YOUR MENTAL WELLBEING MATTERS

Please Listen. It Helps More Than You Realise

There is a time to speak and a time to be silent

When I fall, fast and hard, lying broken at the bottom of the pit. I will call out for help, yes I will.

Will you, my friend, reach out, grasp my hand and roughly pull me out? Would you ignore my cry of pain. Deafened by a desire to help, breaking more bones — causing more hurt.

As I lay by the side of the road You cradled my head, and listened as the paramedics say I may never walk again. My bones unrepairable, jarred, as you helped.

Your help hurts

When you hear a cry for help, instead of pulling; respond “I hear you.” Rather than forcing your way into a jumbled up emotionally fragile soul Sit beside me and hear my pain. – Don’t judge me and tell me how lucky I was, that the pit was shallow – Don’t remind me of how you got out of a deeper pit – Don’t recite motivational soundbytes

Can’t you sit with me?

Stay with me in the pit. Sit with me in silence, wait until I am ready to be helped. ( I am a little winded. I need a moment of peace and quiet before I try again) Please don’t break my bones to get me out.

Stop talking

You want to help, but you do not hear. I literally shout “stop” Scream “stop”

Deafened to my cry for help

You are too busy talking, advising Sending quotes, sending videos, sending solutions. But that’s helpful, isn’t it?

It is logical. It is helpful. It is what friends are for.

But I find nothing new in what you say. I read Psychologies also. I receive the‘WhatsApp’ messages, I get the ‘Now This’ videos. If you cannot sit with my pain, don’t cover it with your words.

Inwardly, I scream, outwardly I smile. I say the things you want to hear I assure you I would try harder. I say, “I am OK.” Relieved, your barrage stops. I get a hug, You are happy — you helped.

Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll fall again

If I do, I may lie silent in the midst of passing help. Too afraid to cry out, lest you come by again. (I still hurt from yesterday) I’ll gather some strength to climb out myself. It may take a while, but I’ll succeed.

But that’s not want I want!

I want you, my friend to be there with me. To stay silent as I describe my woes. I’d like you to be patient. Please do not judge me. I may not have your strength; I need a little more time. I promise I’ll be okay. Just listen, it helps more than you’ll ever know.

[Authors Note: Felt a little low recently, and spoke to a friend. I needed a short period to release pain, but they jumped over my words with advice, encouragement, stories. The additional pain it brought was real.]

Postscript: May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Be Kind.

Keno is on a mission to build a world of hope through words. Her writing is heavily influenced by her Nigerian background and Christian perspectives. She is working on her first full-length novel, and is the founder of Tiny Life Moments.

If you enjoyed this, you may like my cry for Release.