WRITING CHALLENGE | KNOW THYSELF HEAL THYSELF

Peeling Away Who I’m Not Reveals Who I Am — An Incredible Being of Light

Let me get over myself and realize this is at heart who we all are

One of the ways to know who we are is to also know what and who we’re not. ~Terry Cole Whittaker

Having read Ravyne’s prompt late one night, not too much wonder that I woke up the next day with India Aire’s song I am Light playing in my head.

A little bit of wonder is in order because the song started playing before I was fully awake, such that I woke up right in the middle of it.

It’s a wonderful song about knowing ourselves at our core as beings of Light. In it, India seems to respond to Ravyne’s prompt and/or Terri’s quote because, in her verses, she lists all the things ‘she is not.’

In no particular order, India is not the things her family did or the voices in her head. And she certainly is not the pieces of brokenness she feels inside.

Nor is she the mistakes she may have made or things that caused her pain. And she’s certainly not the pieces of any dreams she left behind. She’s also not the color of her skin or eyes, her age (or her rage, if any.)

She and her soul are all Light.

Can I say me too? Or I’ll have what she’s having?

This way of looking at the question helps me let go of limiting ideas about who I am. Usually from family or societal messages.

You know the ones: too old, too fat, too disorganized, too far to the left, too sensitive, too unfocused, too scattered, too indecisive, too fickle, too intense, too frivolous, too touchy-feely, too woo-woo, and way too serious.

I’m letting those go right now.

There are lots of other ways I could identify who I am.

I could be a 68-year-old liberal white woman who grew up in the military and now lives in Oakland, California. I could be a retired Occupational Therapy Aide who now writes full-time thanks to a generous pension.

I could be an overcommitted Certified Prayer Chaplain at a new thought church that doesn’t have enough volunteers at the moment. I could also be the head of the worship team, Vice President of the Board of Directors, and facilitator of our Unlearning Racism Book Study Group.

I could be a daughter of a 92-year-old mom, sister of a busy veterinarian, aunt to two nieces, and one grandniece with a grandnephew on the way. From the niece, not the grandniece who’s not yet three.

I could be a sex and love addict. Or better yet, a recovering sex and love addict. Even better, a grateful recovering sex and love addict.

I could be a Zumba dancer, Duddles the clown, Zanni the fumble-bumbling Commedia character I so love, or a fairly funny funny girl. I could be a hilarious humorist or even a slightly sadistic and/or sick satirist.

But all of this pales when held up to the Light.

And yet, and yet, and yet, I am not done being these things. Suffice it to say, they are fascinating facets of me but not all of my heart and soul.

For that, I’m turning to my new practice, early morning authentic writing.

AWE–The Authentic Writing Experience came to me from a workshop I took with author~teacher, Mike Dooley and speaker~coach, Michael Sandler.

What I expected to be timed free-writing on a variety of topics turned out to be a very specific spiritual practice. This very specific practice involves invoking and greeting our spirit guides or angels, and then asking them three questions:

1. What do I NEED to know today?
2. Who am I? (You can change this question AFTER the first two weeks.)
3. What’s my SMP (or Single-Minded Purpose)?

See number two? Now you know where I’m going with this.

Given I’m an avid Soul Writer and Inner listener, I’m all about connecting with guides and Higher Powers and intuiting their messages via writing.

What I wasn’t–and that’s past tense–all about was rolling out of bed before fully awake to do this listening/writing before and without caffeine.

But that makes it more authentic.

In that space, before I’m fully awake, when I’m drowsy and drifting, I’m in alpha or better yet theta brain wave states. Before my logical analytical neo cortex fully wakes up and engages. Where the veil is thinner and messages flow readily.

Now that I’ve done it for two weeks, I’m hooked.

Because the unconditional love pouring on me from my guide who identifies as She Who Shouts or Whispers, Depending…wakes me up to who I am as that being of Light before I start my day. That makes a huge difference. And has cut my stress way, way down.

Question number one answers I get are about how great a job I’m doing and how I get to trust my Higher Power to handle the difficult people in my life. It’s not my job to fix them, which is not even possible. My focus needs to be on me. Each week its been some variation of that theme in response to different issues.

With Her help, I’m learning to relax, trust, and let go. I’m breathing deeper, releasing worry, and getting more done. That quantity begets quality sans these disempowering distractions. I just love this.

Back to the topic at hand, question two.

Here’s some of what She Who’s been telling me I am (in no particular order):

A being of delight, de love, and de laughter. A healing presence, a wise one. A treasure, so take excellent care of myself.

A poet of possibilities. A dancer diving into the deepest depths bringing light and returning with insight. A blessing to all who know me.

Held, healed, and precious. A keeper of the dream. Word whisperer, full of awe and wonderment. Encourager extraordinaire, so handle with care.

A storyteller — funny, dramatic, full of passion and pathos. A Mistress of Meaningful Melancholy. Whimsical, mystical, maniacal, and all kinds of good stuff.

Brilliant. ahem.

A beacon of light. A bastion of peace. A fount of wisdom. A blessing to the world.

Oh, and humble. Did I say, humble to a fault?

Just kidding, but it feels kinda pretentious sharing this. Even though it’s one of those if it’s true for me it’s also true for you kind of truths.

Imposture sin-dome be damned. This is who I am!

Thanks for listening. Thanks for witnessing.

Now it’s your turn: Spyder, Diana C., jules, Carlo Zeno, Liza Carver, Marla Bishop, Alison Acheson, Filza Chaudhry, Ryan Frawley, Dave Karpowicz, Art Bram, Nancy Blackman, Margie Pearl, Debbie Walker, Bebe Nicholson.

Thank you, Ravyne Hawke, for this month’s courageous challenge!

Marilyn Flower’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Follow her Sacred Foolishness and Stay in touch!