FICTION

Payback Time

Runnin’ from a devil in a blue dress

Always have your go-bag packed and ready. A change of underwear, a pair of jeans, a couple of pairs of socks, two black polo shirts, a loaded gun with extra ammo, a passport or two, a wad of cash, and a couple of grenades and flashbangs. Never forget the grenades. They could save your life. They did that night.

It was around 2 am, and I’d just kicked Fanny out after we’d finished our fun. She always wants to stay the night, but I don’t want to see any midnight beauty at eight in the morning. I’m no looker, either, and it’s hard enough to face my mug in the mirror, hungover. It’s a good thing she only lives down the hall, so I didn’t have to give her cab fare. Too bad it’s a bad thing when she runs into other dames that have been visiting. Fanny can be possessive and violent. But that makes her fun in the sack. As my momma used to say, there’s always good and bad in any situation.

Damn, my phone’s ringing.

Thought I had it on silent. They’ll call back in the morning or leave a voicemail if it’s important.

Who fucking calls anymore, anyway? Old people, that’s who. Them, and bill collectors. Don’t need either of them in my life.

Just me, a bottle of whiskey, and a woman. That’s all I need. Oh, and the occasional deadbeat to lean on. I need to work sometimes. Collections ain’t easy, but it is fun. Break some heads, make some coin.

Why is that stupid phone ringing again? Out of curiosity, I look, and it’s Velma. Why is she calling me now? Velma knows what I’m up to at this time of night, and nobody needs their legs broke after midnight.

I pick up the phone, “What’s up, sweetie?”

“Jake, you gotta get out of there. You gotta run. Shit’s going down, and it’s going down fast!” I hear a shot and the sound of a crash. The line’s still open. I hear the phone being picked up, and some breathing on the other end.

“Jake? Jake, sweetie. Long time. We have a score to settle now, don’t we? Best run now, cause I’m coming for you.”

I knew that voice.

It was like an echo from the grave.

It had to be an echo from the grave. I had pumped a hollow point into her worthless black heart five years ago.

Yes, five years ago.

Five years ago tonight…

I wasn’t always a thug, collecting money for some low-life bookie. I wasn’t always a bent-nosed goon. This wasn’t the life I had dreamt of. It wasn’t what I had expected after graduating from the academy. At one time, I had a detective’s shield and was a proper officer of the law. I was a detective, even. A church-going man. A family man. On the fast track to the chief of detectives. Nothing could stop my dreams.

And then I met her, and, of course, it all changed.

The night that I had ended her miserable existence, or so I thought, was five years ago. The trouble had started a few weeks earlier when I first met her.

It was the end of the shift, and me and a few of the boys were heading over to Fritzie’s for a few pints. Fritzie’s was a little Irish pub, across from the precinct, that knew which side of the toast the butter was on. They treated us, boys, in blue good, with cheap beers and free shots. It was a classy enough joint that the badge bunnies had all their teeth, too. But a gummer can be fun, too, when push comes to shove.

Me and Cool Lou — my partner — went up to the bar and got the pints for the table. The barkeep, Max, poured us both a shot of Jack, which we downed. “Sláinte,” we toast and down the fuckers fast. Whiskey always burnt like a bitch, but I kept drinking it. A nice cold vodka was more my taste, learned from drinking with the Ruskies sailors back I when I worked the docks for my old man.

“Well, that’s rude,” the beautiful girl at the bar says.

“What the fuck’s rude?” Cool Lou slurs. He’s already five sheets, and he don’t take shit from nobody. Not even dames with a body to die for.

“Not offering a girl a drink, fuckhead. Didn’t your momma stop sucking sailor dick long enough to teach you manners?”

Stepping between them, I see an opportunity arise. “Please excuse my friend, ma’am. Would you care for a drink with us? Well, with me, because obviously, this animal is too stupid to appreciate a lady when he sees one.” I slap Cool Lou on the back. “You can take the beers over to the boys, can’t you? I’m going to look after this pretty lady. No need to wait up, ma.”

Cool Lou shoots me a dirty look, but grabs the beers and heads back to the other guys. They look over and laugh. Jealous much, boys?

