Patience for Twenty Twenty Two

More of a prayer than a new year resolution

The one word that I hope shows up throughout the next year in my life is patience. While the virtues of patience are not lost to anyone, it is not easy to possess this virtue. So for 2022 here is my prayer for patience.

Patience with my daughter

The willpower to not lose my mind when she unintentionally yanks out a fistful of my hair again while she tries hiding under the cushion fort we built. And the strength to not grieve and cry as I hold the strands of my hair in front of the mirror while assessing the damage that’s been done. I hope the days of the coming year give me the patience to not shout at my little girl amid attempts to contain the simmering anger within me as she runs away with my cellphone and throws it down the stairs.

Patience with my husband

So that the next time I have this irresistible urge to snap back at him for the most trivial of arguments, I hold my tongue and reassess if a snarky comment is really worth it at that moment. The patience to not jump to conclusions and paint my husband as the villainous character that he isn't when the dissatisfaction with my current job of being a stay-at-home mother becomes too much to handle. And the patience to take the focus away from the things he isn’t doing to the many more things he does for our family every day.

Patience with friends, family, and acquaintances

I hope that when the next time someone advises me to have another baby soon I do not lose my filter and say what I actually feel about the very unwelcome advice. Since my daughter will turn two next year the torrent of arguments in favor of this idea is bound to swell. I pray for patience so that I can hold a cool unaffected demeanor that does not betray how anxious the thought alone, of another tiny human relying on me, makes me feel. I hope to have the strength that does not make me go on a torturous series of thoughts when someone casually suggests that my daughter is possessive of her parents and things because she has single child syndrome.

Patience with myself

Lately, I have been very hard on myself. Staying at home can often make you feel rudderless. While everyone appears to be doing something out there, I have felt lost as time goes by and one day bleeds into another. I pray for patience and contentment that lets me see the labor of child-rearing as a productive job that has its own unparalleled rewards.

In the end, I pray for patience to deal with the uncertainty that has comprised our lives since, what seems like a really long time ago, when this pandemic began.