Overcoming The Anxiety of House-Shaming

Are you embarrassed to show the real house?

Recently, while watching one of the Netflix series on home makeover, I came across a brand new term called house-shaming.

I agree that most of us in general don’t really like guests coming over, especially those snobby ones. But when the family takes it on a negative note deliberately and they are ashamed of showing their house to outsiders — it’s called house-shaming.

Housebarrasement develops a deep-rooted overwhelming feeling in individuals that sometimes even leads to anxiety disorders.

After doing some research I got to know that house shaming like body shaming has existed in the lives of many since forever. So it’s not just me who feel conscious in inviting people to home, there are other real people like me!

I am a new mom and frankly, at times I’ve felt scared of calling friends over to our place during the initial postpartum days — because let’s admit it people are rarely kind to new moms.

Kids are of course one reason who love making a mess in the house and we actually can’t do anything much about it, but sometimes there may be many other reasons that a person is not comfortable in calling someone home.

The Nomadic Life

As modern-day independent folks, we all at some point have lived in different rented apartments in different cities because of higher education and work. The struggle to fit in your original stuff altogether in a new place is always a big challenge — which sometimes really does not go along with the existing aesthetics and space. I have lived in rented accommodations for ten years, and I know how it feels when those curtains and windows are never meant to go together.

The Affordability

There always lies a possibility where you can be house shamed by close friends and immediate family members because you might be living in a budget place. Those judgments make you feel less, and you will eventually start questioning your financial decisions. Whether to spend and make a dazzling impression on those who demean you and your existence.

The Comparison

Having a house but not up to the standards of those pretty interior magazines is something which you’ll relate to the most. Above everything sits today’s internet generation inspired by Pinterest and google images, who have benchmarked real lives to studio lights and advertisement sets.

Well, whatever the reason truly is,

House-shaming is intended to make a person feel bad.

And towards the end, it’s up to you how you deal with it. What goes in a person’s personal mess is always gossip material to the outside world.

So let’s see how to overcome this fear without actually making any big expenses that you may regret later. I tried practicing these things and it really helped my overly conscious brain to sit back, relax and enjoy the happiness that I badly needed.

1. What looks good on a magazine cover may or may not look good in your room. Hold on and take a few samples first. Keep photographs of your room handy and try matching things in a decor shop first before you swipe the card.
2. I am a shopaholic but I’m not rich. It is seen that we get super excited during the warehouse sales for home decor and do a lot of impulsive shopping. Don’t buy it because you picked it first. But because you need it first. Never do furniture shopping until you are a hundred percent sure about the exact measurements of the room. A good deal, but a bad fit will bring sorrow instead of joy.
3. Create your space in your home. You like to do something in some ways at your home. But you’ve never really taken a pledge to make it happen your way. Start gathering ideas that reflect your personality. And just do it. Make yourself cozy at home. It’s need not be costly, but creative for sure.
4. No expensive piece of decor would ever match a self hand made stuff. Involve all your family members in different DIYs and just have some fun. There are so many videos — try something. Believe me, that’ll be the most precious possession. If you are a football fan, bring that style to your home. Don’t hide your things in the cupboards just to make your home look perfect all the time. Your place should reflect your personality. The idea is all about living in that place, be it small or big or own or rent — it’s yours after all.
5. While creating space in any house during the planning stage, leave some rooms and walls just bare. Don’t think of it from a short-term perspective. Especially if you have toddlers, it’s good to leave a lot of open space. Your creativity will unfold with time.
6. Practicing minimalism is not that bad. If you are managed with two saucepans, keep two. Don’t do unnecessary accumulation. It will create more mess than convenience. Decluttering is the ultimate goal for beautiful and clean homes. Lesser the stuff — lesser will be the effort to maintain everything. Put your rarely needed items on rental websites and do timely cleaning. Don’t let your things go out of sight.
7. Don’t buy a bigger house because of any societal and emotional pressure. Mortgage and financial commitments in terms of buying a house can create big dents in your pocket. And it’s quite a personal thing. Plan, think, and prepare as much as you can. Look at all the options and only then sign the final agreements.

Start ignoring the shamers. You might be opting for a sound financial strategy by not buying a house or not renting a bigger place because of some dicey job situations — and it should really not become a matter of concern for outsiders. It’s good to keep the inner story hidden. Keep safe hand distance from the gossip buddies.

Remember to keep yourself first.

Please don’t land up in pleasing a generation of the internet who spend hours comparing their lives with someone sitting miles away from them.

Even after all this, If it bothers you so much then; For shamers buy a board that says —

Don’t mind the mess, there’s a happy family living inside!

A house is meant to be imperfect in hundreds of things, and there must always be room for improvement. A picture-perfect house is shown once it is ready to go for a sale. Own the house, as the real owner does. Houses are constructed but homes are made by individuals and families.

A home with some scratches, some broken furniture , some stains on carpet is just alright! It’s good in a way because those are the real memories. Cherish the joy and don’t get tapped in house-shaming.