Pain Reconciled by Love: A Poetic Memoir

A Story of Pain, Reconciliation and Love

Pain Reconciled by Love, a poetic memoir by A.M. Parrish, is written in three separate parts. With poetry and prose, A.M explains in her own testimony how pain is inevitable, reconciliation is resilient, and love is magnificent.

From Part 1 (Pain: The Inevitable)

The End

Written before I tried to take my life, December 2017.

My tears have filled a thousand glasses,

From all the pain I’ve endured.

No one knows the severity of the masses,

Or destruction of the completely impure.

You were my light, and my purpose,

Until it all became undone.

Now, I cannot be amidst,

The falling and agonizingly fretted fun.

How could I have let it become broken,

When it was all so bruised and bent.

Already I’ve turned away lost kin,

So, it won’t matter when it’s spent.

My eyes may seem defenseless,

You’d be right if you said they were green.

For years, I thought they were brown, and careless.

I was right on one part: forever unclean.

My green eyes show fear now.

They tell a story of love, and then lust.

Then I ate too much crow,

And fell down the path lined with rust.

If You ever cared, You wouldn’t leave,

When I needed You the absolute most.

Can’t You show me a sign of reprieve?

Or will I just become a ghost?

I needed truth, I needed life.

But all You gave me was a destiny to die.

What is the point of it all, this strife?

Why are we all fated to cry?

No one lives a life of happiness.

Humans are masked in counterfeit.

I will never regret again, it’s bliss.

All my feelings will soon split.

No one ever cared or loved for real.

It’s all just words — the actions are what matter.

I learned that from my future, which could’ve been sealed.

Now, he may have to turn the latter.

All apologies — I shared, but never heard.

Repentance would have been nice,

The penitence of the purest words.

Here’s my last advice:

Don’t give up like I did.

I wasn’t meant to live past two decades.

But you can, I believe in you, kid.

And now, it’s time, for the last curtain to fade.

From Part 2 (Reconciliation: The Resilient)

Disappearing Sunflowers

Written summer 2018.

A sunflower can only equate,

To the beauty You shed near me.

Why would destiny’s fate,

Always forget Thee?

Nothing may matter,

But we all can see through.

The glass’s deafening shatter,

Has only started to brew.

You can’t see it all there,

But I know it is true.

That’s when you begin to stare,

And I bid my adieu.

You see we all die someday,

And one day we’re all missed.

But we must become a sun’s ray,

So that we don’t leave life a list.

A life is sometimes forgotten,

And we all wonder once,

Where we’ve all come from.

But some of us have fronts.

Though these feats are not fickle,

We’re all thrown under.

And I would bet a nickel,

That somehow, we all become thunder.

Our memories can be kept,

By absolute cowards.

Though, if those cowards are adept,

We won’t be disappearing sunflowers.

From Part 3 (Love: The Magnificent)

My Muse

For Austin, written Spring 2018.

“My Muse” is not a title,

I’d give to just anyone.

Being one has a tight role,

Of a thousand blinding suns.

You seem to fit this part just fine, though.

My muse you are, so let it be so.

“My Lover” is not a caption,

That I throw around cozily.

A word complete with wisdom.

The lover of divine honesty,

Is what you are, no skeptics nor fears,

Would come between us, no, never here.

“My Everything” is a symbol,

Of pure and just amnesty,

You fit the pitch of mere goals.

A sharp view of casualty,

Before you, my life was vacant space,

Without a purpose, with a petty face.

You came to me, subtly,

A bold steed of ecstasy,

I wish I’d had chivalry,

Fell short of exemplary.

But you love me without defection.

A noble lesson of affection.

I can’t bear to think of life,

Without my future husband.

That’s you, my muse, my light.

I made my castle of sand,

A tower of blissful decadence.

My life with you is my evidence.

Conclusion

Written for you, the reader.

You may think worth means quality.

No one has better ones than you, though.

Quality means superior quantity,

But qualities are what you can show.

Everyone has their own uniqueness,

We are concealed until we see it,

That we can all live a life with complete bliss.

Only your choices are what charge it.

We are not robots, but we are basic,

To the extent of equality.

And our critical moment is just a click,

Away; and you’ll see, you’re NOT faulty.

Life with love is a necessity,

So, make sure to love your heart out, now.

Pain will creep up unapologetically,

But the pain, we learn, becomes our vow.

Don’t give up. Forever persevere. Forever serve. Find Him.

Find out more about the author’s emotional journey in Pain Reconciled by Love