Practical Grandiosity: Robert Greene’s Advice for Success the Smart Way
You need to know your limits.
I once tried to raise $125,000 for a startup. But I had a problem.
At the time I had no concept of just how much money that was. I tried it because that’s how much someone told me I needed for startup costs. Despite my ignorance, I believed I could do it and I was able to reach about $40,000 of my goal. But it wasn’t enough to give my startup a strong launch. Though I forged ahead, the startup eventually failed.
Have you ever bitten off more than you can chew?
When you don’t have an accurate perception of your limits, you can hurt yourself and other people. Everybody wants to feel special and accomplished in some way. So you take on a gigantic goal–a new business idea, a relationship, or a world-changing vision–and run with it.
People around you may have tried to persuade you wasn’t a good idea. But you pressed forward because deep down you thought you believed in yourself. There’s just one problem.
Your self-belief is a fantasy, and not based on any real accomplishments from your past. It’s called grandiosity, it kills more dreams and futures than it creates.
In his book The Laws of Human Nature, Robert Greene says grandiosity feels good and impresses others. But it usually causes more harm than good. As an alternative, he gives readers what he calls “practical grandiosity,” which is the art of knowing your limits.
According to Green, practicing practical grandiosity makes your goals more attainable.
Create a snowball effect
You want [your] goal to be relatively simple to reach, and within a time frame of months and not years. You will want to break this down into minis steps and goals along the way. –Robert Greene
You probably give up before you reach your goal. It isn’t because you’re stupid or incapable, but because your goal is too big. If you want to lose 25 pounds, it’s better to start with a goal of losing two. Bump your target up a little more each time you achieve your last goal until you get where you want to be.
You already know setting small goals is a better way to achieve them, so why don’t you do it? Because society tells us big hairy goals are sexy. You look at your heroes and see their accomplishments, and you believe they achieved them by buckling down and going for it all at once. What you do not see is all the little steps they took along the way.
Grandiosity makes you think you’re capable of more than you are. It goes hand-in-hand with narcissism because it requires a sense of superiority, entitlement, and overconfidence. But practical grandiosity requires self-knowledge.
As you achieve smaller goals, your confidence starts to snowball. This isn’t confidence built on fantasy but actual accomplishments.
Make this your best friend
Now you must actively search for feedback and criticism from people you respect or from your natural audience. You want to hear about the flaws and inadequacies in your plan, for that is the only way to improve your skills. –Robert Greene
The problem with grandiosity is that you become detached from reality. You become preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. When these things become your focus, your ship is sunk.
Greene says you can avoid this kind of fantastical grandiosity by “maintaining a dialogue with reality.” What does that mean? It means seeking out feedback from teachers, mentors, and your audience. There’s just one problem, feedback can hurt. That’s why it’s easy to stay in your fantasy.
One of the great benefits of the internet and social media is that you can get feedback in real-time. Go online and record your song, write your blog, or talk about your business plan and see what feedback you get. Feedback is your friend and can help you take a quantum leap forward.
You are not Ernest Hemingway, you do not need to spend years working on a creative project in solitude. You are not Steve Jobs, you don’t need to invent the next big thing in a secret lab and launch it onto an unsuspecting world. Take small steps, and seek feedback all the way through.
Reality is your best friend. If you get caught up in what Greene calls “fantastical grandiosity” you are much more likely to fail. I know, staying grounded and in touch with reality doesn’t sound as exciting as dreaming big dreams and making big moves. But do you know what is exciting? Achieving those dreams without tearing your life apart.
The mistake that can ruin everything
Your goal with practical grandiosity is to continually look for challenges just above your skill level. -Robert Greene
Humans are hardwired for comfort. When you begin a new relationship, business, or project, you’ll try anything to get it up and running. If you follow the snowball effect, eventually the snowball gets so big it will not continue rolling and takes an enormous amount of leverage to move. The same is true for you.
It’s amazing how fast you can acclimate to new conditions. If you have ever played a sport or followed a weight lifting regimen, you know how it feels to plateau–to reach a point where you’re no longer growing. You have to continue challenging yourself in new and uncomfortable ways. But there’s a catch.
Taking on bigger challenges as you grow doesn’t mean you get to detach from reality. You need an awareness of your limits, even as your limits expand. Greene suggests calibrating your next challenge by choosing something that not too easy and not too hard.
It might seem like common sense, but it’s easy to let your ego make the decisions after one or two victories.
One last thing
You may read this and think, “I don’t have grandiose dreams of changing the world. I want to do work I love, make a positive impact on the world around me, and have a family that loves me.” Here’s the thing, grandiosity does not only come from big dreams it comes from idealism too.
There’s a time and a place for using your imagination and creativity. But don’t allow your fantasies about what life will be like “someday” to stop you from taking action and seeking feedback right now.
“Most people overestimate what they can accomplish in one year,” said Bill Gates, “and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” So keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground. Your life can change faster than you think.
