Porch Pirates Took my Second ColoGuard Return Box

After animals ripped up the first one all over my porch

Humor is not pretty.

Crime does not pay.

Your health is EXTREMELY SERIOUS.

But, my bad luck is funnier to you than it is to me.

If, for some reason, you find my situation amusing, well, that’s your problem. I admit, it’s no hilarious butt-crash, but it’s not cerebral either, just ironic.

The victim is the poor goof with his old, beater of a van full of ill-gotten gains on his way home from a hard day at “work” when he checks his haul.

He is risking a doorbell camera, arrest, and worse, being posted on Facebook as the day’s unluckiest thief.

The most ironic is the reader who guffaws quietly but doesn’t clap because he doesn’t want to make me act any worse.