FLASH FICTION

Over Potato and Leek Soup

A place to rest, converse and ponder over starting again

Jess tapped her water canister, expecting to find a few more drops at the bottom. Shielding her eyes from the tangerine sun, she spotted a house near the end of her field of vision. Maybe it’s an illusion, but there’s only one way to find out. Stand up, dust off the ash, and continue. Pace yourself.

Itching her wrist where once a communicator was welded on, Jess wondered how traveling alone had made her more aware of herself.

You can hear yourself think and observe little thoughts and movements.

However, her choices didn’t look all good at this moment. Finding a safe shelter before nighttime was imperative. This was an uncharted area.

A cottage stood at the bottom of the path, next to a giant heap of rocks.

A sage green flag hung from the door, signaling that visitors were welcome. A welcome sight to a weary woman who was drowning in doubt over taking up an impossible journey. She could use a map right about now.

When Jess was young, taking a bath was a highly disliked activity.

Now, cold water touching her cracked skin was one of the few remaining good sensations. When you don’t know if your journey is going to lead somewhere, you hold on to the small pleasures.

Pruned fingers and skin shedding off.

A change of clothes later, Jess made her way into the central area, picking a seat beside the stove. The wood burnt just like before, making crackling noises and hissing steam as if nothing had changed.

There was coffee on the makeshift stove, which Jess helped herself to.

Hot and bitter, that’s good.

A cozy cottage under a hill with a hearth to keep you warm looked like a scene from a video game Jess played when she was ten. Today, she was on a real-life quest, but no distinct purpose existed.

Without direction or validation from her peers, she was left alone to figure things out. She chose this, but you never know how hard it will be.

You cannot — until you start.

Later that night, Jess met Astrid, the permanent dweller of this home. At first, they sat together in silence, peeling a bowl of potatoes and dicing leeks. Then Jess decided to start an idle conversation, as she didn’t know — after the following day when she would meet another life form.

“How old are you?”

“204, but I bet I look younger.”

“What are you? I don’t spot any insignia on your uniform.”

“I am a seeker.”

Three years ago, I chose to go rogue and find answers myself”.

Jess remembers it vividly like it was yesterday. Stripping off the signs, returning her gear, and breaking her communicator — she had to as it was custom-made, was the second most cathartic experience of her life.

Yan, her mentor, declared that she would be back soon.

No one survives out there on their own. You’ve got to make allegiances. What would you do for supplies? Relying on the kindness of strangers? That’s not going to end well. I don’t want to find your body hung at the gate.

“What did you do…before this, I mean?”

“I was a seeker, a soldier for the longest time, a cook, a cleaner, and much before that, I lived with my family on an army base camp.”

“Do you miss them?”

“No. There’s nothing to miss.”

Jess was barely forty and had always been asking questions. She stifled a yawn, wishing to continue the chat. Her body ached otherwise.

Her mind too barely lit up as thinking about the future, another role, or the destination was exhausting. All she wished to do was lie down.

A break would be excellent.

Astrid revealed how she regularly trades objects for money while stirring the potato and leek soup. She needs very little to begin with as she grows all her food in the basement. She found this abandoned abode five years ago, and apart from serial patches on the roof, it hasn’t asked anything of her.

Astrid found the solitude comforting, and occasional visitors brought the necessary amount of change. Stimulating conversations are rare, though.

“Don’t you get bored? I mean…don’t you miss the thrill?

“Well, it’s plenty exciting. Tomorrow I might be attacked or run out of objects to trade. My crops could be damaged by an aggressive pest, or I simply may not wake up. Even here, it’s very hard to predict the future.”

“But, doing nothing…is it worthwhile?”

“It is, and it isn’t. I’ve led many lives, and this one too comes with its share of challenges. I found some answers when I traveled, but most importantly, I learned to accept the fact that I may never find all of them.”

“This allowed me to settle down and name this place home.”

“Some peace — if you can call it that.”

Jess tossed and turned when she should have been sleeping. There was a bed, clean air, and warmth, things that reminded her of long-lost memories, the ones you can never fully be sure of.

Maybe she should stop for a few years.

Find a place to call home, or ask Astrid if there is room for two. She could find many ways to make herself useful.

This could be nice and comforting…

Exhaustion caught on, and she slowly faded away into a dream-filled sleep. Jess was voyaging again, this time with renewed purpose and less doubt. At the top of the mountain, there was a destination to make her way to. Some truths were hidden there. Answers…Yes, I’ll try again and again.

The next morning, Jess dressed and packed her belongings, her mind on auto-pilot. She knew there was no such thing and no chart to reach there.

The most challenging part about being a seeker was continuously trying without knowing if anything would be found. But this is all she’s ever wanted to do. It was her calling because she chose it.

It was harder to give up.

Astrid offered her some bread, canned goods, and berries she grew in the basement. Jess looked through some of the old belongings locked in the spare room. Maybe there could be something of use amongst them.

A map, a flashlight, or some ammunition.

“How did you know it was the right time to stop?”

“You know. I cannot describe your end to you, but one day you will find yourself content with your effort. The thought of stability or having indistinguishable days in a row won’t make you want to kill yourself.”

“You will want time with yourself to contemplate what you found.”

Slinging two full canisters on her back, Jess set out shortly, moving farther and farther from the cottage until she could no longer see it when she turned around. There was just the greyish haze enveloping this vast plain.

The light drizzle of ash reminded her of playing in the rain.

There’s no reason why she couldn’t enjoy this a bit. Being on the road is better than not trying at all. Jess needed to find out where we went wrong and the meaning of this existence. Maybe there’s beauty in the attempt.

And that’s okay.

If not, now she knows what to do if she wishes to settle down.