I offer her a drink, and she says, “Belvedere, neat, ice cold,” and I almost cream my jeans. I say, “Max, make it two,” as I fall head over heels in love.

The romance was fast and furious. She was like a drug to me, so intoxicating I lost all my sense. It escalated quickly, with me leaving my wife and children within a couple of weeks of meeting her. We moved in together, in a small apartment in the Bowery. My job was history. You can’t run with the devil if you’ve got a badge. It was a carnival of sex and drugs. I experienced things I had never even dreamt of before. Life was my oyster, and she was my pearl. My beautiful pearl.

Life was fast and filled with adventure, with her in my bed. We partied hard, but without a steady income, we soon fell to the wrong side of the law. The ex-copper in me, with some help from my old partner, knew where to find easy scores. Ripping off dealers. Muscling pimps. Running girls. Protecting bookies. We did it all, and when I couldn’t handle the muscle, I’d call in Cool Lou and the boys to help. They loved getting blood on their badges for their old pal, as long as they got a taste, too.

We took a cut from every game at the table, and we were greedy about it. We had to have everything, and our greed got noticed by the big guys. They would let an ex-cop have some fun, especially when he had a crew behind him, but we were cutting into their profit too much. So, that’s where it all went to shit. And it went to shit fast.

Greed is one of the seven deadly sins, or so I think I remember from my church days. Those are all a haze, now. And the good lord almighty smote us for our sins. He went and smote us good.

Not wanting to get their hands dirty, the big guys found a way that I never saw coming. They knew that offing a cop by their boys, even an ex-cop, was a dangerous move, so they enlisted some help from an unexpected source — my former partner and the rest of the boys in blue. You can’t trust a cop, not even a bought and paid-for one.

That night started out like all the rest. A few grams of coke, a bottle of Dom, and a few hours of drug-enhanced fucking.

“Babe, we’re outta booze. I’m gonna head to the bodega and grab some,” I say as I pull on my jeans.

“Hun, I forgot. We’ve got to meet your guys tonight. They’ve heard of a big shipment coming in,” she says, as she heads to the shower. “Lou phoned earlier when you were out.”

“OK, babe. Get your shower done, and we’ll meet u with the boys.”

I hear the show run, and I know she’ll she takes her usual hour and a half in the bathroom, getting all prettied up. I grab a line of coke and settle down to wait. There’s plenty of time before we head over to the abandoned warehouse by the docks. That’s where we stash all the goods and meet up with the boys.

When she’s finally ready, we take the subway. The streets are just too packed to get anywhere fast. Besides, I prefer the subway, since I can feel the city’s heartbeat, and I know what it’s feeling. Tonight, it was feeling anxious. A skin-crawling, tingling feeling, like a junkie that’s trying to kick it. I didn’t know why, but the city was feeling wrong. Feeling sick. I put it down to the combo of bubbly and too much snow. Ignoring danger signals wasn’t my style, but sometimes you let your guard down. Sometimes you trust the wrong things. I know now to only trust my instincts, but that was then.

We grab a taxi from the subway to the docks and then walk the five minutes to the warehouse. It’s dark and deserted — not the double D’s that every guy wants, but the ones we need tonight. I unlock the door and open it. The darkness envelops us, so I shine my flashlight around, just in case. You can never be too careful. Nothing appears out of place. There’s a dim light back in the office, so we know the guys have already made it here and are waiting.

Time to find out what’s up. We could use a big score. Our coke’s running low, and the cash reserves are a little depleted. I probably couldn’t buy a blowjob from a toothless hag with the cash we had left. The streets had dried up the last week or so.

We walk into the room, where Cool Lou and his new partner are waiting. Lou is sitting in my chair, with his feet up. He’s even smokin’ a big cigar, and he knows I don’t allow smoking.

“Hey, what’s up?” I walk over and grab the cigar. “None of this shit here! You know that, fool.”

Lou looks at me with a big, shit-eating grin, and comes out of the chair swinging. “Enough tellin’ me what to do, fucker. I ain’t your lap dog no more.” For a big guy, Lou’s quick and mean. He catches me off-guard. One to the gut doubles me over, knocking my breath away. The next, a big right hand, with his infamous brass knucks as backup, sends me to la-la land.

