Part Two: Waking Up To A Sex Drive In Overdrive. Better Than Coffee

My rebirth as a cheating wife and how I got there

When you’re tired of being tired, you get help. When you’re tired of no passion, what do you do?

The hardest part of wedding vows is the promise. Promises are often broken, not due to lies but lack of care. Fights have become the norm. People stop listening. Couples move apart. They share the same bed but there is nothing in that bed but loneliness.

I had been a faithful wife for 20 years, with a husband that traveled most of his career. We’ve moved around the country and had many good times. The emphasis was on building his skills and raising our child. I was happy for a long time.

Then something changed in our marriage and in me over the past five years. Perhaps it was when I hit 40;that I’d been diagnosed with very low iron, the last move, a change in our friends or COVID. There are so many reasons why it changed but only one result. I was lonely, tired and sad all the time. There was a major life change at the beginning of the pandemic. I started a new job in a new city. The staff was kind and attentive. I started making friends and found myself really engaged with one of the managers. He was wonderful, kind and attentive and made me feel special every day.

I spent hours talking with him each week, so much so that my own manager kindly mentioned it so that I would be mindful of how people might see me at work, if I was always in someone else’s office. To be a good employee, I started cutting my attentive manager out of my work life slowly which hurt very much. I was so lonely that I imagined myself in love with him (I wasn’t).

I started spats with him so I wouldn’t give away how I felt. I felt so ashamed of what I was doing. After a large spat with my imagined lover, a fellow co-worker consoled me then propositioned me. My eyes were opened and my body stirred after a long sleep.

Why didn’t I see this coming? Possibly it’s because I’m very friendly and love people. I love everyone and see the world for all its beauty. When I find a good friend, I go all in. About six months into my job, I asked a few coworkers to connect with me over social media. They seemed like nice people and I felt safe in connecting with them.

Richard was funny, attentive and always laughing. We started off generally chatting about work items but got to message each other privately. I think the first time I had a moment of awareness was when he sent me a picture of a strawberry shaped like a heart. It was close to Valentines’ Day and he sent me a picture of it looking like a heart with the note Valentines’ heart. Then he turned it upside down and sent it with the caption “or Valentine’s d…?”

We started moving to more personal conversations, sending pictures to each other and getting to know each other more. He complimented my clothes (snappy dresser) and I complimented him on his appearance and his work ethic. We had a standing joke that he would take me for a drive in his very fancy BMW. We gave each other pet names. He was my office pal. We even privately hugged each other because we missed touch and hugs the most during the pandemic.

Our closeness grew after the day of the spat with the other manager. I ran to Richard’s office, almost in tears because I hated how I was acting around this manager. I hated feeling this way and was ready to pack it in or leave our workplace. I said as much to Richard. He could see my tears and hugged me hard and kissed my cheek. He vowed to be there for me, in whatever I needed.

The curve in the road stopped me from seeing what Richard was offering and what I found in his car one day.

Missed Part One?…click below to see my happy beginning (never an ending).