Owning up to Your Mistakes Isn’t Easy, but It’s Necessary

Take ownership of mistakes.

What kind of nonsense is it when a governor of a state says, “Mistakes were made.” Real leaders take ownership of their miscues.

Here’s the governor’s tactic admission after addressing all the others that made mistakes.

By having the courage to admit that mistakes were made, Governor Cuomo set an important example of what reflective leadership can look like on the national stage.

I’m not the governor, and you’re not either.

Why don’t we admit our mistakes to our spouse, our children, and friends?

I owe everything I learned about admitting mistakes to my wife, Fran.

About two years into our marriage on a Sunday evening, Fran said, “I want to talk with you about something.” “About what,” I muttered. She questioned, “Why do you have trouble admitting your mistakes to me?”

Bam! I didn’t have an answer.

So, “I’ll think about this and give you an answer on Wednesday evening.”

On Wednesday evening, I had two reasons for me not wanting to admit my mistakes to her.

Before I reveal my two reasons, I have a question for you:

When was the last time you interrogated yourself about how you respond to people?

My three days of soul searching opened two wounds preventing me from admitting the mistakes I made.

Rejection and my insecurities were the culprits.

• Rejection began for me in first grade. I had a severe speech impediment. I had good grades, but the teachers could not understand what I was saying. So I did first grade again. I got my first of many rejection slips.

The fear of being rejected by someone close to me prevented me from admitting my mistakes.

Have you ever been rejected by your spouse, your friend(s), or a boss simply because you made a mistake? Does the fear of being rejected bubble to the surface in your mind? How many times has this fear of rejection stop you from saying, “I made a mistake?”

The fear of rejection unleashes its twin, anxiety, simmering in the dark corners of your unconscious mind. The grip of anxiety puts up a stop sign, not allowing you to admit your mistake.

Are you feeling anxious about what admitting a mistake will do to your reputation? Look no further than the fear of rejection. Dig deep, find the root of this fear, and pull it out of your life.

• Insecurity was the second reason for avoiding responsibility for my mistakes. Someone would use my mistake as a weapon to find fault with what I was doing now.

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steven Furtick

In business jargon, it’s ‘risk-avoidance.’ Sure, you take a risk when you admit a wrong — buff up, my friend. Find the freedom it brings you by admitting what everyone else knew. You flubbed up. No more, ‘mistakes were made’ instead freely say, I made a mistake.

In reality, most people appreciate when you own up to your mistakes.

When I admitted to my wife, the twin causes as to why I had trouble admitting mistakes, she assured acceptance of me. Owning up to my mistakes would never be used against me. Whew, what a relief to me.

These are three of my favorite quotes on making mistakes.

You may make some mistakes — but that doesn’t make you a sinner. You’ve got the very nature of God on the inside of you. — Joel Osteen

If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. — John Wooden

If you need some humor Yogi’s always hitting the spot.

We made too many wrong mistakes. — Yogi Berra

Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. has a great take on taking care of mistakes.

Acceptance

Acceptance calms the fear of rejection and the anxiety of insecurity.

Your idea might not be accepted, but your acceptance as a person of value is not in dispute.

The assurance of acceptance is why you need a friend. Gather optimistic, positive friends around you. Do not live your life alone.

What I learned in the conversation with my wife forty-eight years ago, I’m still learning. I have not arrived but I do know to admit a mistake will not a rejection slip make.

We all long for acceptance by others.

Maybe you do not have a trusted spouse, brother, sister, or friend you can count on for acceptance when you mess up.

The highest acceptance offered is in Jesus Christ. He will answer your call. Our Lord accepts you by His grace.

To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:6

I write about making better choices. Voicing the words, ‘I made a mistake’ is a choice that will set you free to live an abundant life.

The governor made a passive statement, dismissing accountability, let us not do the same.

Additional reads to begin your day on the right foot.

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Thanks for reading,

Richard