When I wake, groggy as hell, Lou and his goon are holding me up, and she’s standing there laughing. My pearl! Laughing at me. “Thought that you were the one in charge, did you? No, the boys downtown are. And they didn’t like us muscling in on their cash flow. They gave me a choice. Either learn to swim with cement shoes, or take care of you.”

This must be a dream. I’m still knocked out. How could they betray me, like this? “No, you wouldn’t. You couldn’t.”

“We had some laughs, hun, and a lot of fun. But if it’s between your sweet dick and my life, I’ll always choose life.” She grabs Lou’s dick through his cheap trousers and gives it a shake. “There’s always another dick to ride, just around the corner. There’s only one life to live.”

I can’t believe. I won’t believe. “But, babe, I love you.”

“Fuckin’ pathetic,” was all she had to say.

That bitch. My adrenaline kicks in, and I go from zero to hero in one second flat. I’m able to shake Cool Lou and the other fucker off me while grabbing the spare piece I know Lou carries at his ankle. I knock Lou down with the butt of the gun to his forehead and give sonny-boy a good knee to the nuts. It doubles him over, forcing him to puke his guts out.

I look her straight in the eyes, with my gun leveled. Never flinching, I whisper, “Goodby, my darling,” and pull the trigger. She drops to the floor, and I turn to the puking pig. Walkin’ up behind him, I give him a double tap while he spills his guts on the concrete.

Lou is looking at me, terror in his eyes and piss in his pants. I point the gun at him but say, “Lou, for old time’s sake, you get a pass. Clean this shit up, like I know you can. Blame the bitch if you have to. I’m outta this shit hole forever. Let the boys downtown know there ain’t no hard feelin’s. Business is business.”

Nobody follows, so I dump the piece in the river and get my ass out of Dodge. There’s no more reason for me to be here.

That’s the last I ever saw of her, lying in a puddle of her own blood. Its memory is all the warmth that I have left in me now.

Never trust friends or lovers. They’ll both fuck you over good.

If that whore is still alive and she knows where I am, I’d better get the fuck out of Dodge. And fast!

Without a moment to lose, I grab my go-bag, give it a quick check, and out the window onto the fire escape. can’t stop to view the scenery. Gotta hit the road, and fast. I have a safe house set up in the hills, ready for a day like this. You hope a day like this never comes, but they always do.

Fuck, they always do.

Down the fire escape, and into my stinkin’ Lincoln. It’s an old piece of junk — from the outside — but I’ve got a 454 big-block Hemi inside and armor plating. Plus, it’s tricked out with everything a doomsdayer prepper would need, from GPS to IEDs. My go bag is only for the necessities. The car is for a firefight. My baby’ll kick the Batmobile’s ass any day.

Tossing my go bag in the back seat, I jump in and crank the Thorogood cassette in the player — Bad to the Bone — to get the adrenaline under control, and then I turn the key. She roars to life, and I burn some rubber squealing out of there as fast as I can.

Traffic is light on the back streets, and I’m able to make good time getting to the edge of town. The open road is where I’m most comfortable, so I relax some. I toss my phone out the window so nobody can track me. The Interstate is empty, so I floor it. The G’s pull me backward, and there’s a big shit-eating grin on my face. Fast cars, fast women, and cheap booze — the best things in life.

Only forty-five minutes to the cabin.

I see the smoke and flames from miles away. It can’t be my place, I keep telling myself. But I know it is. With the way it’s been going, somebody’s torched my place. And I know exactly who. It’s payback time.

Knowing my wheels are next to indestructible, I gunner wide open on the back roads. Just for kicks, I pop Ride of the Valkyries into the deck and pretend that I’m on a chopper in Nam with Colonel Kilgore, about to take the beach.

Charlie don’t surf!

I roar into the clearing in the woods, where my cabin used to be. All that remains is the burning frame, with flames reaching to the sky. The smoke is billowing and flames are dancing, keeping time for the music in my head.

Knowing she will still be here, most likely in the shadows, I spin the steering wheel hard and tramp on the brakes, Rockfording my way back towards the road.

