Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Feeling like an imposter is common because you actually are and everyone around you is an imposter.

Image created by the author using Stable Diffusion

Do I have the proper qualification to tell this story and speak about imposter syndrome? Talk about impostor syndrome? After all, this is a psychological topic and I have no relevant degree, even if I had one, it wouldn’t change the situation. Hmm, I’ve personally experienced this and continue experiencing it. I feel it, but maybe I’m wrong and my feelings are wrong, and my research is wrong. Am I even competent to write what I think?

This kind of internal dialogue usually occurs in individuals with Imposter Syndrome when they do something new or something that they are not 1000% sure about.

I can clearly remember how I felt when I first read about Imposter Syndrome in one of the dev blogs. It was like, “Wait a second, is that a well-known thing? So I’m not an imposter, I'm just in some bad mental condition, yay!!”. But am I?

I quickly delved into this topic to understand how and why it happens and if there is a way to become more stable and not feel anxious whenever something goes wrong.

What Is An Imposter Syndrome

What I love about Imposter Syndrome is that the name says it all: a person with Imposter Syndrome only needs to hear the name of the syndrome to know they have it.

Imposter Syndrome is an internal psychological experience of feeling phony or fake in some area of life, despite any success you have made in that area.

Regardless of your education, work history, and accomplishments, the syndrome is always here and no one is insured from experiencing it.

You can think about this as a bonus for being a high-performing individual. Are you a high-achieving individual? Take Imposter Syndrome to home as a gift, and welcome to the club!

How Can I Be Sure I Have Imposter Syndrome?

OMG, OMG, nooo, how is this possible?? What now? What did I do wrong? Am I completely dumb? Okay, I will fix this, of course, this is my job, they pay me this much, so I must be worth it. Of course, they are not so stupid to pay that much to some idiot. I will do my best and no one will know. Why am I so slow? I’m not the one who is capable of fixing this, am I looking in the right direction? I’m not professional, f***, breathe out, idiot, and stop sweating! That other guy… I saw how he handled things like this much better and faster, but not me! Someone will notice… Oh, wait, here it is! Ah, simple, it’s always on the surface. Done! I’m not that bad after all, thank God.

If your internal dialogue is similar to this when you cannot immediately solve a problem, I recommend reading this story to the end.

Have I overcome this after more than 10 years of experience in the industry? Hmm, not sure! But is it possible to be efficient and productive with such internal dialogues and self-doubts? It depends. Over time I developed my personal methods on how to handle these kinds of thoughts, but you are going to do that on your own.

Actually, there is no overcoming guideline that will work for everyone. The thing is that it’s not about overcoming the imposter syndrome but understanding one simple idea.

After all, we are not born with specific configurations and we are free to be unique and different in every aspect of our lives. The fact that Evolution gave us such an overengineered brain does not mean that we should do all the shit that we do without having any struggle.

Do you know that Imposter Syndrome is mostly widespread among high-achieving individuals?

Dan Abramov, the creator of Redux, a React contributor, and well-known among software engineers, wrote an article about the things he doesn’t know (you may suddenly be much more knowledgeable than him), and here is what he says.

What’s more, no matter how experienced you get, you may still find yourself switching between feeling capable, inadequate (“Impostor syndrome”), and overconfident (“Dunning–Kruger effect”). It depends on your environment, job, personality, teammates, mental state, time of day, and so on.

We can admit our knowledge gaps, may or may not feel like impostors, and still have deeply valuable expertise that takes years of hard work to develop.

Or a tweet I came across while writing this article.

People laugh at themselves and industry standards and want to share their shortcomings with others.

In the region I live people say, “We all have leaky butts” with a tone of irony.

Why Is This So Common in the Tech Industry?

While imposter syndrome isn’t confined to any one profession, it tends to affect certain fields more than others.

The tech industry is one of the fastest-growing areas that changes very frequently. In such a dynamically changing environment, staying up to date with technologies and industry standards can be incredibly draining, consuming every ounce of a person’s energy. This can significantly increase the risk of emotional burnout.

Constant learning is part of our day-to-day work as we face new things very frequently. This creates an illusion that we don’t know what we’re doing, that everything is new and unfamiliar, and that our knowledge and competence are outdated.

As a result, we may slow down in our work or even make mistakes, while a coworker who has already caught up with the latest updates performs very well. The difference may be a few hours or days of studying the material or even a year. But we perceive this as our own incompetence and stick to this feeling instead of researching the material that we lack step by step.

We focus on illusory fears and lose sight of important things.

This can significantly contribute to imposter syndrome, even in individuals with a lot of experience and a huge knowledge base.

Yes, Gaslighting Is Involved In Most Of Cases

Gaslighting is the manipulation of a person’s sense of reality and the confusion of the victim’s mind in order to gain power and authority.

Everyone has experienced gaslighting at some point and not just once.

Are you sure about that? You have a bad memory! Stop saying stupid things! You’re being too sensitive! Do you call this a painting? What is this, a horse, a table, a plane, a unicorn? I don’t know how you even survived! You are overreacting. Don’t do that, just don’t do! I think you are forgetting what really happened. You’re doing it wrong, and you’re not capable of it, step aside, let me show you.

These are examples of manipulative speech that abusers mostly incorporate.

A nervous or impatient parent can interrupt the child when he/she is doing something imperfect and critique with words like “Stop doing that! You are doing it completely wrong. Why don’t you understand even this simple thing? Learn from your brother. Next time he will do it. You’re a hindrance, not a help”.

Or a school teacher who asks a student questions and, upon receiving incorrect answers, ridicules them in front of the entire class.

That child will become an adult someday. Now, imagine this person in a work meeting, interrupted during the discussion. They might immediately think they said something foolish or incorrect and respond to the interruption by falling silent for a while.

The next time someone directly mentions my incompetence will be the last time I am allowed to participate in business meetings.

Children are most vulnerable, and repeated accusations can create a strong foundation for impostor syndrome.

As a result, a person with no self-trust is easy prey for Imposter Syndrome. So be cautious who you open up to and question any authority.

The goal of gaslighters is to make you feel wrong and lose confidence and self-trust so that you think and feel the way they want you to.

The toxicity is everywhere; in our families, kindergartens, schools, offices, public places, social groups, and friendships. It is the magma that envelops our social lives, and we encounter it in large quantity if we are not selective about our surroundings.

The gas lighter wants you to be amorphous so that they can influence you with their will and control as many aspects of your life as possible.

Be careful, because there will always be toxic people who don’t respect others. Be selective. Filter out the abusive people around you and you will feel much better.

Believe In Yourself

We tend to focus on things that we are not good at and it’s actually not a bad thing. However, we totally ignore things that we already achieved and are good at, and we may never ever notice them if we continue to focus on our lack. There always will be a lack of something; some skill or some knowledge, but hey, you should acknowledge yourself first.

Even when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to focus on things we lack but the others succeeded at. Have you tried to list the things that you are most confident about instead of digging into your flaws?

Professionalism is not discrete, especially in dynamic and fast-growing professions with undefined domains and unexpected behavior.

Focus on what you can and what you know, but not vice versa, and stop comparing yourself to others.

Anyway, it’s a good idea to consult with a mental health professional and seek support from trusted individuals if your struggle is longstanding and you don’t feel confident in handling it alone.

Hope this will be helpful for you and your team and will let you focus on important things!