Parental Communication Hack

Warning: Barbie Voice & Play Doll Fully Involved

Today was my birthday.

My daughter Niamh is sitting next to me, watching a little Over The Moon before bed on the other monitor.

We are both bathed and in our pj’s.

And just finished smashing the last of the marble birthday cake that my mom got me.

Niamh has a little play doll from the dollhouse that our friends from church donated to us a few months back.

The dollhouse came with a little family set of dolls.

Of course, the dad is my favorite doll to reenact.

We call him little dada.

He’s sitting in his little rocker on my desk with us.

Little dada is my alter ego in child form who can effectively communicate with my child.

All I must do is grab little dada, talk in a little doll voice (whatever that is), and boom—genius parental communication hack.

At least with my child and myself, personally. At this day in age.

I turned 26 today. She will be 4 at the end of May.

So, in essence, we are both children.

And it shows because I am super silly with her.

It’s hard to be stressed about anything or take life too seriously when you get lost in actually being a child again.

To be an innocent child again who isn’t aware of the world's true pains is one of the most beautiful things in the world to not only witness, but of course experience.

A child who hasn’t yet experienced true pain, loss — or terrors of the world.

One who hasn’t been exposed to the evil that roams the earth.

The Eternal Fun-Suckers

When she gets upset and is past having a reasonable talk (tears forming, feet slamming, anyone?) — little dada gives me magical communication abilities that somehow remind my daughter to maintain her cool.

I know sometimes my daughter gets irritated with whatever authoritative tone I may normally as a father.

Most of us can relate to an experience similar to that. Or maybe it’s just me.

As children, we often see our authority figures or our parents or teachers as a threat to whatever fun it is that we are trying to have; people who create rules that don’t make sense stop us from doing what we want to do.

Remember being there?

On a more foundational note — open and thorough communication between parents and our kids is probably the one thing that could improve with any parents that would have the highest impact on the quality of the relationship with them.

Open and honest communication is the one thing that should be nourished and developed continuously throughout their childhood and as they grow into adolescents for us to have a healthy relationship with them.

Even for a young, dumb, and naive first-time parent like myself, this makes a lot of sense.

I’ve read or observed parents who are constantly trying to figure out what’s going on with their kids.

This has to mean that the communication at some point was severed to a certain degree in what your child felt they could talk to you about.

This isn’t an attack if this sounds like your experience.

Because to be honest, it usually happens to every parent or set of parents.

Things were all well and dandy, and then one day, they just shut you out.

At least it may have felt like it just happened in one just day.

When your child is young, it’s easy to know what they are up to or what they are thinking. They will either tell you themselves openly, or you will witness it yourself while with them.

As our children grow older, we see them less. They develop other relationships with peers, friends, and schoolmates.

Those same people will impact their minds, the way they view the world, and even how they see you.

This all happens without you knowing unless your hyper-intentionally in your day-to-day interactions with them.

And my guess is this all happens a lot more quickly than we realize.

The only way to stay completely up to date and informed on what’s going on in your child's life and mind as they grow older will be through you relying on them to be open and honest with you.

Because you’re not the one that needs to do the talking.

They need to spill the can of beans.

They need to be the ones to tell you what’s really going on.

Preferably without it being some drawn-out, painful process of prying and asking weird semi-related questions so that you can put together an assumption that isn’t quite accurate but will definitely lead to an explosive argument, or at a bare minimum, you misunderstanding what’s really on their mind.

Of course, none of that has happened to me yet. Noo.

I’ve got it easy.

My child is only 3 — going on 4 very soon, here.

But I am happy that I’ve identified a small way in which I can communicate with her in her own little way — even if it does require me to take a breath, find little dada, and put on a silly doll voice.

Because it probably takes a small amount of vulnerability on my end for her to open up and know she can trust me and talk to me about her feelings and what’s happening behind the tears and trembling words of frustration.

As she continues to grow and mature, I hope that I continue to find sleek and savvy ways to communicate with my daughter; so that I never lose the one thing that is most important between a father and daughter, or any parent(s) and their child.

The ability to sit down, talk, and converse honestly with one another.

Hopefully, with them being at least receptive to whatever advice may or may not be given on our end.

Closing and special bonus

She is taking a nap right now, which I will be I’ll be encouraging for the rest of time even though every parent I encounter says,

“Oh, she still does that? — She’ll grow out of it soon..”

Yeah.

Or maybe the naps just stopped being enforced.

I guess time will tell.

I’m not a parenting expert, nor will I ever claim that anything I suggest is gold and will work for everyone.

Because it might not the first time.

What’s worked for me might not work for you or your child at all.

Shit, my advice could make things worse.

That happens too in life.

Either way, her Pink 12 Volt Electric Jeep was just delivered on the front steps moments ago; and I am stoked to put it all together for her so she can see it when she wakes up from her nap — and hopefully get some playtime in before heading back to her moms at 6pm.

I hope this helps prepare anyone who is a new parent or if your child is older, take some principles and apply some creativity to your own situation.

I’d ultimately say that for your child to open up to you; it may be best to actually step out of the role as a parent for just a moment by making it clear you aren’t approaching it from a parental stand-point — and more like a trusting friend who wishes to lead and guide them.

Or you can pretend to be their favorite stuffed animal or toy doll.

I know people don’t like to be bossed around (on average) or even feel like someone is above them in most situations.

Even if you clearly are. Which they should still know too.

I’ll see you guys soon.

Maybe with some more modern parental hacks that have worked for me.

I’ve been holding back some of my co-parenting experience and the things I’ve personally learned being a co-parent with someone I have a lot of friction with.

Anyways.

With love,

MDM

Toy Jeep Update

The Jeep is awesome. It took some time (1 1/2 hours) to put together, and the wheels and body came separately (less than 24 hours apart) — but once together, she was flying at speeds up to 7 mph, conquering the neighborhood trails with ease.

These new toys are teched out compared to my 90’s Jurassic Park Electric Jeep.

This new one has:

• LED head and taillights
• Bluetooth speaker so I can bump her favorite tunes while she cruises,
• Magnetic locking doors for easy in-and-out
• Even a little horn on the stirring wheel

Oh, and the battery life was killer.

Just saying.

She was MAX off-road thrills and fun for an entire 2 hours, and the thing still hadn't even died then.

I was pretty impressed.

At $280, it wasn’t exactly a stuffed animal from Wal-mart that she saw and begged for before me finally saying,

“Awww, okay… you can get him.”

I used my internet savviness to scourer the internet for the very best Electric Jeep for my princess, and this one from Best Choice Products had solid reviews on Amazon and their website, so I decided to go for it.

That is most definitely an affiliate link that I will earn a few pennies on if you decide to grab one — which you most definitely should if you know or have a child that is between the ages of 3 and 8 and has been cooped up inside a little too much this last year and needs to get out and develop some real-life hand-eye coordination skills.

Cheers.