Work is wearing you down. This is how you can bounce back.

Work-related distress is undermining your happiness and making you sick, but you can make it better by learning how to draw the line.

by: E.B. Johnson

It’s no secret that work can be extremely stressful. No matter what your job might be, or what career path you might be treading, stress seems to be a part of the journey. Team projects get complicated. Deadlines are past before you know it. When work-related distress starts to get to us, it can take a major toll on both our health and our happiness.

Work-related distress can be a complicated issue that takes a lot of nuance and understanding to resolve. Our jobs are a necessary evil, and many of the aspects that leave us stressed out at work are beyond our control. So how can get back on an even-keel and manage the exhaustion and the pressure of work? We can start by getting real, and learning how to set the boundaries we need in order to safeguard the peace and happiness of our personal lives.

What is work related distress?

Work-related distress is a serious state that can undermine our overall happiness, and tear apart our mental and physical wellbeing. It’s no secret that work is stressful, but when that stress starts eating into your personal world — it equates to big problems. If your workload has become more of a burden than a responsibility, it might be time to take a step back and reassess.

Also known as burnout, this type of stress is a particularly toxic one and one that can be tricky to rework or reframe. Jobs are necessary things, but the haze of a physical and emotional burnout can be a dangerous one. Whether it’s long hours or an unmanageable workload, being overwhelmed by your employment can cause you to become more depressed, more cynical and even more lethargic; further leading to a loss of opportunities and happiness.

Overcoming our work-related distress is possible, but it takes a tremendous amount of both commitment and patience. While we can attempt to overhaul our personal lives overnight — the same can’t be said our professional lives, which are forever beholden to the performance and feedback of others. Have some compassion for yourself and understand that big changes happen in little steps. Grow your understanding of your burnout in order to build active pathways to overcoming it.

Signs of work-related distress.

Your body is both a complicated and dynamic thing. When we’re crumbling under pressure, there are a number of natural alarm systems it sends up, letting us know that we’re crossed the line and need to recalibrate. From sleep disturbances to decreased immune function, there are a number of symptoms that could signify your job is getting the best of you.

Sleep disturbances

When we’re stressed out, one of the first things to go is our sleep. Whether you have trouble falling asleep, or you have trouble staying asleep, problems at work can equal big problems for your sleep patterns. Some of this can come down to depressive tendencies, while much of it comes down the the simple physical and emotional exhaustion caused by stress.

Deterioration of physical health

A study of doctors in the UK showed that those who experience more stress at work are more likely to experience ill health or health problems like frequent headaches, heartburn, ear-ringing and more. Roughly 19%-29% of participants reported ill health, with a full 69% claiming to have fatigue and other negative physical and mental symptoms.

Increased risk of substance abuse

The same study showed that those suffering from work-related stress also had an increased risk of developing substance abuse or dependency issues. About 44% of the doctors surveyed in the work-stress study qualified as “binge-drinkers” while an additional 5% met the criteria for alcohol dependence. Perhaps more surprising were the 8% who also reported binge-eating disorders — demonstrating (potentially)both emotional and control issues.

Mood swings or emotional distress

Stress takes a toll on our other emotions as well, and shortens the fuse which we use to time and gauge our reactions. When we’re struggling with mood swings or emotional distress, the culprit can often be traced (in part) back to our professional lives and the distress or unease we are experiencing there.

Decreased immune function

Work-related distress wears us down, and seriously erodes our ability to heal and recover appropriately from that stress. Over time, this can lead to decreased immune function which means more head colds, aches, pains and bugs — as well as the natural exhaustion that comes along with those here-and-there illnesses. Likewise, it can also make you more prone to suffer from other, and more serious medical conditions, including pulmonary and cardiac issues, as well as chronic headaches and more.

How to overcome overwork.

The good news? It’s possible to overcome your overwork patterns, but it takes commitment and it takes a lot of self-derived courage. By identifying what’s really necessary and what really isn’t, and reaching out the support systems being impacted by your burnout, you can find the motivation you need to change — but it takes some internal work. The choice is ultimately yours. You can remain a slave to your career, or find your way back to happiness.

