Parenting and Shaping Political Views of the Future

How Did Two of My Kids Become Conservatives?

In past few days I’ve revealed that my 18 year old son has drifted into the dangerous rabbit hole of QAnon. Prior to that I’ve mentioned that he and my 21 year old son are voting for Trump. That mention earned me my first ‘block’ on Medium. Apparently, according to the comments, this Liberal Green Party member and loving mother of four raised two Klan members. The other two are 15 and 13.

While I have been busy trying to figure out the best approach to steer him away from Q with respect to his budding political activism and emotional sensitivities, I have been reflecting on our politics and parenting approach. Their father describes himself as a Democratic Socialist and I’m best described as a Liberal Libertarian.

Both of us aligned with Attachment Parenting fairly confident as we were both raised in poor, working class, authoritarian, and abusive homes. The best way to raise our kids to break the cycle of poverty and abuse is by treating them like rich hippy kids.

I could go on forever about the differences in how poor children are treated are taught differently in comparison to their rich peers, but I would rather focus on my particular conundrum and circumstance. Perhaps some scholarly person could point me to a study that doesn’t just go on and on about children growing up in authoritarian households that rebel with Liberalism. I got the opposite going on here. I suspect that it has to do more with the devotion to freethinking than forcing your kids into beliefs on either end of the spectrum. That was never my program.

I believe that if exposed to information on all topics, a child forms a foundation to solidify their own moral structure. I made sure that my kids have a working knowledge of all religions and politics without my bias in an attempt to trust that they we are all inherently born good. That’s the Emma Goldman in me. If given an opportunity to objectively review our world, we form a respect and interest in good stewardship as a the survival-based, gregarious beings we are meant to be. (I just got John Lennon’s song Imagine in my head.) I believe that given the opportunity and respect, a child can flourish and weather storms with positive stoicism.

Reviewing all of this, perhaps it’s plain to see how my son was attracted to the enticing prospects of QAnon. The initial selling point is a great awakening with promises of truth being revealed. After the hook, the twists on truth and ultimately the grift become evident to most people, but not to a growing number of people who share many similar characteristics. These similar characteristics; depression, feelings of powerlessness in a world gone mad, and longing to be part of something profound are also the most common attributes among people who have been indoctrinated to other dangerous grifts and cults. Trying to tell my 18 year old any of this is a challenge as the normal friction to separate from his parents is wrapped tightly to a movement that advertises tools to shut down naysayers. The truth is not the “real” truth. In other words, I don’t want to appear reptilian.

I want to address the concept of Free Range Parenting here because it may appear that I may go to those extremes, but that’s simply untrue. While we maintain an environment of freedom, kids need us to be the adults. Just like more traditional parents, we know that a growing person needs to have consequences when making poor choices. Unlike Free Range Parents, we don’t excuse our neglect as rugged individualism. In May, when my 18 year old was terrified of getting his wisdom teeth out for fear that the oral surgeon would sedate him and harvest his organs, we kindly worked it out over weeks of helping him rationalize his fear. He was in a tremendous amount of pain. We did not just throw our hands up and say, “Oh well, Free will!”

My oldest son’s political leanings resemble my Libertarian leanings, but also reflect his love for money. This kid went to his first day of first grade with suit on carrying a brief case. Picture Alex P. Keaton. When he registered to vote at 18(just after the 2016 Election) there was no surprise that he joined the Libertarian Party. His high IQ and logical reasoning sometimes makes him less sympathetic to egalitarian goals. Also, his fiancée and he became baptized last year as Christians, that was a little more surprising. However, they are very active members of the local charities that their church runs so I am very proud that he now exemplifies the very best parts of what Jesus professed.

In case you’re wondering, my 15 year old son just took the Political Compass test with me today. He’s tad to the right of Bernie Sanders. I was a little surprised, I thought he was more moderate. My 13 year old daughter is a budding Liberal social justice warrior. She proclaims herself to be a “Diehard Bernie Stan.”

I just realized that I’m not offering any advice or academics here, but rather, some slice of life. At this very moment, the peace I feel by just putting my story out there gives me the sense that we will all be alright if we keep listening to each other and respecting our differences.

That’s the goal isn’t it? No matter who wins, we keep loving.