As I’m about to drop gears and blast out of there, I see her. I see her standing in the bed of her pickup truck, with quad mounted Ma Deuces, just like the famed “Kraut-Mower”, on the top of her half-ton, loaded for bear. Or, more appropriately, loaded for me and my poor Lincoln.

With a rapid burst, despite my best Fast and Furious driving, the four M2 Browning 50 cal tore into my baby, knocking her ass over tits before I could even react. Equipped with explosive projectiles, and firing at over 500 rounds per minute, I was lucky to drag my ass out of the Lincoln before she pulverized it.

Crawling out of the rubble with only my go-bag, I headed straight into the brush. The advantage was mine, since I knew these woods, having grown up here. I knew the best spots to ambush, the best spots to defend, the best spots to hide.

First rule, get to safety. Then regroup. My childhood playground, a maze of caves, had a few entrances nearby, but my favorite was a skylight just meters away, hidden behind some fallen boulders. I race to that entrance, knowing that hesitation would seal my fate. I climb the boulders, and then drop through the skylight, into the cave.

It’s a quick drop, only about ten feet, so I tuck and roll, and then get my ass moving. There isn’t much time, but I have a command post set up down here. It’s not as extensive as the cabin, but it at least has an M16 and plenty of ammo available.

As I scramble towards the cavern pathway, she jumps down the skylight. Fuck, I didn’t see that coming. Laughing, she says, “Bet you didn’t see that coming. Don’t you think I would have cased the joint out before coming? You’re such an idiot! Always have been. But soon you’ll be another dead idiot.”

And then she laughed. How I used to love watching her laugh, the smile going from ear to ear, and her titties bouncing like crazy. But now’s not the time to think about those titties. I wanted to ask her so many questions? Why she betrayed me? How she survived? How she found out about everything. But I don’t care. Doesn’t matter. Gotta get to my stash, and then we’ll see.

I take off running, hoping that she hadn’t been as thorough as she bragged. You can quickly get lost in this maze of tunnels if you don’t know your way. I can hear her behind me, but I’m able to put some space between us pretty quickly.

“You can run, but you can’t hide,” she yells down the tunnel. “I know where you’re going, so run, little rabbit, run. I’m a-comin' and hell’s a-comin' with me.” Her laugh has lost its sexiness and now rings a little wacko to me. I guess everybody has the devil in them, sometimes.

A few more branches and I’ll be there. My goal is a small cavern, with only two obvious entrances, side by side, where I’ve stashed my guns and ammo. If she’s already been there, they’re probably booby-trapped or decommissioned. My bet is on decommissioned — she wants to do the wet work in person. Nothing quick, and no booby traps.

Winded, I make it to my command post with the ammo stash. With some luck, she didn’t find the sinkholes in the floor, underneath the rough platform I had built to keep the stash dry. This might give me the element of surprise that I need. I slipped into the one farthest out of sight. It was like sitting in a foxhole, waiting for some action.

My wait wasn’t long, but it was rewarding. She had selected her path wisely, being able to use a formation of fallen rocks to shield herself behind.

“Just give up. I’ll kill you quickly, no muss, no fuss.” With that, she threw a smoke bomb into the cavern. That was unexpected. She’d really upped her game since the last time that I’d killed her. I could make out her form, crouching and moving in a zigzag pattern through the smoke.

Now was the time for her to die, for real.

I reached into my go-bag, pulled out my grenades, and tossed them. She wasn’t expecting grenades. With a startled look, she tried to get behind an outcropping of rock.

The grenades exploded with a loud bang. The cave tunnels reverberated with the sound, knocking me back into the sinkhole that I had crept out of. When the dust cleared, I found her in the center of the cavern, buried under a pile of rocks.

I climb out of the hole and walk over to her, stumbling through the debris. She looks up at me in shock as I pull the Glock out of my go-bag. “Bet you didn’t see that coming,” I say as I pump the whole clip in between her beady little eyes. This time, I made sure she was good and dead. No coming back for another try.

Texans say “Remember the Alamo.” I say “Fuck the Texans. Remember the grenades.”

Rocky Shores is a lean, mean, sex machine, with a taste for the fast life. As he often quoted, “You only live once, so grab the bull by the horns and ride, baby, ride”. He is a teller of truths, even if it’s lies. If you want to know more about him, read his story.