DEMYSTIFYING LOVE AND SEX
Ordinary Woman Is a Higher Type of Human Than the Perfect Man
For a man, Sex is all about the body. It is not so for a woman.
In the 4.2 billion year-long histories of humanity, man has always called the woman “Something Mysterious”. The premise of almost all couple jokes is the rhetorical question — “Has anyone ever understood the mystery that a woman is?”. Actually, someone did.
“The spirit of the valley dies not, but remains the same;
Thus we name it the mysterious female.
Its gate is called the root from which grew heaven and earth.
Long and unbroken does its power remain.
Used gently, it will never be exhausted.”
— Lao Tzu
The great Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu says “The valley spirit is the mysterious female”. Yes, he is right. Peaks are born and destroyed. Valley remains the same. It is ever-present.
Valley is like the darkness. It can neither be created nor be destroyed. A candle never destroys the darkness. We just cannot see it while the candle burns. But as soon as the candle dies, we can see the darkness as intact as ever.
Absence cannot be destroyed. Only presence can be destroyed. Darkness is absence. Light is presence.
The depth of the valley — the darkness it caries, the magnificence that pervades its vast stretches, the heiress of the lull that is immensely profound for a person to bear — is apt to describe a woman.
So what does this valley signifies? What does it tell about the mystery of a woman?
The Mystery of a Woman
“Passivity” is the mystery of a woman. “The art of Inaction” defines all women in and out. Since there is no action, nothing to see in passivity, no one claimed to decode this mystery. Let me explain this with the example of love.
When a woman falls in love with a man, her course of action to win that love is completely opposite to that of a man. Man believes in action. He is aggressive by nature.
He’ll spend a huge amount of money to buy expensive presents for her. He’ll say beautiful words to her. He will stare into her eyes to show his love for her. He will try every tactic in the book to win her over.
He will jump through hoops if it means he can prove his love for her. He’ll even resort to lying to woo a woman. He doesn’t even realize that doing things to woo a woman only makes him want her more. This is called the Ben Franklin effect. It’s all up to her if she’ll open the doors to her mysterious valley for him. Otherwise, a man can bring the moon to her and that won’t make her heart thump even once.
However, if a woman falls in love with a man, she chooses the most powerful tool in the world to attract him — passivity. She believes in inaction. She notices everything a man does, still; she has the immense patience to stop herself from doing anything that can give the man a clue that she is interested in him.
That’s why her way of attracting a male is a thousand times more powerful than whatever a man does. “Inaction” supersedes every action in the world. But Why inaction attracts us so much than the action itself?
She Waits Even in Love
Ever wondered why you are so tempted to buy a piece of cloth when the shop owner refuses to decrease the price? The more he refuses, the more you haggle. And the more likely you are to give in to his demands.
According to Newton’s third law of action, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. The one who acts feels complete only after he receives the reaction in return. That’s why you feel so uneasy if someone reads your message on WhatsApp, but does not reply to it.
The same happens in the case of a woman. You do some action to woo her, but she remains passive. Then the uneasiness makes you do even more to receive some reaction from her. Still, she chooses the course of inaction. And again you are pulled towards her.
Her way is more powerful because she waits even in love. Such patience can only be found in a woman. She can remain passive for years. Man can never wait to make the first move when he falls in love. He knows nothing about patience.
However, a woman is the heiress of immense patience. She allows men to make the first move. Hardly ever you’ll find a woman making the first move. If she does, she either has lost the real women inside her or has been primed otherwise by society. Seems like you do not agree with me? Tell me, How many of your friends have “hi” in their inbox from countless women? None, I guess.
A woman can wait for years for her love. That wait won’t kill her. The man knows nothing about waiting. He grows restless while waiting. You must have seen this uneasiness when a woman gets ready and a man has to wait for her. Man wants everything instant. Instant coffee. Instant loan. Instant approval. Instant sex.
“The man invented institution of marriage because instant sex is not possible without it” — Osho
Not all things in this world are available instantaneously. For example, one can have instant sex in marriage, but for the birth of a child, one has to wait. Nature gave the ability to give birth only to a woman because it requires keeping a baby in the womb and patiently waiting for 9 months. Man doesn’t have such patience.
