Pondering My Womb

Summary

"Pondering My Womb" is a free verse poem by Lori Carlson that reflects on the personal choice of prioritizing a life of writing and creativity over motherhood.

Abstract

The poem "Pondering My Womb" by Lori Carlson delves into the author's introspection on her decision to forgo motherhood in favor of pursuing her passion for poetry and the intellectual lifestyle associated with it. The poem vividly describes the emotional and physical experience of undergoing abortions, expressing a sense of loss and emptiness despite the conscious choice to pursue a different path. Carlson contrasts the life she chose—filled with late-night writing sessions, poetic discussions, and literary indulgences—with the lingering, wistful thoughts of what could have been, symbolized by the "hushed whimper of a child." The poem is a contemplation of the complexities of personal choice and the resonating impact of those decisions on one's identity and sense of fulfillment.

Opinions

The author expresses a sense of detachment and dissociation during the process of terminating pregnancies.
There is an evident internal conflict between the fulfillment of personal aspirations and societal expectations of motherhood.
The poem conveys a deep connection between the author's identity and her commitment to a life dedicated to writing and the arts.
Despite having achieved the life she envisioned, the author acknowledges a poignant sense of void and unspoken longing for the experience of motherhood.
The poem suggests that the choice to prioritize personal dreams over traditional life paths can lead to complex emotional landscapes, including feelings of guilt and the haunting presence of "what if."

Free Verse poem

On that cold, cold slab they ripped you out like a dead cold fish left the nothingness inside a black hole where seeds of life failed to sprout

Twice I plucked the seeds from you disassociated the sucking, the sucking and although shame followed me home I wanted what I wanted and that did not include birthing babies

I gave up motherhood for poetry slams coffee shops and college I wanted the writer’s dream: 3 a.m. muse attacks midday luncheons with poets library overloads and group readings over potluck

And so I wonder after getting what I wanted why this final separation of you from me leaves such an emptiness and the hushed whimper of a child?

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Lori Carlson writes poetry, fiction, personal essays, creative non-fiction, and articles. She focuses on Spirituality, Life Lessons, Self-Awareness, Relationships, Mental Health, and LGBTQ+. She is the Owner/Editor of Promptly Written and Not For Bedtime Stories. You can find her older stories on her Medium Blog, Ravyne’s Nest.

POETRY | LIFE CHOICES

Pondering My Womb

Free Verse poem