Pamela’s Intro
Illumination inspires writer’s to become authentic.
My life started in Washington State, the grand year of 1968. I was born a third daughter with two sisters older and one younger brother. We were all 4 years apart. Italy was where I attended K-1st grade. We then moved to the states, where I attended 2nd grade and learned to fear teachers with rulers. Mrs. Welch was mean. Red hair and glaring eyes, I was hit by her ruler one to many times. I was not going to let that nasty Mark cause any trouble for me, so I did get the ruler.
My 8th grade year, we flew to a remote village in Alaska, where I spent the next five years. I graduated and gave the Valedictorian speech, which I still have in my photo album. I stayed in the Village of Anaktuvuk Pass, Alaska another six months before moving to Kotzebue with a man. I ended up giving birth to my oldest son, who is now in Kosovo, serving in the National Guard, Army (he is 31 years old). My third son is serving in the Air Force, currently in Oklahoma. They both joined the military the same year.
I am the mother of six children, all are grown up except my 16 year old daughter. My 21 year old daughter lives with me as well my two doggies and two rats (yes, I said rats.).
I’m going to skip over some super negative seasons of my life. I suppose, that could be a whole new story in itself.
Flash forward: I am a survivor of domestic abuse. Whereas I rotate back and forth into the frustrating victim state, I am living more in the survivor stance. I was married for 21 years to a verbally abusive individual who valued work over family. My life took some interesting turns when I realized I wanted to be happy, not stuck.
Stepping out of the religiously bound lifestyle I had lived for 21 years was not easy. I started my Associates in Education and almost completed that when my mother passed away. I rolled the AA into a BA for Human Services. Soon after, I changed colleges and finished my BS in Psychology with a Minor in Addiction studies. I am now completing the last requirements for my Masters in Science in Education as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Substance Abuse Counselor. My dream to become a doctor is still on the horizon, where I think it needs to sit until I am free from Academic writing.
The six months I have experienced my Internship at Roger’s Behavioral Hospital working with Mental Health and Addiction Recovery Partial Hospitalization Programming. I teach Psycho-Educational groups, Recovery maintenance, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Prolonged Exposure (done the correct way in incremental steps), and where I have learned how to connect.
I admit I was disappointed in myself. I wanted to be licensed and counseling at this point in my life. However, surgeries, setbacks, and frustrations along with the virus have created an impetus for acceptance.
I saw all of my classmates getting jobs as school counselors, LPC’s and so forth. Here I was, my job suspended due to virus, my job also ending in June, and feeling frustrated.
Out of nowhere, my brain woke up. It threw my pity party out the door and said, hey, “You started your own business: Advanced Behavioral Changes, LLC and are planning online Domestic Violence education. You were approved to be state certified in the courts for DV education. You have a fatherhood program you are starting, and will be offering relationship coaching once men finish their DV education. You even are planning on a woman’s group for DV healing/education.
So, my degree is almost done, my LPC and SAC will be here, and I am a business owner. My life isn’t lost and gone. I have respect in the legal community. I connect with clients and probation agents. My focus is on helping others heal.
The good news? We are successful in even the little steps. I teach violin online. I began picking up the violin again and reforming, recharging, and regaining strength, which has become a gift. I give myself the gift of music everyday.
Preparing for group online, writing, music, and family are all the areas of my life where I know my life past built what I am today. I cannot discount the blessings of the trials. Each of the setbacks were stepping stones to a brighter future, today.
~Just a thought by Pamela
Thank you for reading.
Check out my two publications: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly for a look into all aspects of relationships, and Early Bird Musings, which shares the morning insights leading to a better day of life in the present moment.
About Me: Pamela J. Nikodem, MS immersed herself in studies surrounding relationships, domestic violence, and trauma. Her focus is to guide men and women into a place of peaceful assertiveness. ©2020