Overcoming the Birthday Blues

It’s your party, but just because you can cry if you want to, doesn’t mean you have to…

Another year, another birthday.

I’m finally on the other side of mine for the year, and honestly, it was much better than expected. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I allowed my feelings and bad memories to get the best of me.

For some people, birthdays are like Christmas: the most wonderful time of the year. However, I wrote this to specifically speak to those who have had negative experiences on their birthdays and may feel like there’s a dark cloud over their special day.

I can relate.

In the past, I spoke pretty candidly about my many struggles to overcome the birthday blues and everything it took to get there.

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Nevertheless, I want to be quite candid; overcoming the psychological effects is still a work in progress.

The Blue Birthday Cloud

If you’ve lived a life where others have gone above and beyond to undermine your special day, you may have internalized those feelings. And each year, instead of looking forward to your birthday, you may find yourself struggling to overcome feelings of anxiety, depression, and other unpleasant emotions that only serve to make you feel sad when you should be having fun and enjoying life.

Moreover, if you have decided to move forward in a more positive direction, trying to suppress or ignore those feelings can be tempting. While this may make you feel better for some time, it will only cause those feelings to re-emerge later down the road. So, if you are experiencing such struggles during your birthday, the “ignore it, and it’ll go away” approach is ill-advised.

Overcoming the B-Day Blues

Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash

How, then, do you prevent these feelings from being a raincloud over your birth anniversary? Well, everyone is different, but here’s what helps me:

Journaling: Journaling is my latest obsession and one that has changed my life for the better. This is because they allow me to express my feelings about any and everything. Also, by purchasing specialized journals, you can really focus on specific aspects of your life you want to change and improve.
Remember the good times: I’ve admittedly struggled through several birthdays throughout my life. However, not every moment of every birthday was horrible. I’ve actually had quite a few amazing ones as well, even if some negative moments peppered within them. So, whenever I find myself dreading my next birthday, I remind myself of all the fantastic moments I’ve had in the past and how I may have even better memories waiting for me in the future.
Celebrate yourself: This is where I used to fall short. Due to my complicated childhood and tiny social circle, I often felt overlooked on my birthday. Over the years, this caused me to crave acknowledgment from others, above all else, which ultimately left me waiting for others to celebrate me more than I celebrated myself. However, I realized that your birthday should be spent doing exactly what you (and only you) want to do. So, if you don’t like parties, don’t have one; Likewise, if you do love parties, remember that you don’t need 100 people to have one; all it takes is inviting those you love and truly enjoy their company. These days, I always make my own birthday plans and spend at least part of the day/week celebrating by myself. I always want to remind myself that even a party for one is still a party and that having others celebrate you is great but not essential.
Plan for the future: Birthdays are just one day of the year. Use your birthday to remind yourself that it’s OK to celebrate yourself and your life as often as you’d like. Also, be sure to take inventory of your life goals and make a plan about how to achieve them more effectively. This step helps me not only get excited for my big day but also for the entire rest of my life.

Let this be your last sad birthday

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to overcome the birthday blues, you must make a conscious decision to let your last sad birthday be your last unhappy birthday.

Seriously.

Starting today, you need to resolve to do your best to not only enjoy your birthday but every day you have left on earth. It may sound cliche, but none of us know how long we will be here. No matter how troubled your past may be, it can remain in the past if you decide to move forward in a more positive direction.

If nothing else, birthdays give you an excuse to be overly self-interested and happy to be in the skin you’re in. Take advantage of this and learn to look forward to the one day you can unapologetically steal the spotlight and celebrate your life.

Have you ever experienced the birthday blues?

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