Overwhelmed? Here’s how you can overcome it

Move those negative thoughts out of the overwhelm area to manageable

Ever notice how, when we’re desperate for a particular outcome, we stress over it and overestimate the odds of the worst things that could happen?

In the process, we enthusiastically underestimate our own ability to cope with it. Our faith in ourselves dives to a dismal low.

This has happened to me when I wanted something to happen. The instances are too many to recount and include both minor and major events.

Overwhelm is something we all experience at some point, and often, on a daily basis.

“I missed the bus! Oh no! I’ll be late. My boss will be mad at me.” And yada yada yada to “will he fire me?”

I mean, look at that! From a few minutes delay to losing the job! And all of it in the head!

“I didn’t study this lesson. What if a question from this carries the maximum marks? I’ll fail the exam. I won’t get ahead. My future will go down the drain”

This one’s a classic. From one lesson skipped to an unknown future killed before it even started!

Anxious thoughts overwhelm us with all kinds of possibilities. When we learn to estimate the real odds of what we imagine will happen, we can find a way to cope and render our overwhelm powerless. Or at least move those negative thoughts out of the overwhelm area to manageable.

How?

Ah, that’s not a million dollar question, fortunately.

It is easy, I’ve tried it and it works.

I use this two-step plan to work with these anxious thoughts.

Step 1: Estimate the odds of what we worry about actually happening.

Step 2: Make a plan of action to cope.

How to estimate the real odds

Here’s what to do:

• Write down the thought that’s worrying you.
• Then list all the likely outcomes.
• On a scale of 1–10, rate each outcome on its likelihood of happening where 1 is lowest and 10 is highest.
• Take each outcome.

— Has it happened before?

— How often?

— What could possibly prevent it from happening again?

— Are there other probable outcomes in addition to the ones you fear?

Now remember, the anxious thought is only a guess, not reality.

Let’s take an example

I am worried about a presentation I have to make. I am afraid it won’t be received well. Possible outcomes are:

• The audience loves it
• Some people love it, some hate it.
• I am sure I did a great job and don’t care about who thinks what.

All three have an equal chance of happening.

How do I cope?

• I start by asking myself: What will be the actual impact of each of these outcomes for me?

Truth is, we all have a tendency to overestimate the actual impact and the consequences of each outcome. What I am saying is — it is usually not as bad as we imagine. More often than not, the outcomes are far milder and have less of an impact than we assume.

• Now, I ask myself, how will I deal with it if what I fear actually happens? What can I do to reduce the consequences of this? What can I do to minimize its impact on my emotions? How can I maximize the positive stuff in my life to balance or compensate for the negative event?

Here’s the thing — there is always a way to cope with just about anything no matter how scary it is. Look back and reflect on how you’ve successfully dealt with several awful things in the past and survived and managed to move on and take strength from it. I am sure you also know of many people who’ve overcome their overwhelm and emerged stronger.

If you still can’t find a way to cope, think about one step you could take to tackle the situation. It can be big or small. Still nothing? Ask others for ideas and weigh the situation — you will be surprised how much easier it is to do that!

Some tips to cope with overwhelm

• Don’t go overboard with your imagination when you think of various outcomes. When you find yourself blowing things out of proportion in your head, please stop! Instead, switch to finding ways to cope.
• Just because you imagine the worst doesn’t increase its likelihood of happening.
• Don’t blame yourself for the bad things that happen in your life. Every event is influenced by a number of factors, many of which you may not even be aware of! And bad things happen to everyone! It is all in the way we perceive it!
• Remember — nothing is constant. Everything changes and there is truth in the phrase “this too shall pass”
• When you realize that you can actually cope with your worst fears, it can heal and empower.

Think about it.

Harnessing your mind back to the present moment and being aware can help a great deal with coping with life’s pressures and keep overwhelm at bay.

How do you cope with overwhelm?

This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by 314,785+ people.

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