Pondering On Patience

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Abstract

m because you are scared that someone else might take them and fly away. Though the childish mind might blackmail you to act quickly according to tips written in books on ‘How to get laid’ or ‘How To Pretend I am Honest’, etc, to fool the opposite sex.Even after the achievements, sooner you will have to face the ‘Am I a fucking joke’ moment. But no worries, self-help gurus will give you ways to get busy with stupid goals and tasks to suppress the ‘joke’. Which is probably how they fool themselves.Just because I can read and write, does not mean I am a writer. At least I can stop deluding myself. This does not mean I can skip the stages of impatience and frustrations by cleverly mimicking delayed gratification or highly effective people.When you fuck up, like really fuck up, you do not fantasize about reaching that old you who was just fine; it is just bullshit because it is the old you that made you this way. So instead of doing something quickly out of cleverness, take time to see why you keep fucking up.Sometimes people develop panic attacks suddenly and then they sit and fantasize about the old ‘me’ (who was blissfully unaware of their bullshits) and force the therapist to give them back their old self. Rarely they show the intelligence to consider the possibility that it is the very old self that ended up this way, and what they need is not the impatience to get back to the old days of glory, but to open up to the possibility of waking up.Most self-improvement gurus give you instant cheap tricks that allow you to get back to your old self. Delayed gratification is one such joke because the childish mind won't do anything unless there is some sort of reward; if not now, at least tomorrow. But the child is still strong and in control. Imita

Options

ting maturity without any insight is a joke. Rewards will just laugh at you — as said before — making you think: “Am I a fucking joke?”. But if you are a successful self deluder then it may not affect you much.The impatient mind will only appreciate black and white thinking. If I am informed that being patient is the real deal, then I will try hard to be patient, but would never consider the possibility of accomodating my own impatience; paradoxically being patient.Consciously living out your childishness is painful, and it is the act of being conscious of your own frustrations that might lead to understanding, maturity, and humility. Not cleverly imitating effective tips because I can't be bothered; I just want to look good outwardly, get my rewards, and to fool myself. I had read books on ‘How to grow up’ or ‘ How to be humble’ from my privileged couch, that will do; I might say and fool myself that I had won the grown-up trophy.Regarding helping someone, you cannot give someone or show someone your external world and expect those to be genuinely helpful to them. But if you have a well developed internal world, then perhaps you can be of any help. Simply saying ‘See I achieved this (external), so do you can’ is plain nonsense. You are not only merely bullshitting but also keeping them in delusion.There is no way we can bypass the process of un-fucking oneself. All we could achieve with impatience and cleverness is to keep coming back to the same stage and face the joke, again and again. Even imitating patience would not do any good. When we look at ourselves and see how fucked up we are and that the only decent move is to begin from there (no matter how difficult it could be) then perhaps the ‘I might as well grow up’ moment had arrived.</article></body>

Looking into the impatient mind

Perhaps patience can only emerge when you realize the futility of being impatient. Success, fame, or any other bullshits achieved through impatience and out of fear of losing will eventually laugh at you, straight to your face; making you think: “Am I a fucking joke.” Sure no one will know. People around you will not notice. They only care about your outward show; internal blossoming is rarely appreciated by others in society.

This does not mean you must not have any desires or any such spiritual bullshits, but just that the outward gains must emerge through internal readiness — patience, maturity, conscious-frustration, ability to be honest with oneself, etc. Life must also favor me with my desires; not a never-ending struggle which I might call heroism, but really only an inability to grow up.

Patience is not something one can cultivate using self-help gimmicks or mental-masturbating about the delayed gratification concept. But it must probably come to us like noticing a gentle breeze on an afternoon when we finally see the there is no joy or aliveness in being driven by impatience. Nothing works; I might as well grow the fuck up moment.

Just because one began to have an orgasm that does not mean they are ready for sex, let alone a married life. Just because a man/woman looks attractive does not mean you have to jump onto them because you are scared that someone else might take them and fly away. Though the childish mind might blackmail you to act quickly according to tips written in books on ‘How to get laid’ or ‘How To Pretend I am Honest’, etc, to fool the opposite sex.

Even after the achievements, sooner you will have to face the ‘Am I a fucking joke’ moment. But no worries, self-help gurus will give you ways to get busy with stupid goals and tasks to suppress the ‘joke’. Which is probably how they fool themselves.

Just because I can read and write, does not mean I am a writer. At least I can stop deluding myself. This does not mean I can skip the stages of impatience and frustrations by cleverly mimicking delayed gratification or highly effective people.

When you fuck up, like really fuck up, you do not fantasize about reaching that old you who was just fine; it is just bullshit because it is the old you that made you this way. So instead of doing something quickly out of cleverness, take time to see why you keep fucking up.

Sometimes people develop panic attacks suddenly and then they sit and fantasize about the old ‘me’ (who was blissfully unaware of their bullshits) and force the therapist to give them back their old self. Rarely they show the intelligence to consider the possibility that it is the very old self that ended up this way, and what they need is not the impatience to get back to the old days of glory, but to open up to the possibility of waking up.

Most self-improvement gurus give you instant cheap tricks that allow you to get back to your old self. Delayed gratification is one such joke because the childish mind won't do anything unless there is some sort of reward; if not now, at least tomorrow. But the child is still strong and in control. Imitating maturity without any insight is a joke. Rewards will just laugh at you — as said before — making you think: “Am I a fucking joke?”. But if you are a successful self deluder then it may not affect you much.

The impatient mind will only appreciate black and white thinking. If I am informed that being patient is the real deal, then I will try hard to be patient, but would never consider the possibility of accomodating my own impatience; paradoxically being patient.

Consciously living out your childishness is painful, and it is the act of being conscious of your own frustrations that might lead to understanding, maturity, and humility. Not cleverly imitating effective tips because I can't be bothered; I just want to look good outwardly, get my rewards, and to fool myself. I had read books on ‘How to grow up’ or ‘ How to be humble’ from my privileged couch, that will do; I might say and fool myself that I had won the grown-up trophy.

Regarding helping someone, you cannot give someone or show someone your external world and expect those to be genuinely helpful to them. But if you have a well developed internal world, then perhaps you can be of any help. Simply saying ‘See I achieved this (external), so do you can’ is plain nonsense. You are not only merely bullshitting but also keeping them in delusion.

There is no way we can bypass the process of un-fucking oneself. All we could achieve with impatience and cleverness is to keep coming back to the same stage and face the joke, again and again. Even imitating patience would not do any good. When we look at ourselves and see how fucked up we are and that the only decent move is to begin from there (no matter how difficult it could be) then perhaps the ‘I might as well grow up’ moment had arrived.