statement is a clear indication we are at the half-year mark in the school calendar year.
The novelty of a new school year has long worn off, everyone is tired of homework at this point. Feelings of overwhelm and boredom are at their peak for kids in middle school and high school.
But she has a point.
She doesn’t feel ready to be on her own. How many times have your used algebra in the real world?
The life skills we need to be successful get glossed over in most schools or not talked about at all.
So, I made a list of things to teach her.
Most practical life skills we hope are passed down through osmosis while our children watch us living life successfully, but you may need to actively get your teenager involved to learn some things required of grown-ups, and the grown-up she’ll eventually become.
Some tasks on this list, like teaching compounding interest, require sitting down with your teen, getting out a piece of paper, and explaining in detail to your kiddo what they need to know, so she feels confident managing the world on her own someday.
According to one of the best books on teenage girls I’ve read, Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.,
Teenagers and toddlers have a lot in common — I’ve heard some parents refer to their teens as “toddlers on hormones” — with a key commonality being their need to establish that they are an independent state while still submitting to the laws of the reigning government.
Parents are the ruling government, and our teens watch us closely.
Teenagers are figuring stuff out; they are not sure of themselves yet; most of the time, they are not sure of themselves at all. If your teen is feeling unsure of learning something, try what you did when they were little, and break the work of handing tasks over to your child in stages.
Lisa Damour continues,
“Specifically, think in terms of helping your daughter move from having you do the task for her, to doing it with her, to standing by to admire her as she does it, and finally, to letting her do it alone.”
Life skills for teens to get them ready for life
Finances and Money — How-to’s
- Make a budget and stick to it.
- Open a checking and savings account.
- Write a check.
- Balance a checking account.
- Apply for a credit card, learn how and when to use it. How interest works on credit cards. How *not* to get into debt with a credit card.
- Interest rates.
- Buy a stock. Compounding interest.
- Why and how much to give to charity.
- The importance of saving for an emergency fund.
- Maintain financial records.
- Loan, including school loans, and how they work.
- Pay a bill.
Domestic Skills — How-to’s
- Change the batteries in the fire alarm.
- Tie a slip knot.
- Flip the breaker when a fuse blows.
- Recognize the smell of gas .
- Stop a toilet from running, reattaching the chain.
- Toilet plunging.
- Organize a toolbox — including a hammer, level, pliers, wire cutter, box cutter, screwdriver, wrench.
- Sew a button.
- Understanding food labels.
- How to make three meals for yourself.
- Fold a fitted sheet.
- Find a stud in the wall.
- Measure twice and cut once.
Personal Health — How-to’s
- Self-protection.
- Being aware of surroundings.
- Talk to your doctor, so they hear you. How to be open and honest with your doctors.
- Make an appointment.
- Stay safe when traveling alone.
- Stay safe at night — don’t travel with strangers or pick up hitchhikers when traveling alone. To get a ride at night always and have someone meet you on the way.
- Carry extra cash.
- Keep someone posted of your whereabouts is a good idea as is traveling with an ID.
- Knowing when to go to the doctor.
- Basic first aid and CPR for medical emergencies.
Car Maintenance and Driving — How-to’s
- Buy a car.
- Register a car.
- Why it’s essential to have a clean driving record and the proper documents like driver’s license and registration.
- Oil change.
- Pump gas.
- Use jumper cable.
- Traffic rules and safety for themselves and others.
- Change a tire.
- Reading a map, when you have no GPS.
- How to check oil, use a tire gauge and an air pressure pump.
- The ability to read bus, train or flight schedule, and timetables.
Etiquette — How-to’s
- Email, text, and social media etiquette.
- Value relationships.
- Respecting other people’s views even if you do not agree with them.
- Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’
- Write a thank you letter.
- Send a birthday card to your parents and flowers.
Behavioral Skills — How-to’s
- Discern between fact and opinion.
- Read and listen to the news with critical thought. Develop the ability to distinguish between fact and fiction.
- Face problems and not run away from them.
- Problem-solving — the first step is identifying the problem.
- Come up with a list of possible solutions.
Other — How-to’s
- Find the North Star.
- Not to be afraid to ask for anything you want.
- Talk to strangers
- Write a good intro letter for a resumes.
- Write a resume.
- Recognize a gaslighter.
- Teach them to stay true to themselves.
- Be honest.
- Encourage them to explore their values by modeling honesty and integrity in your choices.
There are many more life skills our teens need to master for adulthood. This is just a list to get you started.
Part of parenting is learning to let go. I struggle with this part the most.
What makes the letting go process easier, though, is knowing you’re releasing a competent, thoughtful, responsible, and loving person into the world.
Jessica is a writer, an online entrepreneur, and a recovering type-A personality. She lives in Los Angeles with her extrovert daughter, two dogs, and two cats.
