Origin of My Anxious Attachment Tendencies

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

1724

Abstract

cerebral palsy (CP). I ultimately received physical, occupational, speech and play therapies to strengthen my disability.</p><h2 id="9bf8">Toddler to Teenage Years:</h2><p id="460e">As I matured, my disability did not stop me from wanting to do things. However, my parents were concerned and anxious about me because of my limitation. I didn’t realize then but (even if it was for my own good) I was unable to freely explore and do things on my own very often, if at all. I was unable to problem solve much due to my parents being there to pick up the pieces.</p><p id="6d80">When I turned seven, I was then diagnosed with Type I juvenile diabetes. I realized what I needed to start doing in order to take care of myself properly. After the diagnosis however, again my parents were a bit over protective. At ages 11–15, I did not go over friend’s houses or weekend trips without my mother or father to chaperone and make sure things went smoothly with my health.</p><p id="6df4">It was not that much of an issue when I was young, but when I was a teenager, I wanted to do things without them, especially to learn and grow. I noticed the anxiety they felt as I continued to mature. I know that they did it to be the best parents they could be.</p><p id="e142">Through my maturing however, I learned that they were always there to respond (or perhaps react) to me. Always reiterating communication is imperative. Always “checking up” on me as a child. I was unable to express my feelings on the matter because I assumed what they were doing was correct”, therefore I would be “wrong.”</p><h2 id="004e">Adult Relationships:</h2><p id="1226">My first long-term romantic relationship lasted four years. Her and I had our disagre

Options

ements, but we communicated well and things were good for the first few years. As time went on though, I began to feel like I was trying to bridge two worlds together, my romantic relationship and my family. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, and when I was not doing so, I began feeling anxious.</p><p id="73c6">Of course there were other factors that resulted in our breakup, but a part of it was because of my anxious behaviors. I eventually became enmeshed with her way of life, I ended up losing who I was. I was not myself by the end of the relationship. I also believed I was not going to find someone else who loved me like she did. (A hit to my self-esteem.)</p><h2 id="8bbe">Five Years Single:</h2><p id="34c5">After that relationship, I decided to truly improve upon my tendencies and self-esteem/confidence. Realizing what I will and will not accept in a relationship, adjust my thought patterns when a young lady does not respond to me right away and choose to be mindful of my behaviors when anxiety decides to creep in.</p><p id="44a3">It is important to remember, a healthy relationship includes two individuals still living their lives, working on their passions and purpose. They do not become enmeshed and expect the other to stop following their dreams. Also, communication is still important, but not 24/7 on the phone or in person.</p><p id="9b12">It will still take more work on my end, but at least I am much more aware of my tendencies so that I can communicate my needs and improve my responses while in a healthy relationship. Anxiety does happen, but I can choose how to respond it.</p><p id="501f" type="7">Thank you for reading. Peace, Love and Happiness!</p></article></body>

Self-Reflection, Rewiring Neuropathways, And Choosing New Behaviors:

I realize that I have tendencies of someone with an anxious attachment regarding relationships. I have noticed the subtle changes in my thought patterns and bodily reactions as women stop responding to my messages or phone calls. The more I reflect and think about why I have these reactions, the more I have become aware of their possible genesis.

Stress Right Out Of The Gate:

Personally, I had a very difficult birth. According to my parents, I could have died due to the hypoxia (lack of oxygen) I experienced at the time of my delivery. My family was scared and uncertain of what was going to happen. Fortunately I compensated somehow and fought for my survival.

As I developed from infant to child, I was hitting almost all the expected milestones at the proper ages. The only difference that my parent’s noticed was physically, I was not utilizing both my hands as I explored my world. I was seen holding my right hand/arm tightly against my chest and only grabbing things with my left.

My parents enrolled me in a plethora of tests and therapies to address that situation. After several tests, it was determined I had a mild form of cerebral palsy (CP). I ultimately received physical, occupational, speech and play therapies to strengthen my disability.

Toddler to Teenage Years:

As I matured, my disability did not stop me from wanting to do things. However, my parents were concerned and anxious about me because of my limitation. I didn’t realize then but (even if it was for my own good) I was unable to freely explore and do things on my own very often, if at all. I was unable to problem solve much due to my parents being there to pick up the pieces.

When I turned seven, I was then diagnosed with Type I juvenile diabetes. I realized what I needed to start doing in order to take care of myself properly. After the diagnosis however, again my parents were a bit over protective. At ages 11–15, I did not go over friend’s houses or weekend trips without my mother or father to chaperone and make sure things went smoothly with my health.

It was not that much of an issue when I was young, but when I was a teenager, I wanted to do things without them, especially to learn and grow. I noticed the anxiety they felt as I continued to mature. I know that they did it to be the best parents they could be.

Through my maturing however, I learned that they were always there to respond (or perhaps react) to me. Always reiterating communication is imperative. Always “checking up” on me as a child. I was unable to express my feelings on the matter because I assumed what they were doing was correct”, therefore I would be “wrong.”

Adult Relationships:

My first long-term romantic relationship lasted four years. Her and I had our disagreements, but we communicated well and things were good for the first few years. As time went on though, I began to feel like I was trying to bridge two worlds together, my romantic relationship and my family. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, and when I was not doing so, I began feeling anxious.

Of course there were other factors that resulted in our breakup, but a part of it was because of my anxious behaviors. I eventually became enmeshed with her way of life, I ended up losing who I was. I was not myself by the end of the relationship. I also believed I was not going to find someone else who loved me like she did. (A hit to my self-esteem.)

Five Years Single:

After that relationship, I decided to truly improve upon my tendencies and self-esteem/confidence. Realizing what I will and will not accept in a relationship, adjust my thought patterns when a young lady does not respond to me right away and choose to be mindful of my behaviors when anxiety decides to creep in.

It is important to remember, a healthy relationship includes two individuals still living their lives, working on their passions and purpose. They do not become enmeshed and expect the other to stop following their dreams. Also, communication is still important, but not 24/7 on the phone or in person.

It will still take more work on my end, but at least I am much more aware of my tendencies so that I can communicate my needs and improve my responses while in a healthy relationship. Anxiety does happen, but I can choose how to respond it.

Thank you for reading. Peace, Love and Happiness!