Poor Outside Flat!

When we get used to good things, it is difficult to lower the level.

I have already told a story here that narrated the events during a trip I took with my best friend (at the time), his wife, his daughters, and his sister-in-law. During the night, the sister-in-law — who didn’t exactly have the most beautiful face I have ever seen in a woman but had an interesting body — slept with me on a mattress on the living room floor, along with my friend’s two young daughters. I slept on the left end, the sister-in-law in the middle, and the girls on the right. My friend and his wife on the couch, glued to us.

In the course of the night, the sister-in-law rubs her ass on me. I was in a bizarre situation… I was not very enthusiastic about doing anything with her, but of course, my body spoke up, and things got a little hotter. Only I was on a mattress on the floor with two GIRLS, in addition to their parents just inches from us. So I couldn’t encourage the sister-in-law, and I wasn’t that excited anyway. After a lot of rubbing, when she turned to kiss me, I said, “Not here!” and things have cooled down.

Only the next day, I pretended that nothing happened. And that made the girl uneasy. She ended up telling my husband’s wife, her sister, what had happened at night. And the two talked about it aloud, close to me and my best friend, her brother-in-law.

Before the end of the story, it is good to point out one thing: this friend of mine worked with me at Pakalolo. He witnessed all the damage my twenty-year-old version did there. “Pakalolo” was the name of a surf clothing store where I worked with a lot of beautiful women at a time when I was a ladies' man. Let’s say I didn’t spare myself in those years, and I didn’t spare the hearts of the girls who worked with me either.

Returning to the story, my friend heard his sister-in-law complaining to his wife that I had excited her at dawn, but now I pretended that nothing had happened. He and I were laughing in the living room — if I’m not mistaken, they were in the kitchen — when my friend said this, out loud for the whole house to hear: “Juliano is used to filet mignon! When they throw an outside flat on the plate, he spits!”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or defend the girl…

In Portuguese, “brother-in-law” is spelled “cunhado.” The first syllable, “cu,” is equivalent to “ass” in English. So we have a saying here, which says, “It is not for nothing that ‘cunhado’ starts with this syllable…”