1. Ask yourself if it’s really necessary

The first step in beating your overwork is assessing whether or not it’s adding or detracting from your life. While everything at work can come with a sense of urgency, it’s often not that urgent (when we actually step back and take a second look). That takes a very honest assessment, however, and a commitment to making things better for yourself.

Ask yourself if all this extra time you’re putting in is really worth it. Plug it into your longterm happiness quotient and honestly assess whether or not it’s going to add to (or takeaway from) your overall wellbeing and sense of fulfillment and authentic joy. If it doesn’t, it’s time to change things. Getting over our need to overwork takes looking at the longterm, not just the here-and-now.

Commit to the things that truly require you, and commit to the things that make you happy. Draw the line with anything else and make it clear that those boundaries are important to the happiness of all parties involved.

2. Recognize how you impact others

The stress of work often seems like a one-sided or self-contained problem, but it’s not. When we’re in serious distress at work, it leaks into other parts of our lives and starts to impact the people that we hold most dear. Work stress is also family stress, partner stress, relationship stress. Sometimes, reminding ourselves of how our professional distress impacts others is the push we need to start making changes.

Sit down with your closest friends, family and loved ones. Express how you’re feeling, and express to them too what’s going on at work. Ask them how that stress has affected the relationship you share with them, and try to come up with solutions for correcting those issues over time. Often, hearing just how much your stress impacts others is enough to see that something has to give.

Everything in our lives is connected and it we owe it to ourselves, as much as to those we love, to create environments that are peaceful, happy and fulfilled. Don’t shy away from the brutal reality of how your work distress is affecting you. There’s no shame is getting real with others, and there’s no shame is realizing that there’s a problem that needs to be addressed. No job is worth the people we care for; no work is more important than the people we have sworn to love, defend or support.

3. Forge new relationships

According to Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter — contributers for Scientific American — connecting with others is one of the best ways to combat our burnout and tap back into the positivity we need to remain resilient to the stress of our day-to-day lives. In their article, Conquering Burnout, Maslach and Leiter wrote:

“Receiving good vibes from others is an uplifting experience, but so, too, is expressing them to others.”

Surrounding yourself with others who can take a compassionate, yet detached look at what you’re going through can be extremely helpful in assisting you to shape your own perspective. They can highlight issues you might have missed, or opportunities that you couldn’t see through the stress of the entire situation. By forging new relationships and reaching out to better the ones you already have, you’re actually boosting your ability to deal with stress and overcoming the burnout that’s plaguing your life.

4. Set some boundaries

If you don’t carve out the mental space you need to detach from who and what was, you won’t be able to break free of the shackles your professional life has over you. Overwork doesn’t go away on its own. It follows us, manifesting again and again in a number of different manners, compounding the stresss and undermining our overall mental and emotional health. We have to set boundaries in order to let the healing process come full circle.

Have enough respect for yourself to set boundaries with those who injure you more than they lift you up. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, and honor your worth by letting others know what you will and will not tolerate.

Embrace the emotions that make you uncomfortable and recognize the people and the triggers that bring out the best in you and your psyche.Learning to love ourselves takes time and effort, but knowing our worth isn’t difficult. As a human alive on this earth, you’re worth all the happiness, love and effort in the world. Only you can allow someone else to deny you that. When you start to recognize this, you’re on the path to being strong enough to stand up for your personal life again.

5. Drop the comparisons

When we’re feeling insecure, we can become obsessed with comparing ourselves against others. This can be exasperated by the use of social media and platforms like Facebook and Instagram, which operate entirely around this idea of “keeping up with the Jones’”. In turn, this can lead to us overworking, in order to get access to the things we want.

Stop comparing yourself to Sheila, who puts in 80 hours a week. Or Jim, who’s pulling doubles every other weekend. You’re not them, nor do you have the same life circumstances. Only when you drop the comparisons can you effectively stick to your boundaries and find a way to start sticking up for yourself.

