Humor
Paranoia or Savvy foresight?
Does it really matter?
Too many rescue dramas and true crime podcasts or particularly shrewd foresight? I’m going with my incredible gift for planning that drives me to leave literal breadcrumbs behind and keep track of potential clues.
I leave food right where it drops in my car. I may need it to survive one day. Nobody who ever found themselves stuck in an overturned car in a remote ravine waiting for someone to notice they hadn’t returned thought they'd end up there when they left the house that morning. Do you think anyone who wound up stranded on an icy highway for 24 hours during a freak snowstorm thought that’s where they’d be laying their heads for the night?
No, they didn’t. And most likely, they were starving.
That will not be me, no sir. I’ll be dining on those french fries that didn't quite make it to my mouth, the Cheez Its I couldn’t catch before they fell under the seat, the few popcorn kernels in my cupholder, and a ton of Tic Tacs, hoping they hold me over until help arrives.
But that’s not where my incredible knack for preparedness ends.
The best witness ever
What’s the first thing you do when you hear a strange, unnatural-sounding noise as you’re sitting on your couch watching TV at night? Press mute? Strain your ears in the direction you think the noise came from? Get up and hide behind the curtain while you peer out into the night? Note the time and what you were watching, where the moon was positioned in the sky?
Me too. Do you keep a small notebook for these possible murders/sounds you hear? Me neither. But I will be the best damn witness anyone has ever cross-examined if the police should ever canvas the neighborhood.
Paranoia or foresight— who cares as long as you’re ready?
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