Personal Reflection
If You’re 30 or Older You’ll Want to Read This
There’s been a lot of anticipation for the big 3–0.
I tend to find myself in a state of reflection on birthdays. This one is thought to be a big milestone.
There’s a lot of subconscious programming from society that has us thinking we should have accomplished certain things at this age.
Is there some validity to this?
Nah. That’s all a load of bullshit.
It’s Another Day
30 years old may be a milestone of relevance. An age of numerical significance. Sure.
Nonetheless, if you remove all that, it’s just another day. Your 30th birthday is no big deal unless you make it to be. By making it a big deal you create these unrealistic expectations that will only lead you to disappointment on your birthday.
I’m just chilling today (this was written on September 30). I don’t have any big plans. I’m focusing on doing the simple things I like. So far, I have gone to the gym, meditated, and read my book. I’m writing this article right now and will be going to play disc golf with a friend in a little bit. I’ll probably make some music later.
Overall, I want to be grateful I made it this far, I’m very blessed to be alive. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate your birthday. I just decided to keep it simple today, focus on the things I enjoy, and have zero expectations.
No One Has It Figured Out
The realization that nobody has it figured out hit pretty strong for me last year on my 29th birthday. I had moved out to Michigan all alone early that year and found myself amid light chaos. I was working through a lot of life stuff.
Today at 30, I’ve made some significant progress since then. Yet, I’m still figuring it out. I still have things to work on. But I’m not stagnant, I wasn’t a year ago and that’s what’s important.
The thing is even people who have met all the societal standards don’t have it figured out.
You could be turning 30 with a great career, a house, a wife, and a kid and still have no fucking clue what you’re doing. All the boxes are checked according to society’s standards, does that suddenly mean you’re supposed to be happy?
I’ve never had this conversation with anyone who has all these things. But I’d be willing to bet they’re not completely content. I bet they’re still learning. I bet they still have issues and they’re still figuring it out.
Fuck societal standards. They just lead you to comparisons, disappointment, and unrealistic expectations. There’s no correct timeline you have to follow. You create your own.
You’re exactly where you need to be. Keep going.
Self-Awareness Going Up
Over the years I’ve grown to appreciate my independence. I’ve worn it like a badge of honor. I understand that my path is unique and this is what I choose.
My understanding of this concept is inspired by page 16 in “Warrior of The Light” by Paulo Coelho:
On some nights, he has nowhere to sleep, on others, he suffers from insomnia. “That’s just how it is,” thinks the Warrior. “I was the one who chose to walk this path.”
In these words lies all his power: He chose the path along which he is walking and so he has no complaints.
I’m happy that I think for myself and life live to the beat of my own drum. It comes with sacrifices of course. Building a sense of self-awareness started at a younger age than most for me.
As I continue to get older it has become more and more prevalent. It’s something I have to continually remind myself of, especially in social situations.
I tend to have different values and priorities than the majority of people. And that’s okay. What matters most is knowing what your priorities are and acting on them. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
I’m wired a certain way, that’s what allows me to experience life the way I do. As corny and cliche as it may sound, it’s what makes me who I am. I’m perfectly imperfect.
Do What Makes You Happy
Doing what makes you happy is all that matters. I fell in love with music at 19 years old and started following my dream.
As I’ve grown up and developed, I’ve dealt with a lot of psychological resistance to pursuing music to the extent that I have. This is because it’s so difficult to “make it” in the music industry. As I’ve grown older my intentions have shifted for that.
The juice isn’t worth the squeeze as some say. And I feel like that’s true for my situation. It’s not worth sacrificing all of my money building a business model to succeed in an industry that’s mostly subjective and political. That only takes away from the time I can spend on making music. It also will leave me broke and my energy depleted. I don’t have a team around me. Just me, myself, and I for everything I do.
I love creating art and playing shows. I will keep doing that. If I can remove the external expectations and focus on the love of it, that’s all that matters. I would have quit years ago if I didn’t love it.
The same goes for my writing journey on Medium. This is a newer passion that I started dipping my toes into in December of 2022. Writing makes me happy. Sharing my ideas and connecting with people through this platform has been great. I’ve seen a lot of growth, and the only investment is my time to write. I see that as time well spent.
These are the 2 things that make me happy. Do what makes you happy.
It’s Not About Me
This article is a reflection on turning 30 and one important thing I’ve noticed each year I get older is it’s not about me at all. We’re all in this together.
Removing my ego and asking myself what the little things I can do to make the world a better place is an incredible mindset shift. It helps to settle things into perspective.
What can I do to help? Whether it be holding the door open for an elderly person, greeting people I meet with a positive attitude, or making someone laugh.
It’s all energy. It gets distributed throughout the universe. I’ll do my best to channel the positive energy and share it with people around me. Through whatever means it calls for. By doing that, I’m serving a purpose on this planet. It comes back full circle and makes you feel fulfilled when you act out of love for others.
This is 30, I guess...
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