Envy can leave us feeling anxious, depressed and worse than ever, and those feelings are only exasperated when we spend our time comparing our failures and successes to others. When we compare, we can drive ourselves into insane behaviors and unhealthy choices that leave us more unhappy and unfulfilled overall.If you’re truly looking to unplug and take a step away from the desk, you have to stop comparing your journey to someone else’s. After all, you have no idea what their reality is behind the scenes.

6. Learn how to be a little more selfish

We often become bogged down and overwhelmed because we feel as though we can’t say “no”. This inability to stick up for ourselves can stem from childhood trauma, but it can also extend from generally poor self-esteem or self-defeating thoughts and negativity. If you truly want to overcome your burnout, you’ve got to start by learning how to be a little bit more selfish; something that doesn’t come naturally to us all.

You will only be able to reconnect with your happiness once you’ve created enough space to express yourself in the ways that suit you best.Self-actualization is the way by which we find meaning in our life, and it’s also the way by which we build up self-esteem and happiness in our day-to-day lives. If you’ve found yourself caught up completely in the desires and demands of others, odds are you’ve lost this space and this freedom to express yourself in the ways that you need. Learn how to be a little more selfish and start saying “no” so that you can take time for you to do the things that you need to.

Saying no starts with boundaries and communicating those boundaries effectively and civilly to the people around us. If you don’t have time for those extra tasks or meetings — say so, and make it clear that what you’re doing is best for both parties involved. You can assert yourself without being problematic, and you can have boundaries without losing it all. The secret is taking the time to get to know (intimately) what boundaries you need and the best ways to communicate those new boundaries to the people around you (managers, bosses and CEO’s included).

7. Find your real meaning

One of the best ways by which we can overcome our burnout and find happiness again is to reconnect with the meaning that brings us authentic and fulfilling joy. We can do this by reattaching those elements which bring us confidence, self-esteem or even just small moments of fleeting happiness. It doesn’t matter what gives our lives meaning, it only matters that we have authentic meaning in them; and that’s a process that can only be defined by you and you alone.

Nurture the connections that you share with others and really dig into the ones that help you grow in ways that are both meaningful and transcendent. Pick up those old hobbies and pastimes that make you feel good about yourself, or make you smile when you least expect it. Likewise, volunteering is a great way to give back while finding a way to reconnect with truly beautiful things in life with meaning far greater than your own. Set purposeful goals and pursue them confidently. You can only find meaning by looking for it.

It’s important to remember, however, that happiness alone is not meaning. Happiness in-and-of itself is just a feeling, as fleeting as it is hard to capture; meanwhile, meaning is something with value both to ourselves and those around us. Both are essential to a happy life, but both are not created equal. Happiness is the path by which we find our meaning. Travel it well and often.

Putting it all together…

Overwork and burnout are serious problems that inflict a huge portion of the population. We live in a culture that exalts the stressed and over-busy worker, but this pattern of living can seriously erode both your physical and mental wellbeing. From decreased immune function, to mental decline and the decimation of our strength and fitness — burnout isn’t admirable, and it isn’t healthy. If you want to find true happiness again, you have to learn how to draw the line and create the work-life balance you need.

Ask yourself if putting in all this extra work is really worth the time. Will it truly add to your life 10 or 20 years from now? Or will working that extra late night lead to a lonely future and less happiness than you’d have if you just went home?Assess what’s really needed, and set the boundaries you need to safeguard your personal life. Your work life impacts those around you. Evaluate your closest relationships and forge new ones that encourage you to draw the line and master the balance between your work life and your personal life. Drop the comparisons and learn how to be a little more selfish. Getting the ratio just right can be hard, but easy once you’ve cleared the waters. Find the real meaning behind your life, and pursue that in order to keep yourself fulfilled and focused on life outside of work. At the end of the day, the true beauty in life happens outside of the boardroom.