Parents Must Believe For Their Children To Achieve

Here is how to translate this mindset into reality.

I promised that I would write this story in the preview information embedded within my story below.

For those readers who have waited for it, here it is.

Introduction

Many parents live with undeniable realities. Family and personal life are filled with challenges. Whether it’s a financial problem, time management struggles, finding adequate childcare, balancing work schedules with family responsibilities, staying connected with their child’s education, or navigating trauma, these and a lot of other obstacles reflect the life of several mothers and fathers these days.

For countless parents, they are forced to live in a survival mode. That means that the intensity of daily life stressors causes them to focus on life minute by minute. They are forced to live their life one day at a time. Sadly, many parents who exist within this dreadful cycle cannot see beyond their present day. That becomes their mantra.

The unique personal characteristics of the impacted parents vary greatly. Here are some examples of this.

• Some may be single or only parents who do their best to provide for their children.
• Regardless of their level of education, employment status, or economic level, some parents find it hard to fulfill their obligations in life due to financial hardship.
• An increasing number of grandparents and older family members, as well as nonbiological individuals, are navigating the generational gap as they assume their new role as a parent and legal guardian to grandchildren, younger relatives, and family acquaintances as well as those from social services systems.
• Some mothers and fathers need to work multiple jobs to maintain their housing, to keep their children in a safe environment, and to pay their bills.
• Some families have been adversely impacted by unspeakable tragedy. This has been especially true throughout the pandemic because so many family members died or were incapacitated for a long time. The various levels of suffering that resulted overshadowed families with unshakeable sadness and despair. Parents have had to find a way to establish a sense of normalcy within their homes. Aside from the health crisis, a lot of families live with the impact of violence within their communities and schools.
• For some, the mental health struggles of family members strain the quality of family life.
• Poverty can prevent many parents from pursuing their passions and dreams as well as reaching their goals. Unless parents possess the mental fortitude and physical determination that manifests through hard work to break free of the generational bonds of lack, they will always remain at the place of deficiency.
• The injustices that consume the life of several diverse mothers and fathers cause them to lose hope. Racial and gender victimization are among the social ills that often break the spirit of these parents. It becomes hard for them to believe that conditions will change for the good in their lives.

The weight that many parents endlessly carry affirms their reality of merely existing at the moment. And the devastating truth is that the mental outlook of many of these mothers and fathers transfers to their children.

I was recently confronted with this reality.

Here Is The Backstory

A few weeks ago I created this post on my TikTok channel.

My purpose was to highlight the family benefits associated with enrolling children in a cyber school program.

Because my 15-year-old daughter has participated in gymnastics training since she was 2 years old, her cyber school has become the best educational format for her. This enables her to maintain a flexible schedule to attend school and train five to six days a week. Additionally, attending school virtually enables my daughter to travel during her competitive season as well as to attend athletic camps throughout the year.

To my dismay, a TikTok respondent let me know that they could not relate to my post as a middle-class parent. They concluded that rich families were the only ones who could participate in what I portrayed in my short video content.

A glimpse of my narrative dispels the respondent’s opinion.

The reality about this video is that I prepared for this trip for many months by saving money and organizing my travel schedule with my child and her school. I sacrificed a lot of things to drive my daughter 14 hours nonstop to participate in a gymnastics competition on an island in the state of Georgia. The hotel chain that I always use provides points. After accumulating enough points, rooms are offered at a reduced rate.

As an only parent, I have had to work extremely hard to provide for my child. I have had to make indescribable sacrifices for my daughter to participate in her rigorous gymnastics program. Many personal lifestyle changes have been made to fund all the developmental programs she has been involved in, too. And I do not regret denying myself by surrendering many of the personal pleasures that I once enjoyed. Instead, I selflessly take pride in engaging my child in opportunities that will enable her to grow to become the best version of herself.

So, in response to the TikTok respondent who assumes that wealth exclusively dictates the capacity of families to travel so that their child participates in athletics programs, I became inspired to write this story.

My parenting perspective has enabled me to empower mothers and fathers. I believe the advice that follows has the capacity to give parents the confidence to improve their attitudes about engaging their children in unique activities programs.

The rest of this story is devoted to this.

Nine Ways Parents Can Enrich Their Child’s Life Involving Them In Robust Activities

These are the things mothers and fathers need to do to help their children embrace the destiny that belongs to them.