When a man falls in love, you can see him fluttering like a hungry infant. He tries everything in his capacity to make her say ‘Yes’ the very first day he starts having feelings for her. As days pass, the impatience grows. And with it grows the desperation to win her.
But a woman is patient in a similar situation. She might talk to her friends about the feelings she has for a guy, but she will never let it on. She won’t make the first move.
Were a man a possessor of such patience, there would have been less violence in the world.
Real God is feminine
If God exists somewhere, he is feminine. Because a man neither has the patience nor the ability to give birth to such a vast universe.
“If someone is giving birth to stars, moon and the whole universe, that someone must have a womb” — Osho
All people who have attained enlightenment have achieved so by being immensely passive. Ancient yogis used to do Sadhna to achieve enlightenment. Sadhna is a Sanskrit word — made from the root word “Sadh” meaning to hold in one position — which literally means “methodical discipline to attain desired knowledge or goal”. Thus, the only way to understand higher consciousness, God, or the Ultimate truth is to become womanly i.e. serene and passive.
Nietzsche calls ‘Buddha’ and ‘Christ’ feminine. He is right because the impatient male mind can never attain enlightenment. Only a woman is the possessor of such patience, which is required to get to the ultimate truth.
Woman’s Mind while making Love
The male mind, says Osho, is interested in seeing a woman without clothes-he is a voyeur. Only men make all demands for nudes in the world of social media and instant chat. The woman is not interested in seeing a naked man. However, a man is deeply interested in the nude body of a woman. The porn industry would not have been so profitable were men interested in seeing women fully clothed.
While making love, it is the man who wants to disrobe his woman. It is not so with the woman. And for a male mind, the attractiveness of a woman fades away the moment he sees her without clothes. After that, all women in the world except the one he saw naked seem attractive. Still, he chooses to disrobe the woman he makes love with and will continue to do so.
While kissing her lover, a woman always shuts her eyes. During intimate moments a man might keep his eyes open, but the woman always keeps hers closed. She is not interested in seeing. She is interested in absorbing her lover, in being one with him.
Woman’s Mind during Sex
For a woman, sex is not about the body. It’s about the mind.
For a woman, sex is not about the body. It’s about the mind. It’s about the body for man. One of the biggest reasons for breakups is that man seeks only physical intimacy while a woman requires emotional intimacy as well. That’s why her mind is passive in sex.
A man’s mind is active. He seeks actively while a woman receives passively. The sexual energy of a man is ever active. That’s the only reason our world is full of rapists. Even without my mentioning gender, you associated the word rapist with a man, didn’t you? Yes, because only a man can rape. A woman will never rape. Even if you find a case of a woman doing so, that woman has to be totally masculine by nature.
Society and Man:
What a man does to a woman and the way he treats her knowingly or unknowingly is equivalent to rape only. In my opinion, rape is not always physical. Any forceful activity or the needless anger to have one’s way is all pseudo-rape.
In arranged marriages, when a man wants to make love to his wife, he neither cares nor is aware of her will. He never considers whether or not she also wants to make love. Then whatever happens in the name of love-making is nothing short of rape.
A woman is quiet by nature. Inaction is her very nature and sadly, this quietness is taken for Yes by almost every married man. She also thinks, by the contract of marriage, she is obligated to please him. However, she herself is rarely pleased. You’ll hardly find a woman in backward societies who knows about orgasm let alone reach it during lovemaking.
Have you ever thought about why prostitution is largely an all-woman profession, but Goons are mostly men?
Man is aggressive. Aggression requires force. When force is applied, energy is lost. Simple grade 5 physics. That’s why a man gets tired quickly during sex, but a woman does not. That’s the reason prostitution is largely an all-woman profession.
Similarly, a man gets aroused quickly because his sexual energy is always active. But a woman takes time to get both turned on and turned off. This is the reason any woman is more interested in foreplay and cuddling while a man mostly in coitus.
