Pain is Necessary, Suffering is Optional
Avoiding pain is impossible; living without suffering is not.
Have you ever wished to be a successful movie star, singer or the CEO of your own company?
Have you ever seen someone who is exceptional at cooking, playing the guitar or public speaking and wished you were as good as them?
Have you ever clicked on a medium profile with loads of followers and wished you were as popular? (Gotcha!)
We all have at one point in our lives. We have seen people’s success and wished it was our own.
What most of us most don’t see is the pain those people went through.
Hours of practice. Money and time spent. Rejection after rejection.
That’s a lot of pain.
One of the best bodybuilders ever, record-holding eight times Mr. Olympia winner Ronnie Coleman, has put it simply:
Everbody wanna be a bodybuilder, but don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy-ass weight.
You can think about the guy what you want. If you are particularly narrow-minded, you can even call him a meathead jacked-up on steroids.
But here is the thing about Ronnie: His work ethic and his mindset are likely far beyond what anyone of us, including myself, will ever achieve.
He has become the world’s best bodybuilder, built up his own company, raised a family and worked as a full-time police officer while at it.
If someone knows what it takes to achieve something you truly want, it’s him.
This is what his quote is all about. Everybody wants to have success, but nobody wants to go through the necessary pain.
Pain is necessary. But here’s the secret sauce: Suffering is optional.
Why is pain necessary?
I know this whole pain-thing doesn’t really sound too appealing. Why can’t we simply live an easy, happy life without struggle? We could just avoid the pain and be jolly and sing and laugh all the time. Moreno, why do you have to be such a worrywart?
Because pain is necessary for growth. Growth, whether physically or spiritually, only occurs when you force your body or mind to adapt. Muscles grow if their fibers are hurt in training. A sharp mind, knowledge and expertise are built by hours and hours of mental exercise.
Want to get comfortable talking to strangers? You have to go through the pain of approaching random people and sitting through awkward silences.
Want to build a strong, lean body and become a sportier person? You have to go through the pain of lifting weights and saying no to that burger.
Want to be knowledgeable, get good grades and excel at your job? Long hours and late nights at the desk it is.
I guess you can see the pattern.
Pain is necessary. Without it, you have no opportunity for growth. Your life stagnates. And if your life stagnates, if you don’t grow and move on, you are as good as dead.
This is more than a smart-sounding metaphor. In an evolutionary sense, standing still is the equivalent of going backward, since all the other species and everyone around you continues to grow and improve. And any species which stands still will sooner or later be pushed aside by the ones which did not stop to grow. It is headed for extinction.
Pain determines our life
Now don’t get me wrong. I like to focus on the good things and enjoy life to its fullest.
While everyone has their own definition of the good things in life, we all are the same in the way that we like to enjoy the positive aspects.
For most of us, this includes being successful and achieving something meaningful. So, if everyone wants to have more or less the same thing, why is there only a handful of people who make it?
The answer is simple: Because these people went through the pain it takes. And the pain you are willing to take will determine your life. It will determine how much you grow and where you end up through that growth.
The pain ultimately defines where you end up. Successful athletes do not become successful because they like to have a gold medal hanging from their necks. They become successful because of all the shit they go through. Training, nutrition, sleep and regeneration. Recording their moves on video and analyzing them with their coach for hours. Visits at the chiropractor to prevent injuries.
Have a look at that one friend who cooks up amazing food every time you visit him. He did not become an amazing chef simply because he likes good food. We all do.
The important factor is that he goes through the pain associated with it: Trying out recipes and ingredients, cleaning up the kitchen and spending half a fortune on a proper pan and knife.
The pain is what gets you there.
Suffering is optional
So, are all successful people just superhuman and can take endless amounts of pain and suffering? No.
They have just chosen a pain which doesn’t make them suffer.
We all have to endure some kind of pain if we want to grow and achieve something in our lives. But we are relatively free to choose which kind of pain we want to endure. Making the right choice here is the basis for happiness and fulfillment.
You can choose your pain, so choose one that doesn’t make you suffer.
Back to good old Ronnie Coleman.
As someone who has done bodybuilding for almost ten years now and been on stage myself, I can tell you that this sport requires more sacrifices than almost any other. If you are a professional bodybuilder, it is a 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year job.
Your nutrition, your training, your regeneration has to be on point and there are next to no days off.
The pain that comes with it could fill another series of articles. Hardcore training, specific nutrition, starving yourself, not partying because you need regeneration & sleep, medication, injuries, dehydration pre-contest, hours of posing practice, physical pain on a daily basis, hours spent meal prepping. These are just the tip of the iceberg.
That’s a mountain of pain these guys go through on a daily basis. Any normal person wouldn’t last a week in their lives. The suffering would be too much.
Anyone in their right mind will probably ask themselves: “Why the fuck would you do all that just to look jacked?!”
And again, good old Ronnie Coleman has put it simply:
The reason why I do all that, put my body through all that? It is because I love it.
Plain and simple.
The pain he went through didn’t make him suffer, because he loved what he did. For him, it is not simply about getting jacked, but he loves the pain that comes with it.
And this, my dear reader, is how you avoid the suffering. This is how you become exceptional at something. You find a pain that doesn’t make you suffer. You find a pain that you love going through.
If you want to become truly great at something, you have to choose something where you fall in love with pain, not the outcome.
Here is a secret about just anyone who is genuinely good at something: They love the pain that comes with it.
Elon Musk loves racking his brains over seemingly unsolvable problems and promoting weird and futuristic concepts he gets a called a nutcase for.
The long-term successful investment bankers I have been talking to like pushing themselves to the limit with 16-hour-days.
And Ronnie Coleman loves lifting weights like a mad man, for hours on end.
It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a job, a relationship, leisure time activities or making good scrambled eggs.
The pain you choose defines your life, so you have to choose yours carefully.
You cannot avoid the pain, but choose something you love doing and you will avoid the suffering.
All the best,
Moreno