1. Adjust your attitude.

Sometimes teachers, coaches, and other adults in a child’s life make parents aware of their unique abilities. Many times these people encourage mothers and fathers to enroll their son or daughter in advanced training programs to improve their skills and position them to perform at more rigorous levels.

If parents consider these recommendations with a spirit of skepticism, they are likely to develop a negative opinion about enrolling their child in such programs. Negativity is like a poison that kills opportunities before they even begin.

The attitude of parents become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here are the thoughts that I shared about the self-fulfilling prophecy in my book called “Repair the Broken Pieces”.

“The internal beliefs that an individual maintains about those that they encounter and interact with will ultimately manifest in their actions toward them.”

It is critical for mothers and father to approach potential experiences that their children could participate in with positivity. If parents adjust their mental outlook by embracing optimism, their child’s outcome when they participate will reflect this.

2. Develop a vision for your child.

As parents are tending to the current routines and situations in life, they must focus on tomorrow. When mothers and fathers visualize desired outcomes for their children, all that they expose their children to remains connected to the vision they have for them.

Whether it’s completing college to improve their station in life, helping them discover their talents and special gifts, or increasing the opportunity for future scholarships, parents must envision greatness for their children. When they embrace a positive vision for their child’s future, mothers and fathers are more apt to help their visions become actualized. But most importantly, if their child also has a vision for their future, parents who are also visionaries are better positioned to provide support and to encourage them as they capture their vision.

3. Collaborate with other families who share your child’s interests.

Reality exists within activity programs children and youth are involved in. Other families within these programs experience financial uncertainties and time management challenges. Therefore, parents must be willing to collaborate whenever it becomes applicable so that they can help each other.

Here are a few examples of this.

• Family collaborations become very helpful with carpooling to and from practices and classes along with traveling great distances for special events.
• If special attire is required for their children, mothers and fathers can exchange garments with other families by reselling the garments at cheaper rates or giving them away to those who need them.
• When traveling great distances, parents may opt to share a hotel suite or room to reduce the cost of the accommodations.
• If specialized training is needed such as time with a private coach, arrangements can be made for a few parents to go in together so that their children receive one on one help with the coach or trainer.
• Families can organize fundraisers together to offset expenses.

All these things epitomizes the power of the team spirit.

4. Create a side hustle and earn extra money.

In addition to the regular earnings of their traditional jobs, mothers and fathers are able to create a side hustle. These represent some examples.

• The internet and many social media platforms have made it easy for people young and old to create income streams using unique strategies online.
• Individuals are able to transform their passion and talents into money-making opportunities.
• There are countless service-oriented jobs these days. Whether it’s the delivery of meals or products ordered online or transporting customers, employees can develop a flexible schedule to perform these duties.
• The pandemic has resulted in employee shortages everywhere. This makes it is possible for individuals who want to earn extra money to pick up a supplemental job that fits into their schedule.

The bottom line is that any parent who needs extra money to pay for their child’s involvement in their activity program can earn some with their side hustle.

5. Become resourceful.

Most of the families that I know who engage their children in rigorous activity programs use creative and individualized strategies to allow their involvement to happen. Here are some of the strategies parents commonly use.

• Many programs that develop children and youth have parent booster organizations that either give parents the option to join or their membership is mandatory. This type of group organizes fundraising opportunities for families to reduce the cost of events like traveling. Booster organizations also establish procedures that make family involvement attainable.
• When it comes to traveling, parent groups can make trips cost-effective by carpooling or renting large vehicles like vans and buses. Hotel accommodations may be made using group rates and even cheaper rates may be provided at inexpensive places. Since most hotel rooms are equipped with a microwave and refrigerator, parents can use a cooler from home to transport food and beverages. This will help to save money as the need for frequent restaurant dining is either reduced or eliminated.
• Athletic programs along with other activity organizations are likelyvto use payment programs to allow parents to pay for fees in installments. Once mothers and fathers develop their budgets, it may become less challenging for them to make monthly payments.
• Parents should speak to club owners and program directors about part-time employment possibilities to offset the cost of membership fees or tuition. Whether its maintenance or landscaping work or providing office help, there may be opportunities for mothers and fathers to provide their services in exchange for their children participating in special programs.
• Families can create unique fundraising activities to pay their children to participate in extracurricular programs. Organizing garage or bake sales and car washes could raise funds to support their involvement in programs. Other ways to raise money could include using consignment shops to resell children’s apparel, shoes, books, and toys. Every amount raised no matter how great or small will help defray the cost of activity fees.

