Overworked Or Burnt Out? You May Need More Feminine Energy

8 practical tips easy to overlook but essential for well-being.

When you work long and hard, it’s easy to get out of balance and find yourself exhausted, overworked, and frustrated. One likely reason you’re fried is that no matter your gender, your feminine energy needs attention.

Yes, that’s right—your feminine energy.

I will explain what I mean by feminine and masculine energies and the importance of balance in this piece. Then I will suggest eight practical tips that can help you feel more balanced, happy, and healthy.

We are born into a world of opposites. Dark, light. Hot, cold. Summer, winter. Right brain, left brain. Yin, yang.

Masculine and feminine.

Everyone has masculine and feminine energy, which has nothing to do with biology, sexuality, or gender. There are positive, bright, or mature expressions of both masculine and feminine energy and immature, dark, and toxic manifestations.

For example, women can be purposeful, strong, and driven. While our culture defaults to associating these qualities with men, that’s a superficial interpretation. These traits are just the healthy expression of masculine energy; it doesn’t matter who’s doing the expressing.

On the flip side, feminine traits — like being sensitive, caring, or kind — are not exclusive to women. Men can be kind; men can also be tough — as can any person of any gender.

The importance of balance and integration.

We’re naturally attracted to things in balance. We enjoy food prepared with the right amount of savory and sweetness. The same goes for a good cocktail — when the balance is right between sour and sweet, we know it.

Balance is essential in athletics, art, and music. There’s nothing more enjoyable to the human ear than vocalists harmonizing together.

We’re naturally attracted to people who behave with balance. It’s so easy to be around someone who can listen well, ask appropriate questions and express themselves clearly.

Think of people you admire, and I’ll bet they embody a wide range of talents, skills, and personality traits across a broad spectrum.

They’re well-balanced.

Yet, when we overdo the most familiar parts of our psyche and neglect those parts of ourselves that create balance, we make problems for ourselves and others.

In addition, being out of balance opens the door to our psyche’s darker elements, leaving us stressed out, angry, bitter, resentful, or vindictive.

Out of balance masculinity shows up as hostility, aggression, arrogance, and being overbearing, hypercritical, or blatantly rude. (To reiterate my earlier point, women can exhibit the traits of toxic masculinity — though they’re more likely to be punished for such behavior than men are. But, of course, the reverse is true of men and toxic femininity, too.)

Life is a journey to wholeness.

When we’re younger, we set out to discover our strengths and make our mark in the world. Then as we age, we become more aware of what is less developed within, and we work on those aspects. Consciously or not, we create balance by integrating that which is less familiar to us.

The joining of opposites creates wholeness.

A more complete, healthy, and productive self emerges when integrating our positive masculine and feminine energies. When we do so, we’re apt to be more balanced, feel better about ourselves and bring more goodness into the world.

Before I get to the tips, a few more points on masculine and feminine energy.

Masculine and feminine energy

Feminine energy is the energy of life.

It’s the energy of “being,” not “doing” (which is associated with masculine energy). Bright side traits of feminine energy include creativity, being in the flow, intuition, nurturing, listening, love, openness, empathy, and the expression of feelings.

On the other hand, the immature side of feminine energy can manifest as people-pleasing, not speaking up, manipulation, or being indecisive, submissive, or unfocused.

Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama, Brené Brown, Bob Dylan, and Keanu Reeves manifest positive feminine energy.

Positive masculine energy is associated with action, focus, strength, mission, purpose, drive, achievement, power, logic, reason, directness, clarity, predictability, stability, thinking, task, and structure.

Conversely, the dark side of masculine energy manifests as being controlling, dismissive, overactive, coercive, and reckless.

Examples of positive masculine energy include William Wallace (Mel Gibson’s character in Braveheart), Muhammad Ali, Katniss Everdeen of The Hunger Games, Malala Yousafzai, Emmeline Pankhurst, and Florence Nightingale.

Masculine or feminine energy is not more necessary or respectable than the other — instead, they’re complementary. Masculine energy needs to be in balance with feminine energy.

Here’s one example of how this works: Masculine energy has a task focus; it wants to get things done. Feminine energy is people-focused. Combine the two, and you have a person who gets things done and engages people.

How to develop more feminine energy

If you get angry, frustrated, too aggressive, overworked, scattered, or exhausted, you’re likely running on too much masculine energy and not enough feminine.

All of the following practices require feminine energy and can help you get back in balance.

1. Make time for reflection.

When we’re too busy, we rarely give our brains time to rest, which they need to function optimally. Instead, we’re moving from one thing to the next, never shutting down.

• Take 15 minutes a day to sit quietly and let your mind wander.
• Journal for a few minutes in the morning.
• Take a nap.
• Go for a walk.

2. Practice meditation.

When we connect to our higher self through meditation, we directly access the source of feminine energy within us, our life force. A regular meditation practice opens the pathway to our hearts. The more we keep ourselves open, the more feminine energy flows.

3. Develop your intuition.

Trust your feelings more. Start by paying attention to your body's subtle messages and notice when your stomach, chest, or throat feels tight. Notice when you feel relaxed. Observe what you are doing or thinking in each situation. What’s the connection? Pause before making decisions. Look within for guidance. What does your gut tell you?

4. Be in nature.

Nature is abundant with life, with feminine energy, which explains why we are attracted to forests, mountains, and oceans — it’s restorative. We intuitively know taking regular walks, hiking, and looking up at the stars are recharging.

5. Be creative.

Creative energy is feminine energy. When we manifest an idea into reality, we tap into our feminine energy. Writing, painting, cooking, drawing, dancing, and playing music are expressions of feminine energy.

So are things like putting together a presentation, developing plans, brainstorming, and developing new business ventures. When we immerse ourselves in creative activities, we enter into a feminine energy flow.

We experience the magic of creation. It energizes us and unleashes joy into our bodies and mind.

6. Build emotional capacity.

Any work requiring high degrees of logic and rationality draws on masculine energy. Emotions flow from our feminine energy. Take a few minutes each day to notice how you feel. Start with how your body feels, then see how you feel.

The more you do this, the more in touch you’ll be with your feminine energy. So if talking about your feelings is difficult, this process will gradually make it easier.

7. Enjoy the little things.

The harder we work, the harder it is to disengage. We push on, and before we know it, we’re not enjoying life as much as possible. Take time to savor the moment, read a book, laugh, take a warm bath, stretch out on the floor, or call a friend.

They’re little moments of luxury where you can enjoy life's simple pleasures.

8. Embrace transformation.

Feminine energy isn’t just about caring, nurturing, and creativity. It’s also about letting go of the old and bringing in the new. Masculine energy is associated with stability and reliability. Feminine energy is the energy of change and transformation.

If something isn’t working for you any longer — a job or the place you live — it may be time for a shift. Lean into the part of you seeking a new frontier, a fresh start. The old must go before the new comes in. Call on your feminine energy.

Final thoughts.

When integrating masculine and feminine energy, we can be powerful and compassionate, bold and kind, purposeful and caring, strong-willed and patient, demanding and collaborative.

We’ll make the world a better place, and we’ll also feel healthier, happier, and more at peace with ourselves and others.

Bye-bye burnout.

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