Perfectionism Is Ruining My Retirement

If I don’t chill out soon, then I may as well go back to work and make a few bucks

I take my retirement way too seriously, as if it’s a job that I need to perform perfectly.

For example, aren’t hobbies supposed to be fun? That’s what I’ve heard anyhow. That concept may apply to most people but not to myself.

My main two hobbies are writing and singing. Do I enjoy writing? No. It’s often akin to self-torture. How many freaking times am I going to rewrite the same sentence trying to find the perfect words? How is it possible it takes me a week or two to write one 5–7 minute article. Most people couldn’t stretch it out that long if they tried. For me, it comes naturally.

I know I’m a damn good writer. But that’s not good enough for me. I need to be Ernest Hemingway’s little brother, Art. Or so it seems.

There’s a voice in my head that knows that’s BS — that all that matters is I find a topic to write about that would appeal to a reasonable number of people, and I write about it well enough that it’s a smooth read and I get my point across.

Unfortunately, I have this other voice in my head that rules the proverbial roost. That is the voice of perfectionism (boo, hiss). It will settle for nothing less than my writing the perfect article, despite that being an unattainable goal and all the pleasure it removes from the process of writing.

Well, pay close attention because I have a proclamation to make. (Is that the sound of trumpets I hear blaring in the background ?)

Hear ye, Hear ye. Starting with this article, perfectionism is out the door. Goodbye and good riddance. Here’s to our never meeting up again.

I swear upon my mother and father’s grave that I will only review and edit this article once after writing it. (I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth the effort)

Bravo so far, Art, for setting the intention. You sure as hell sound committed to keeping to your word.

Now onto my second hobby — singing. I’ll start with a loaded question — karaoke, isn’t that a prime example of an activity that is supposed to be nothing but pure fun?

For most people — yep. For me, nope. There was supposed to be karaoke by the pool last night in my retirement community, but it was rained out and rescheduled for next week.

I cannot tell you how many times I practiced singing the song “The Impossible Dream” from Man of LaMancha. So many times, I’d like to shoot myself in the head. That is if my wife doesn’t shoot me first for the insufferable amount of times she had to hear it as background music to whatever she was doing at the time.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with some practice — my singing instructor most definitely encourages it. Unfortunately, I don’t know when to stop. I was dying to nail the song, with hopes and visions of getting a standing ovation from the hundred or so folks sitting in the audience last night.

Exactly, what am I smoking!

For half of them, it’s a struggle just to get up and out of their chairs. Once the show begins, they’re settled in for the rest of the performance, so nix the throngs of folks giving me a standing ovation — that simply ain’t happening.

The other half of the residents of my retirement community, if they’re not hearing impaired (a common infirmity of old age), then they’re probably chatting away with other folks sitting at their table, barely paying attention to who’s up there at the mike, that is, until their good friends get up to sing.

I highly doubt there are any talent scouts from The Voice in the audience looking to line up contestants for the 2021–2022 season.

Yet, I have to sing the song as well as it was sung in the original cast recording. If I could, I’d have a meter that could register the applause volume so I could get a good handle on how well received my performance was. Not very different from checking every day how many claps I receive for each and every article I write for Medium.

Why I Wrote This Article

I’m aware it’s a Medium faux pas, but I gotta admit the first reason that comes to my mind is all about me — which was to prove to myself I’m capable of writing an article far more quickly than I typically do.

Mission accomplished on that front. It took me about 8 hours to complete this article. That may not sound very impressive to you, but it’s oodles better than the 20+ hours it typically takes me.

The second reason I wrote it is all about you — to encourage you to have a blast during your retirement years, to do your best not to let perfectionism diminish your joy.

Now that you’re retired, it’s time to play once again as you did when you were a child. To devote as much time as possible engaged in those activities that give you pleasure. If not now, then when. I hate to say it, but retirement is the final phase of our lives.

If you find there’s an activity you once loved doing, but recently it’s feeling at times like an unpleasant job, ask yourself why that may be. Could it be perfectionism that’s soaking the pleasure out of it?

If so, bravo to you for figuring that out. Do your best to change your attitude, to throw perfectionism out the window. There’s nothing wrong with taking your hobbies seriously, with doing your best to become as skilled at them as possible. But temper it with a backdrop of accepting “good enough.” If you’re a writer, learn when it’s time to move on to the next article.

I really, really hope you found this article helpful and that you got at least a chuckle or two out of reading it. If you’re a fellow writer, feel free to send me a link to any “good enough” articles of yours that you would like me to read. It will be my pleasure.

Here’s a link to a related article I wrote a few months back, on living a joyful life, free of the impact of perfectionism.