New Publication

PITFALL — Filling in the Gaps

A new publication for writing that doesn’t fit

So you’ve finished a piece.

It could be memoir, it could be comedy, it could be tragedy, it could be fiction. It could be nothing.

So you scroll through your list of publications, but it doesn’t fit into any of them. You’re about to self-publish, when you remember PITFALL.

Phew!

Pitfall — Now Open!

Pitfall is for all those pieces that don’t fit in anywhere. Pieces that fall in between the gaps. Those pieces you don’t know what to do with.

But!

We’re not looking for junk here. Don’t dig out some shit and send it in. Don’t go rooting around in your drafts folder for a listicle.

We won’t publish a listicle, and I won’t publish poetry, for the simple reason that I can’t distinguish a bad poem from a good one. I’m not the person for that — others are much better!

But anything else, I’ll have a look at. As long as it’s original and not published. Short story; comedy; parody; science; music; literature; nature; politics; environment; addiction, satire; fine art. Or whatever floats your paddle boat.

BUT

• It MUST be not published else where on Medium.
• Make it your best!
• Give us something new!
• Amaze me, and the other editors!

Who are the other editors?

As yet, there aren’t any.

BUT I’ll be looking.

I live in France, so I’m 700 hours in front of California, and about eight years behind Australia. So I might need some assistance to fill in the time gaps.

What payment can I expect?

You know the deal.

What don’t we want?

OK, let’s not fuck about.

• If there’s a vague sniff that you’re selling something, other than your soul, it’s gone.
• If there’s a stench that it’s written by a robot, it’s gone.
• If it supports racism, fascism, or hate, it’s gone.
• If it’s about mindless celebrity, without being satire, it’s gone.
• That’s it!

Formatting

• MUST include a kicker, subtitle and title. Like below.

Include photo credits, and, if possible, keep images to around 640 × 440 size (or ratios thereof) like this:

I don’t like photos like this.

This is a 640 × 960 pixel photo, and looks shit on a laptop, tablet or pc, and only really works on a mobile. If you want to use this photo, crop it to 640 × 450. Like so.

BETTER!

So that’s it.

If you want to write for Pitfall — and naturally if you’re reading this, I bet you can’t wait to get stuck in— then write something WITTY in the comments box, and I’ll decide whether to add you or not. Which I will, unless you’re selling shit I don’t like.

And follow it — if you can be bothered.

NOTE: I live and work in France, and use Central European Time, hence I won’t respond between the hours of 2000–0900 CET.

Some folk who might be interested — spread the word, as I can’t be bothered to add any more.

Thanks!