Orange is the New White?

He invited me over to see his masterpiece. This may be a bad paint day…..Even bright for my cat who has 2 eyelids on each eye.

#57 Real Estate Man

In Real Estate Man’s leases there’s a clause that stipulates the apartment that turns over be freshly painted upon request of the new tenant.The clause goes on to state that the expense of the painting will be borne by Real Estate Man. The apartment will be fully painted in Sherwin Williams Bone White , a neutral, inexpensive color.

The unique part of Real Estate Man’s leases states: if the tenant to take occupancy is willing to paint the place, he/she can paint it any color they choose. Real Estate Man pays for the paint. After all, the new tenant painter will be the one living in the apartment for at least a year. The understanding is that at the end of the lease it’s painted back to Sherwin Williams Bone White, the only color choice permissible under the lease. The one caveat being: if the incoming tenant likes the color that prior tenant has painted the apartment, no matter what the color is, the apartment does NOT have to be repainted by the departing occupant.

Real Estate Man’s Story:

I had shown #15, 311 South 20th to a number of prospects. There was a fellow who said he was an interior decorator working at Macy’s who seemed to want to claim it. Imagine that, an interior decorator wanting one of my apartments. He called me shortly after his appointment and put in his offer to rent it. He said that one of the reasons he wanted to deal with me is the lease clause that the tenant be allowed to pick out the colors and paint his apartment himself.The summer rush was on and most of the crews I employed to paint apartments were busy.

All and all, it was a good deal for me.

After checking with human relations at Macy’s to verify the prospective tenant’s employment as an interior decorator and a few other perfunctory suitability phone calls, I rented to him. As per the lease I also furnished my account number at Sherwin Williams and invited him to have at it with the paint. What the fuck! He’s an interior decorator. He ought to know what he’s doing.

A month into his lease, all seemed fine.

Until:

I got my monthly bill from Sherwin Williams. The cost of the paint for #15 311 S. 20th was $748.98— for a small 1 bedroom? It would have cost me a flat $400, paint included, to hire a legitimate painting contractor.

He invited me over to see his masterpiece. This may be a bad paint day, indeed.

The word I would use to describe my reaction is ‘SHOCK!’ The living room was a bright orange with a ceiling boarder of green ivy (like the ivy that grows on schools) every leaf — hand painted. The kitchen was a light purple (no ivy) as was the bathroom. The bedroom was back to orange with green ivy.

I was calculating in my mind the amount of Sherwin Williams Bone White and primer to cover the conflagration of color when the decorator moved. Was he use to living in a kaleidoscope? I don’t think my eyelids are thick enough to cover that orange so I could sleep in that place. Even bright for my cat, who has 2 eyelids on each eye.

Remind me to get any decorating advice I may need in the future from IKEA.

Epilogue:

The decorator lived in his garishly colored apartment for 3 years and finally moved on. He turned out to be ideal tenant.

By request of the incoming tenants, it remained orange and purple with green ivy as a ceiling boarder for the next 8 yearly leasing cycles saving me a possible $3200.00

The walls never showed the dirt and looked great with everyone’s used furniture and pictures they got from grandma.