6. Rely on your village.

The popularized African Proverb

“it take a whole village to raise a child”

is very applicable here. Parents who experience financial challenges and limitations may need to solicit help from their village. Their village typically consists of:

• relatives like grandparents, aunts, and uncles who are committed to supporting the young person’s journey,
• members of the family’s faith-based community who want to bless the participant involved in a unique activity, and
• members of the local community who believe the young person’s potential and want to help them achieve their goals.

These represent some of the groups that may provide help to families so that the dreams of their children are embraced.

This assistance may come in the form of financial gifts or the use of vehicles or vacation properties as well as providing gift cards used for meals or gas while traveling. No matter how the village helps, the family appreciates it.

7. Abandon fear.

It can be unnerving when parents enroll their children in programs they are unfamiliar with. It can become frightening and overwhelming when the full range of participant requirements is revealed.

However, instead of allowing fear to become their mantra, mothers and fathers must remain focused on the devotion they have for their children. They must allow the enthusiasm they have about the unique opportunity that their children have to abound.

8. Educate yourself.

Obtaining as much information about the program their child participates in represents another way for parents to replace fear with enthusiasm.

Mothers and fathers should not rely on program leaders, instructors, and coaches to arm them with knowledge. They should endeavor to equip themselves with information that will position their children for a higher level of success in their program.

If children display special abilities and passion for their activity, parents need to take the lead in exploring possibilities connected to continued training beyond high school. They must begin to explore university scholarship possibilities early to enable their child to make strides in their developmental process. Parents must also help their sons and daughter explore career paths associated with their talents and interests.

Parents need to remain actively engaged as it relates to the direction their children desire to go with their activity program. Professionals who lead these programs may not have the same level of commitment to advancing their students compared to their parents because they may work with so many promising students. Often times parents are the ones who believe in their children when others do not.

Here is a word of caution. I believe that parents must be realistic about their child’s potential.

9. Be willing to make personal sacrifices.

Self-care has become a popularized way for some people to simply pamper themselves. In many instances, self-care translates into self-indulgent behavior. Some adults may equate doing special things for themselves as a necessity as well as an entitlement. They may maintain the belief that they have the right to treat themself with frequent acts of kindness and extravagances because they are worth it.

Whether it includes receiving frequent massages, traveling to magical destinations for periodic getaways without their children, getting weekly manicures, pedicures, and hair stylings, eating at pricey restaurants, purchasing high-end coffee drinks each day, and so much more, some people consider these things to be self-care.

Being an engaged parent has taught me the meaning of self-care. And my definition is not connected to materialism. To me, self-care involves tending to my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health. If I have deficits in these areas of my life, it adversely impacts my capacity as a mother and only parent.

Parents must establish priorities as it relates to family life. This is especially true if parents find it difficult for their children to participate in specialized activity programs.

I believe mothers and fathers prone to selfish versions of self-care should engage in self-sacrifice to create opportunities for their children instead. To me, that means that they should postpone enough of their indulgences so that there is enough money to pay for their children to participate in special programs. (But if there are enough finances for parents to spoil themselves with luxuries, that is a wonderful thing!)

Children and teens are young for a short time. In time, parents will be able to resume all their self-care routines.

Another parental sacrifice is personal time. It takes time to transport children to and from events. And it especially takes a lot of time if travel is involved. Parents must remain willing to give of that time to support their children as long as employment and personal obligations permit it.

My Last Words

The reality is quite clear. There may be many reasons why mothers and fathers are not able to engage their children and teens in fun, developmental, and enriching activity programs outside of the parameters of school. This is because of the struggles of life that consume parents. Additionally, personal time constraints prevent a lot of parents from enrolling their children in unique programs.

However, I believe that parents who are in more of a position to at least investigate the possibility of their children participating in athletic, artistic, academic, or other development programs should at least try to.

In this story I included several options that mothers and fathers can rely on so that opportunities could be created for their children to be involved in wonderful activity programs. The reason why I outlined these strategies is to help parents who have a desire for their children and teens to be exposed to positive life experiences to have hope.

Along with hope, mothers and fathers must be willing to position their children to embrace a future filled with hope by supporting them.

I hope this story provided you with hope for the future of your children. Thank you for reading it.

If you have additional information to share, be sure to join the conversation by sharing your thoughts in the comment section of this story.

Here is my golden ticket that helps me accomplish my mission.

Dr. Deborah M. Vereen is a retired Teacher and School Administrator. Her website is www.Drdeborahmvereen.com and her YouTube Channel is