Pay Attention to What’s Happening in Texas

Kate Cox is all of us

I don’t want to politicize my trauma. I shouldn’t have to.

But here I am. I never thought I’d see the day when my personal life is that affected by politics. I never thought some powerful men (yes, they are mostly men) would have a say in my deeply personal decisions.

But here we are. It’s 2023 and I can’t even read the news anymore because it’s triggering.

What is happening in Texas?

I first saw the headline in my inbox from The New York Times: “Texas Judge Grants Woman’s Request for Abortion, in Rare Post-Roe Case.”

My immediate reaction was to delete the email. I don’t want to read about this, even when it’s a victory. Or I should say, was a victory, a short-lived one at that.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, Kate Cox, a Texas resident, recently got a fatal diagnosis for her fetus at 21 weeks pregnant. Cox, whose fetus was diagnosed with trisomy 18, a chromosomal abnormality that results in miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death within the first year, attempted to get an exemption from the Texas abortion ban.

She first was entitled to a medical exemption, but the Texas Supreme Court later overturned that ruling.

Their reasoning? Exemptions are only for when the birthing person’s life is at risk. I mean, yay for supporting the lives of people with uteruses, but we don’t care about the baby anymore? Whatever happened to being pro-life?

This scary world that the US has become for women is getting a little too real for me.

Because I have a similar story.

My fetus was also diagnosed with a genetic abnormality, which was either potentially fatal or would have resulted in a life of suffering.

The difference between Cox and me is that I live in California. I didn’t have to fight the Supreme Court for my TFMR (termination for medical reasons). If I lived the exact same life that I’m living now but in Texas, I would be facing the same fate as Cox. And that is chilling to me. That is why it’s hard for me to even read about it.

What is happening in our country that our state of residence determines whether or not we have bodily autonomy?

When I read about Cox, my thoughts were first, “Yes, fight them!”

But then I questioned how she could possibly have the energy to fight a system bigger than her when she was also dealing with the agony of losing her baby?

I distinctly remember the moment I got my diagnosis, and I could barely even function as a human, let alone stand up to a patriarchal system meant to break us down.

But I still would’ve done the same thing.

Because, contrary to what the anti-abortion activists will tell you, this type of a termination is the pro-life option.

I brought this case up in my TFMR support group. I wanted to ignore it, but it’s on everyone’s minds. The second I mentioned it, I saw every head in our Zoom nodding along with me. Even women in different countries were following the news and devastated by this event.

Kate Cox is all of us.

It’s easy to dismiss news stories when they are just names of strangers with lives that don’t affect us. But we’re all affected by Kate Cox. Her situation is monumental because it could happen to any one of us, and if we don’t live in a state that allows abortions, we could also be fleeing the state for necessary health care.

If Kate Cox can’t get a medical exemption to get an abortion, then who can?

Before I was pregnant, I hadn’t even heard the term TFMR. I knew it was a thing that happened, but I didn’t realize how common it was. Until it happened to me.

Kate Cox is not a unique case. It’s also myself, the women in my support group, and the many other women who have kept their TFMRs a secret to themselves.

Kate Cox is a person who had to make an agonizing decision. She is a grieving mother. She is also mother trying to make the best decision for her baby.

And the state of Texas won’t let her.

It’s not just Texas

These legal battles are happening everywhere. In Kentucky, a woman has filed a lawsuit to get an abortion after finding out her embryo has no cardiac activity at eight weeks.

Eight weeks. She can’t even terminate a pregnancy at eight weeks. There’s no cardiac activity.

Similar lawsuits are being filed in Idaho and Tennessee by women whose pregnancies are posing threats to their own lives.

Explain to me how this is pro-life.

And it’s not just the red states in the US. Poland also has had a near-ban on abortion since 2020. Not only that, but the authorities in Poland are investigating girls, women, and healthcare providers who may have potentially received or provided illegal abortions.

This wielding of power to invade these residents’ privacy is nothing less than a witch hunt.

Needless to say, Kate Cox represents women across the world. We are all watching her case because we all feel it.

So, as you can see, I struggled to open that article about her. It was too close to home and I didn’t want to be re-traumatized. But I had to read it.

Her story deserves to be shared.

In fact, it needs to be shared if we’re ever going to get our reproductive rights back.

If you want to read more about my journey with TFMR, you can read here.