Powerful Ways to Overcome Failure
Who is stopping you from achieving anything? — is it you?
We all want to follow our dreams, but we see that not everyone can do it. This happens because most of us don’t persist long enough, due to one important element to reach success — Failure.
Why do we fear failure?
In our society, failure is something we should be ashamed of. Thus when we fail, we feel like we’re not smart enough or not worthy enough.
This is especially true in the Western world, where self-worth is so deeply attached to how successful a person is. It’s like failure automatically deducts a piece of value from us.
Our society also teaches us that when we fail, we should stop trying. This type of mentality starts in childhood. As kids, we learn that our mistakes are bad. And so, every time we failed, we were blamed and criticized. This only made us feel bad about ourselves, and that’s why we fear making mistakes, even when we grow up.
Change the label
The concept of failure is misunderstood. Instead of seeing it as something bad, see it as a vehicle, a friend, or a teacher.
See it as an opportunity to learn what worked and what didn’t.
We don’t have to avoid failure at all costs — failing is natural. We can’t avoid it, and it’s part of the process. Failure is an essential key to learning and moving forward. When you move forward, you reach the next level. Then another failure occurs. Once again, you learn, move forward, and reach another level.
Fail. Learn. Move forward.
Fail. Learn. Move forward.
And so it goes until you achieve your dreams — that’s how we evolve.
Failure is knowledge. Knowledge is success.
If you look at your failures as your friends, they will stop holding you back. Think about Thomas A. Edison when he was creating the light bulb. After so many attempts, when his idea was finally brought to life, he said:
— “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10.000 ways that won’t work.”
Don’t quit too early
During the first phase of your journey, it will be inevitable that you will make many mistakes. Instead of seeing this as failing, start seeing it as preparation. Then, as you continue, you can ask yourself:
— “What is greater? My desire to succeed or my fear of failing?”
Every single person does what they believe is right in the moment. The way we gain more experience about what works and what doesn’t is by making (countless!) mistakes. If your fear is bigger than your desire, step back for a moment and realize that every time you failed, you made the best decision you thought you could make at that moment.
You can’t expect your past self to know what you know right now. Thanks to your past self, you know what you know now. The best thing to do is to appreciate the knowledge and experience you gained from the mistakes made by your past self.
You can’t learn to stand up without falling over.
You can’t learn a new language without making grammar mistakes.
You can’t learn how to play an instrument without making it sound horrible.
Simply go and fail as fast as you can, don’t let it stop you.
Don’t compare your 1st level with someone’s 34th level
There’s absolutely no point in comparing ourselves with someone ahead of us, the same way there’s no point in comparing a 6-year-old child’s running speed with a baby who is learning how to stand up. Simple as that.
You are not your failures
We tend to put a lot of meaning into our past failing moments. If someone in the past rejected us, we feel like it’s meant to happen again. But that’s the story we keep telling ourselves. That story is what is holding us back.
What happens next is that we tend to go up and down, depending on our successes and failures. If we conquer in life, we are winners, and if we fail, we are losers.
This could not be farther from the truth.
When you subtract your self-worth based on your mistakes, it is like you’re expecting yourself to know what you didn’t know. And it just doesn’t work that way.
The past does not equal the future, and it’s just better if you detach yourself from what you did or didn’t accomplish.
Take it from Michael Jordan. He’s one of the best athletes for some reason. And he said:
— “I failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeeded.”
See if your fear of failure is linked to a past trauma
If you had the type of parents or caregivers who used to yell at you every time you made a mistake, there’s a big possibility you are programmed to avoid failure at all costs.
This happens because when we are kids, we think differently. So if our parents or caregivers punish us for doing something bad, we will perceive it as if we are bad. If we’re bad, we don’t deserve to be loved. If we don’t deserve to be loved, people will reject us. We will be left alone.
This kind of perspective follows us into our adult life. We spend our lives fearing to fail when, in fact, what we really fear is being rejected and left alone. Thus we don’t take risks. We stay in our comfort zone because we know we’ll be safer. We sabotage ourselves into following our dreams because we believe that failure equals rejection and abandonment.
If this is your case, know that you can easily find your past traumas and fix them, so they don’t stop you from being who you want to become.
You should also know that trauma is nothing else than a “severe emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience”.
This only means that every single human on this planet has some type of trauma, in one way or another.
Our job is to heal our traumas so we can accomplish anything we want.
When you reach the top of your mountain and succeed, look back to your failures and see them as part of the journey. Of course, you will feel frustrated and discouraged at times. But just bear in mind that it’s part of the process. And again, that’s how you learn. Just keep giving your best effort.
When you change your relationship with failure, you will understand that you only fail when you quit. When you fail and stop, it’s over. But when you fail, get up, shake the dust off, and move forward, you have learned something you can apply in your next step. You evolve.
So go and fail your way to achieve your wildest dreams.
Don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I’m happy to help you in anything I can.
Good luck. 🌞
↠ let’s connect on Instagram
↠ would love you to have a look at my first Ebook: KEEP GROWING — Easy Guide To Reconnect With Yourself
↠ If you’re not yet a member of Medium I would be delighted if you join us here.