Dangerous driving

Please Stay on the Wrong Side of the Road

Why do dumb Brits drive on the left?

I live in France where we drive on the same side as Americans, and pretty much 70% of the breathing planet.

The other 30% drive on the wrong side of the road — the LEFT. This is where I’m from.

Luckily, I’ve been driving in France so long now, I don’t have a problem.

Or so I thought.

The other day, half the road was blocked by some works, so I had to wait at traffic signals before going over to the LEFT, passing the works, then back to the RIGHT to continue my journey.

Normal stuff. Happens all the time. Except that day, I lost my mind.

When I got to the end of the works, and as both lanes were completely clear of traffic, I simply carried on.

Driving on the LEFT like I was back in bonnie old England.

Everybody must have seen the classic clip from Planes, Trains and Automobiles where goofballs Steve Martin and John Candy end up “On the wrong side of the road.”

In the end, they narrowly avoid a head-on collision with two trucks. With John Candy’s immortal line

“WOW, I mean, that was close!”

If you’ve never seen it, and you like comedy — which you do, as you’re reading a comedy site — it doesn’t get better than this.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have another driver telling me I was going the wrong way. It was only when I saw another car speeding towards me, that I thought, something’s not quite right here.

Am I in England?

NO, I’m in France. SHIT!

Luckily, the road was single-laned, so I swerved over, then gestured angrily at the car coming the other way as though it was his fault.

“Are you drunk!” I screamed.

It took me a few minutes to actually comprehend what I’d done. It wasn’t as if I’d just got off the boat, I’ve been driving here for years.

I’ve more of a problem when I return to the UK, and have to adapt back to driving on the LEFT.

Which got me wondering, why DO we drive on the left?

A History Lesson

I assumed it was down to British stubbornness. They just wanted to be different to the rest of the world.

But — believe it or not— there is actually some logic to it.

Before cars, we rode horses. And before guns, we had swords.

This meant we drove on the left, so drivers had their right hand free if they needed to defend themselves.

Ever tried slicing someone’s head off using your left hand. Try it, it’s hard. Unless you’re left-handed, of course. But seeing as 90% of the world’s population are right-handed, you can see why we tended to keep LEFT.

Think of the traditional medieval joust. If you’ve ever seen a re-enactment (go to England in summer, there are millions of them), they always joust on the left, never the right.

Therefore, before about 1700, everyone drove on the left. It was only when carts started being drawn by four or six horses that they required the driver to sit on the rear left-hand horse to control the others.

Furthermore, in order to see oncoming vehicles better, they kept to the right. So most countries changed.

Except Britain, and its colonies, who refused to change. Japan and Indonesia, being other notable exceptions.

Less Accidents?

It may be British stubbornness, but there may be another good reason for it.

It’s actually safer.

I used to love those American movies in which cool kids drive along with their LEFT arm dangling out the window holding a cigarette, while the RIGHT arm steers the car.

I never saw that in UK movies. Why?

Because we use our STRONG RIGHT arm to steer the vehicle, leaving our WEAK LEFT arm to change gears.

Apparently it’s safer, as you’re more in control of your vehicle. Unless, that is, you’re using your left hand to do “something” else…

Although to be honest, if you’re driving along the wrong side of the road with a car speeding towards you, having a firm grip on the steering wheel, or “whatever”, isn’t going to save you. I can vouch for that.

So remember.

KEEP RIGHT! (or is it LEFT?)

Thanks for reading. For more history: