Own Your Sexiness, Woman!
be the sexiest version of yourself
Every woman is sexy.
We all have something (more than one thing, surely) that makes us desirable, sensual, and sexually attractive. It can be something discreet or audacious. It can be perceptible to the naked eye, or something that arises in privacy.
We are sexy and we should own it, proudly.
I am an observant person, I love to do people-watching (quirks of being a writer). I pay attention to actions and reactions; to details.
What I appreciate the most is to observe seduction: what women and men do to get attention from someone, and how they act once they have it. I love to see how they adjust their posture, how discreetly move their body, and focus their enigmatic or hungry gaze; how women usually touch their hair or brush their lip with their tongue.
To be seductive, one has to be self-confident.
For me, more than a jovial look, or to be attractive, a man has to carry confidence -not to be pretentious: that’s a different and annoying thing. He also has to have “something”, an ingredient that, for me, is a magnet: sexiness.
However, I recognise that women are much sexier than men. I’m sorry guys, but it’s how I see it. And that makes it even sexier!
Your sexiness should be something you own for Yourself
You shouldn’t feel sexy exclusively in a seductive situation, but also when you are alone, with yourself (“me time” is so important).
You should wear your sexiness whenever you desire; for your pleasure and personal confidence.
Feeling sexy is related to self-image, but it’s more about how we feel about ourselves. Sexiness is a state of mind.
This self-confidence must be conquered by you. Validation from others is important; feeds the ego, but being aware of how powerful and worthy you are, to pursue what you want and not settling for less than that, is sexy AF.
Don’t be dependent on outside validation: feel good in yourself, for yourself. Own your female power.
Each woman is distinct (as each man) and how we achieve our best, varies. There are some strategies that, in general, help us to feel sexy/sexier. Here are a few:
How to boost your sexiness:
- Buy new lingerie, one that you feel good in. Don’t think that someone will like it — it’s for you to like it. Watch yourself in the mirror, admire how it suits you. Imagine how you will feel when he/she undresses it; visualise how it will be undressed…
- Move your body: put on a sensual playlist and dance, it’s liberating. Try pole dance lessons (it’s so empowering), go on fitness classes, do yoga in a class or at home. The goal is to move your body with a purpose, to feel your body, to have power and will over it.
- Wear clothes that enhance parts of your body you feel more confident about (boobs, waist, neck, bottom,…).
- Buy a new pair of high heels. Besides lingerie, is there any other piece of clothing that makes us feel sexier?
- Use a different hairstyle or bolder make-up. Even if you won’t go out — use it for yourself.
- Pump yourself up: book a spa, a facial mask, a new haircut, buy that lipstick you always wanted to use but never had the “appropriate occasion”. Spoil yourself, you deserve it! You will feel more attractive and confident.
- Masturbate. For the pleasure of it, and to get in touch with yourself, in intimacy. And why not try it a (new) toy?
- Flirt with a stranger. It doesn’t have to lead somewhere (if it does, it does!), but flirting is an elixir for our self-esteem and sexiness levels. Ignite a flame in your look, and flirt your way in!
Even being a defender of self-care and self-love as I am, I know that we can’t feel good about ourselves all the time. And that’s ok.
You don’t need to feel sexy every single day. Allow yourself to feel like an ugly duck on a shitty day, to have your I-hate-my-mirror moment. That’s perfectly natural; those are only moments, they don’t reflect your true self. But don’t get stuck in the negative: invest in your self-esteem.
A final thought: I am 45 years old, and I never felt sexier than now. I feel empowered, feminine, independent and strong. I stopped to need men’s validation — I welcome it, but I don’t depend on it. I definitely don’t have a “perfect” body or face, but I know what I want, and what pleasures me. I know my values and my strengths.
I am damn proud of the woman I became. I am sexy, and I own it.