Poem: Tony, My First Gay Lover

— Almost

This is from a series of poems about my intimate encounters. This true story is from when I was secretly trans but still appearing outwardly male. I’m still writing this series and volunteers for new poems are welcome.

When I danced with Tony there was a little ditch That ran down his back. I caressed it up and down as we swayed, Pat Benatar throbbing to a disco beat and lights strobing from a dozen balls.

I wondered where the hell was his spine.

I found Tony at HoJons. Great name for a gay bar. I asked a friend where it was and he said, “gay bars are always by the bus stations, Most of us kind of ride a circuit.” He grinned, “You know, like a rodeo.” He tipped his hat and got into a pretty boy’s truck.

Tony and I chatted over the music. I missed half of what he said, But it didn’t matter. I just gazed into his eyes and smiled a lot. I drank Black Russians. Too many.

He took me to his apartment, Furnished entirely in brass and glass With huge framed prints by Patrick Nagel.

I followed him to his bedroom Wobbling a bit. Not very sexy. We undressed and climbed under the sheets. He said, “Top or bottom?’

I said, “I don’t know. I’ve never done this.”

He looked stunned. Then he smiled. He bent over me tenderly as I reached again for the river channel down his back. He kissed me, and said, “Your first time Can’t be when you’re drunk.”

He kissed me again and rolled over to his side of the bed.

Years later I heard he died at the age of 25 from “gay pneumonia.”

About Kelly

I’ve had an amazing life and I’m anxious to tell you more poignant and amazing stories. I’m also a retired attorney who worked with over 2,000 families in crisis and transition. Please follow me for more pieces of my life and helpful advice I learned the hard way. I’m poor because I was an honest attorney. Please consider buying me a beverage (I’m a cheap date so anything is appreciated). My Venmo is @kellygrace17 and my CashApp is $kellysophiagrace. Thank you.