How to be more positive when you’re feeling like a Debbie Downer
The self-help guru’s can suck it. These are the real steps that can take you from Debbie Downer to Super Sandra.
No matter where you look today, you’ll see self-help gurus touting the benefits of thinking positive. I myself have even penned an article or two on the topic, and know first hand the power of transforming your thoughts and reframing them from negative to positive.
Being a more optimistic person isn’t always as simple as changing your thinking, though.
Some days are gloomier than others and life is hard. Obstacles come at us and setbacks seem to increase by the day, making our horizons seem gloomy and our futures overcast.
It’s tough to stay positive all the time — if not impossible. We all have down days and, some mornings, you might just wake up thinking that everything sucks and it’s all too much.
A day could start great and go south quickly, or you might just be going through a tough time in general. Whatever it is, “simply thinking positive” isn’t always that simple at all.
Most people can function or take control in the midst of a single crisis. But when that crisis becomes a drizzle that becomes a downpour? Well, that’s the flood that makes it hard to keep your head above water. That nagging sense of gloom throws us off course and causes us to be unhappy, which goes on to reinforce all those negative behaviors and emotions that I’m always going on about.
But none of that changes the fact that a positive mindset does work. And it certainly doesn’t change the fact that having a more positive outlook can do wonders for our personal and professional lives.
If you’re having a particularly rough go of it at the moment, don’t despair.
You can pick yourself up, but it’s going to take a little effort on your part. Discover the 9 ways you can go from being trapped in a cloud of negativity to flying high on Cloud 9 in Positivity Heaven. The only person keeping you a Debbie Downer is you. The question is whether you’re truly ready to have a better day or not.
The 9 Best Ways to Go from Negative Thinking to Positive Thinking
1. Remind yourself of why you’re so frickin’ awesome.
Do you remember that time you went wake-boarding and totally impressed everyone at the lake? Remember that proposal that totally scored the big account and got you that major promotion?
Sit down and take a minute to celebrate some of your accomplishments and remind yourself why you’re so frickin’ awesome.
Grab whatever it is that you consider to be your “proudest moment” and relive it a few times. You could do that through pictures, talking about the moment with a friend or just going through some old work emails. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, just take a second to celebrate you.
It’s easy to beat yourself up, especially if you’re prone to negative self-dialogue already. When we constantly walk around telling ourselves how bad we are, we start to believe it, and this can have a major impact on our overall health and feelings.
Remind yourself why you’re a special individual with valuable skills that mean a lot to the world around you. When you remember why you rock, you can remember your purpose and a little motivation can go a long, long way in making you forget the negative feelings you harbored before.
2. Show a little gratitude.
It doesn’t matter who you are, if you’re a living human being — you have something to be grateful for.
Take 5 minutes to sit down each day and make a list of all the things in your life that you’re grateful for. List the great things in your life and the things that make you smile. Read through the list a few times and make sure not to forget the simple things.
You’ll start to feel better in no time when you remember that it’s not all doom and gloom. There’s something out there for everyone to love in life and if you haven’t found that yet it’s time to get started.
3. Treat yo’self.
Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department said it right when they said “treat yo’self!”
Yes, rampant consumerism is a horrendous problem in the world. But it’s also a great way to enhance your mood and increase your motivation. When we give ourselves a little reward for putting in some extra effort, we encourage ourselves to keep pushing forward.
Treats can be as small as that chocolate bar you’ve been eyeing in the check out line, or as grand as an afternoon at a spa for you and a friend. The sky is really the limit as long as it encourages you to be better and do better (and is within your financial means.)
4. Phone a friend.
If you’re feeling down in the dumps, calling a close friend could be a great way to connect and get help with the issues that you’re facing.
Friends have a way of knowing what you need when you need it, and they can often provide the motivational kick we need to keep going. Often, it is our friends that can see (from their outside perspective) what is really going on, and often it is only these friends that can provide us with the critical eye we need to truly improve.
If you’re stuck in a rut and want to start looking toward the sky again, call up your best Judy. Chances are she / he has the prescription you need to start feeling better again…even if you don’t necessarily know what’s wrong.