A woman is more powerful than a man
“Nature gives the ability to give birth only to the one who is powerful” — Osho
Women live longer than men on average. They fall less sick compared to a man. They are more resistant to infections than men. Research shows the mortality rate because of COVID-19 is also higher for men.
Any kind of societal illness woman suffers from today is because man has built a culture of suppression. Man dominates and woman adjusts and this precisely is the cause of her illness. Forget about treating her properly, men are far from even understanding women correctly. The gap in understanding is even wider in countries where societies are plagued by outdated ideas.
If men were made to live in such restriction as the woman has lived for centuries, the entire race of man would have been wiped off the face of the earth a long time ago. They would have gone mad. It’s the resistance power of a woman that prevents her from going insane under such restrictions. All the bickering and jealousy we find in a woman is the by-product of suppression. It happens only because society doesn’t let her be whatever she is truly born for.
A man is not that strong. Physically, he might be. But internally, he can never become as strong as a woman. This is the rule of nature. This is not something to look down upon man. A woman is more powerful than a man could ever be because nature gives the ability to give birth only to the one who is powerful. The mother is the most powerful. She can even fight a lion to protect her child.
The highest place on earth is of mother
That’s why whoever understood this mystery in the east gave the highest place on the earth to the role of mother — not to the wife or to the lover.
“The peak experience of a woman is being a mother”
Although, men always want it to be otherwise because his peak experience is in being a lover or husband, not in being a father. Every man goes through the feeling of lovelessness after becoming a father because the woman directs all her love towards her child after becoming a mother.
Father is relatively a new word. Mother is ancient. You can always spot a mother among dogs and birds, but spotting a father is difficult.
Real woman are rarely found
When I say something is the quality of a woman, I talk about a woman who is real feminine by nature. You might find the above qualities of passiveness and patience in scores of men too. This only means he is more feminine than an average man. He is closer to enlightenment than any other man or woman. He has entered the gates to the mysterious valley.
Lao Tzu calls it “Feminine mystery”, not a womanly mystery for a reason. He says so because it is possible that a woman lives her entire life without ever discovering this mystery, but a man attains to this mystery in a few years. We have seen scores of man in history who have entered the gates of this mystery- Buddha, Mahavira, Christ, Krishna. Lao Tzu doesn’t call this masculine mystery either, because it is so passive that most of us don’t even know it exists.
Final Takeaway: Real Woman
“The perfect woman is a higher type of human than the perfect man, and also something much more rare”- Friedrich Nietzsche
Real women (strong, patient, and heiress of serenity) have been lost to cultural priming. Nowadays we only find Pseudo women who are far from understanding the mystery that she is. Jealousy, violence, and anger are their weaponry now.
A real woman doesn’t need any weapon to have her way. She doesn’t need to make any kind of noise to make her presence known. It has always been the man who gets down to these shallow tricks to show that he matters.
However, we now see women resorting to all these tricks in our society. She checks her man’s phone for chats. She keeps an eye on his social media accounts. She gets jealous. She gets angry. These all are a sign of insecurities that were earlier limited to a man. Man is born insecure. But now, we rarely find a woman who is not plagued by such insecurities.
This also has happened only because of men. It is the by-product of centuries of patriarchy and suppression. Man has made her this way. Your father and brother made her this way that today, men complain about her fake love. Yes, the women of this century have forgotten how to love. That’s why true love is rarely found in our society. All we find are two people using each other’s bodies to have sex and escape.
But that’s all on men. This society made her like this. Only when a girl is not dominated or suppressed from early childhood, can she blossom into an all-powerful woman when the right time comes. And only such a woman can lift a man too to a higher plane of true love.
“Let her out of the cage, Untie her wings and she’ll fly to the heights you couldn‘t even imagine” -Shikhar
Nietzsche says that the perfect woman is a higher type of human than the perfect man. I’ll go even further and say, if she is real, then even an ordinary woman is a higher type of human than the perfect man.
Did you enjoy reading? If yes, You might also like the ever deeper version of the article below.
https://shikharchaudhary.com/2021/03/20/woman-and-her-mind-in-love-and-sex/
