Summary

The article discusses the importance of letting go of perfectionism by embracing nuance, acknowledging that perfection does not exist, and appreciating the value of progress and uniqueness.

Abstract

The article "Pacify Your Inner Critic by Letting Go of Black and White Thinking" emphasizes that perfection is an unattainable standard and that embracing nuance can help quiet the self-critical voice within us. It illustrates this through various examples, including the story of Kim Peek, a megasavant who, despite his extraordinary memory, had limitations in everyday tasks. The article also references the movie "Happiness Therapy," where the characters celebrate their achievements regardless of external judgment. It further argues that failures, likened to the color black, can be transformative and lead to greater success. The article concludes by encouraging readers to pursue their own paths and find beauty in the spectrum of experiences, using Max Richter's recomposition of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" as an example of successful rule-breaking in the conservative field of classical music.

Opinions

Perfectionism is an unrealistic and damaging expectation that hinders personal growth and satisfaction.
The inner critic's demand for perfection can be silenced by recognizing the beauty and validity of shades of grey, or imperfection.
Achievement and improvement should be celebrated, even if they fall short of ideal standards.
Failure and challenges are valuable experiences that can lead to significant personal development.
There is beauty and merit in embracing uniqueness and diverging from conventional paths.
The pursuit of perfection can blind us to the richness of life's varied experiences and the potential for innovation.

PERFECTIONISM

Pacify Your Inner Critic by Letting Go of Black and White Thinking

Nuance is everything

Imagine an angry pitbull barking at you. You can see the fury in his eyes. You tell him to stop: he gets nervous and barks even more.

You move by one inch? Fatal mistake: he jumps at you and plants its teeth on your calves… lucky you, it wasn’t your throat!

Well, that’s about what happens when your inner critic starts to harass you: you freak out and freeze.

Why your self-critic is constantly barking at you? Well, because he expects perfection from you. He has the highest standards for you and wants you to achieve them. Unfortunately, you’re just a human being. You have limits, so nothing you ever do pleases him. How to pacify your inner critic? Well, today we’ll try one thing: teaching him how to let go of black and white thinking. It’s not either right or wrong. There’s an entire world between the two. Let’s invite him to the beautiful kingdom of nuance!

Cream is beautiful

First, let’s be clear, perfect white is a color that does not exist. It is completely alien to our physical world. There’s always an imperfection somewhere, even if you think it’s perfectly white.

Remember the movie Rainman? It’s about a mentally disabled man who accomplishes great memory feats. Well, did you know this was inspired by an actual megasavant whose name is Kim Peek?

Kim Peek can’t do simple things like getting dressed. But he can memorize an entire phone directory. He can even read 2 pages at a time! I’ve watched a documentary about him and at some point, he discovers music and gets excited about it. That’s how he gets invited to attend a piano concert. Unfortunately, he gets nervous and starts to complain loudly.

Why? His unique capabilities make him ultrasensitive to errors in the music piece. And he’s fed up with all the errors made by the player! In the meantime, other people did not notice a thing. There were many errors, and in spite of this, it appeared perfect white to everyone!

Conclusion: even a dirty shade of white can be mistaken for perfect white by most people. You don’t need to do zero errors to be great.

Grey is beautiful

You certainly can’t expect to get to that lighter shade of white when you begin on something new. It takes time to get good. Let’s appreciate it. But grey can also be satisfying.

In the movie “Happiness therapy”, a man and a woman want to participate in a dancing competition. The man refuses at first but gets persuaded to give it a try. They train intensely for long weeks. Then, the two amateur dancers are ready to attend the competition.

Their performance is pretty nice, but it does not compare to the other dancers. The result comes and they get a 5 on 10. This is an awful note for a dance competition. And yet, they are cheering all over the place!

Of course, all the other dancers look at them in a perplexing way. But the couple is the happiest as they made a bet and just won it!

Black is beautiful too

If it does not kill you, black can really make you shine. When everything is easy to you, you get an overdose of white. You think you are the king of the world and nothing impresses you anymore. With black, you are forced to evolve and develop yourself. When I finished high school, I went to one of the famous French preparatory classes. These are classes that train you very hard to get enrolled in one of the elite French engineering schools. The workload is one of the highest in Europe.

This year was horrible. During my mathematics classes, I was usually 2 blackboard panes late. At the end of the day, I had guided tutorials and oral exam sessions. And I finished the day lost in my notes. I never worked so hard!

Yet, I had the most horrible marks. I’m speaking about 30% marks in spite of studying all my waking time. At the end of the year, I finished 36th out of a total of 38 students.

Obviously, I was not accepted in the second year and felt like shit at that point. I was in a black hole. But this crazy year gave me the most useful kick in the ass of my life.

The next year, I enrolled in the public university of my city. I was enraged by my previous failures and vowed to avenge them. In the first year, I finished 1st among about 120 students and 4th in the second year. This made me able to enroll in a prestigious computer science engineering school.

Oh, look! There are colors too!

Now that we’ve explored every shade of grey from white to black, let’s get outside the box. Oh look, there are colors too! Yes, after all, perfect white is not the only thing you can pursue. You can go after something different than what the herd does.

Classical music is probably one of the most conservative fields. So when composer Max Richter contacted violinist Daniel Hope to tell him about his idea of recomposing Vivaldi’s iconic “Four Seasons” piece, he was intrigued.

“Is there a problem with the original?” he said. Max Richter looked at him with a smile and said: “No, not at all, the original is perfect and I love it. The problem is not the music but the way it was used in the last 40 years. This is bludgeoning. I would like to take ownership of this piece, take some distance from it, and find a new approach to listening to it.”.

The result is this masterpiece: Max Richter — The Four Seasons: Recomposed.

Max Richter broke many rules of classical music here:

First, he changed the composition. Second, he incorporated synthesized sounds into the piece. Third, the interpretation is not even perfect from an interpretation point of view.

For example, even if you’re not Kim Peek, you will recognize a glitch by the main violinist at that point: 36m49s. It turns out this made Max Richter smile!

The end result is just so refreshing. It easily eclipses any interpretation I know of the original piece, even if I still love the original piece.

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I hope these stories helped you pacify your inner critic a bit. It will at least implant the idea that perfect white is not the only way to go.

Hopefully, it will make you a little less inhibited, and give you just enough fresh air to make progress on your most challenging tasks. If you’re up for it, I would love to hear your stories in the comments!

On February 1st, 2022, I embarked on a 100 days writing challenge. This is post number 71.