5. Clean out your desk.
Woah, woah, woah. Calm down. I’m not talking quitting your job, Brenda. There’s no need to be so dramatic.
Cleaning out your desk can be a great way to hit the reset button. Organizing is a really renewing process, and clutter can be a distraction that causes us to feel down and depressed.
Clean and orderly workspaces take away stress and make focusing easier. This process also allows you to get creative with your workspace, and tweak the flow so that it works better for you and your professional needs.
6. Make a new friend.
Making new friends is a great way to bring a new level of possibility and excitement into your life. New friends are exhilarating and new connections can lead to new possibilities that you may not even be able to imagine.
You can make professional connections through LinkedIn meet-ups or other corporate networking events, but you can also make mature and professional friends through local meet-ups and hangouts across the world.
When we meet new people, not only do we expand our social groups but we also learn new things. Friends can also transition into mentors and partners that help us on our professional and personal paths.
Try reaching out to people in a different part of the company you work for, or just get involved in some local networking events. Whatever you do, it’s the experience that counts and your willingness to keep working toward your ultimate goal of a more positive mindset.
7. Get ready to tackle that project.
Everyone has that one project that they’ve been dwelling on for weeks or months or years.
We build up excitement about all kinds of projects in our day-to-day lives but we never seem to tackle them, passing them up for work or family or whatever other thing consumes our time and attention.
If you’re feeling like you’re really down in the gutters, now’s the time to try that project. What have you really got to lose?
When we pick up something that we find interesting or enjoyable we learn more and get excited about learning. Rather than being a distraction, these projects breathe new life into us and allow us to remember that not everything is bad and there are — in fact — some good things going on out there in this big mean world.
Start learning the guitar or go and take that still-life drawing class you’ve been fantasizing about. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you instill some passion in your life again.
8. Watch the heck out of some funny Youtube videos.
Most of the self-help gurus will tell you that you need to meditate to find your way onto a more positive path.
I say you need to watch more old Vines on Youtube.
Get on the video giant and look for funny videos. Fall on down the rabbit hole and let yourself just have some unabated fun for 20 uninterrupted minutes. Have some laughs and forget all the things that got you down in the first place.
Laughter actually decreases the stress hormones in our bodies and helps to increase immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies that keep us healthy and germ-free. Laughter literally helps you to prevent disease and more than that, it triggers the release of endorphins which make us feel super good.
Never underestimate the power of a good belly laugh to improve your day, and never underestimate the power of comedy to transform your thinking. Treat yourself to a laugh or two and you’ll find yourself feeling perkier in no time.
9. Throw yourself a celebration bash.
I’ve never been more serious about any advice in my life.
Celebrating yourself can be used to mark progress and encourage continued growth. They can also be reminders that we need to take a break and not take life so seriously that we forget how important it is to enjoy ourselves.
You can set bigger and bolder goals when you learn how to celebrate the little ones, and being able to so openly and publicly display your achievements and successes (no matter how small) will help you to build confidence in yourself and your purpose in this life.
When we celebrate ourselves, we invite others to celebrate us too and create a culture where it’s okay to love ourselves and our wins. We start to recognize winning in other and when you can come to celebrate that, you’ve truly made it.
Celebration breeds gratitude and gratitude is exactly what it takes to shift our thinking from a negative mindset to a positive one (see Step 2). We can use celebrations to reflect and recalibrate so that we can reposition ourselves for an even stronger attack on our goals the next time.
Putting it all together…
Having a positive outlook is a hard state to achieve, especially when you’re someone who is struggling with a negative outlook or difficult circumstances in your life. It’s not always as easy as simply taking a bubble bath and meditating for an hour — being positive is hard work and it takes hard work too.
Cultivate a positive state by reconnecting with the things that actually matter in your life. Reach out to the people you love and rediscover the passion you once had for the projects you put on the shelf. Be thankful the things in your life you do have going right and don’t forget to celebrate your personal and professional victories — no matter how small.
