Peanut Butter Cookies
She’s making peanut butter cookies in the night time, criss-cross on the top with a fork, put them in the oven.
Peanut butter cookies close to midnight, last bit of peace before her sister comes home from work at the facility, eight, twelve, sixteen hour days bleed into nights and it’s always cold here, and the ground is always white. Peanut butter cookies in the night, save the rest of the dough for another time, sun instead of moonlight.
Sister stumbles through the door, never touched a drink, never smoked in her life but exhaustion is intoxicating. Two pound boots by the doorframe. About to fall asleep hearing children’s voices yelling her name.
Morning comes and sister’s up first, normal Saturday, work in the afternoon, always scheduled on the Sabbath day, and she opens up the refrigerator door and sees peanut butter cookies, still tired, craving something sweet, so she takes one, first thing that she eats.
Little one rubs her eyes, knowing that her older sister’s up already, takes a minute waiting for her blurry vision to steady, walks into the kitchen not ready for what’s about to happen, what’s about to happen, what’s about to happen.
Sister never touched a drink, never smoked in her life but there’s weed hidden in the cookies, she already took a bite, it’s a little too late but she shares the information with her sister anyway. Then she eats one too, it’s the morning on a Saturday, something that she doesn’t know until it’s too late.
She’s the first on the ground, spasms running through her, doesn’t see but she knows that in a minute it’ll hit her sister too, both feeling like they might die. Peanut butter cookies aren’t supposed to make you cry. Sister’s still got work in a couple hours. Wants to get up off the floor but every ounce of power that was in her limbs is gone now. Neither one of them can get up off the ground.
God’s grace brings the two of them to Sunday morning, older sister’s off to work, mom is in the house sleeping, plenty more peanut butter cookies that nobody’s touching.
Sister stumbles through the door shy of seventeen hours later, too many shifts this week but that’s the cost of paper. “It was fentanyl,” she says, “your man must have laced it.” Somebody at work said he was trying to erase her. Never hit her but that never meant there wasn’t danger. Now her sister’s saying that unless he’s looking for a permanent good night, he can’t come over. A dealer from the sticks, she says he’s hurt by his father. Lacing weed somewhere that you can see the stars at night, so full of anger that he’s trying to kill somebody’s daughter.
Somehow, she survived. Somehow, she’s still alive. No more peanut butter cookies in the night time.






