Pluck the Weeds Out of Your Life

Simplicity is the key.

It was interesting to watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix deliver advice on clearing out your house. I watched the first three episodes of the series and then stopped. Nothing personal; I just realized that I was experiencing clutter overload. I mean, how many times can one watch someone's kitchen be de-cluttered?

Recently, I realized that this de-cluttering could apply to other parts of life as well.

I’ve started a new thing. You know that uncomfortable flash you get in the back of your mind when something’s not right? You’re irritated or just plain mad. Sometimes you can’t put your finger on it at first.

Maybe someone said something that needed clarity. What did they mean when they said…that?

Perhaps you didn’t pay a bill either because you don’t have the money or want the service anymore. It’s decision time.

You’ve fallen into taking on an obligation that was really not your responsibility.

Do you feel that some injustice has occurred?

You didn’t say no when you should have.

STOP.

Return to the issue at hand. What is it that’s bothering you? Really.

It’s time to de-clutter, not your house — but your life.

It takes time and grit.

This process takes time because you have to stop and be honest with yourself. Was it your fault? Perhaps you were feeling weak at the time, and you gave in because it kept the peace.

If the obligation is almost over, you feel committed to seeing it through. Understandable. You accept this, you tell yourself, and get it done.

But no more. We’ve all done this. No long-term harm has been committed.

However, it would help if you dug deep within to gather the grit to say no in the future.

It takes grit, for example, to ask someone why they said what they said to you. It may be that you misunderstood. But there is a reason why you have a weird feeling in your gut. It could be a micro-aggression that makes you feel less than you are, something that makes you feel like an imposter. There’s been much said about the imposter syndrome;

which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

We know that it can all be in your mind. But believe me when I tell you that there are times when it is not. There are instances when someone ignorantly or intentionally says something to you that reinforces that imposter syndrome feeling. They do it out of their insecurity. And it’s up to you to root it out.

That’s where the grit comes in. Ask them what they meant. It could surprise you. In either case, they will think twice before they do it again. And you walk away, having taken control of the situation.

Simply your life

Do you owe money? Pay it or call and make arrangements. Don’t walk around with that feeling of guilt. If it’s a service and you don’t have to keep it or even use it, cancel it. I know this advice sounds unnecessary, but it is. Handle it, and you will clear your mind for other, more productive things. This, too, takes time and grit.

Are you a free babysitter? Dogsitter? Do you love it? Cool! OR maybe you fell into it because you wanted to help, and the pandemic may have made it even necessary. But do you feel slightly used? Do you have a little resentment? You may want to reconsider. Is this really how you want to spend your time this year?

This is YOUR life. You better live it because no one else will…

This helps with anxiety and insecurity.

It feels so much better to de-clutter not just my utensil drawer, even though that was worth doing — but my life.

I found that as I eliminated any micro-aggressions (they were few, but still), I had improved communication. I have discovered that clearing the air deepens relationships. It’s like when you disagree with friends or family or significant other. If handled correctly, both sides feel better after it's over. There should be an increased understanding.

So in the last six months, I went through everything — people, bills, and situations that caused me to feel anxiety or insecurity. It took grit. But I grew as a person. I also increased my transparency because much of our problems evolve out of secrecy and intrigue. There’s nothing to hide, so there’s nothing to fear. And I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

Problems can be like weeds.

Like weeds, though, it may take more than just pulling lightly. You ever pulled up a weed and didn’t get the root? The problem’s still there.

That’s why it's so important to pull them when they’re small. The root comes out so much easier. Procrastinate, why don’t you! Wait another month, and you’ll need a shovel. That happened to me at my house in Houston. The weed was trying to take over my garage. We chopped it off the first time. It came back stronger and thicker! The next time we had to pull it out, it wasn’t a weed but a tree. Something was horrifying about it. Weeds are monsters.

Another time we went to a home in Dallas that was for sale…cheap. But it was obvious once we entered the kitchen. The middle of the floor was being invaded by roots from a tree in the yard, and they broke through the foundation! It was a terrible sight.

Weeds are monsters.

Sometimes they’re tricky. Pretty even. But do you know what else an out-of-control weed it will do? It will also kill healthy plants and trees nearby.

That’s how life is. If you let weeds overtake your life, you won’t be able to handle the good and the great things that are supposed to happen. You can’t enjoy wonderful things, like love, fun, and happiness, when they do occur.

So be like Marie Kondo. De-clutter your house if you want to. But don’t forget to de-clutter your life. Improve your daily living. You can do it.

And pluck those weeds.