When Your Mind Is Aligned With The Reality of Your Best Life

How to stop resisting and start making life works in the best way

There are times when life clearly shows that you are here at this moment to do something, but you want to be another thing instead.

You want to succeed, to be financially independent, to have the freedom to pursue your passion — and you want it all quickly, right now, at this moment. You have all your plans laid out, but then life says “not yet” or maybe even “not in this life”.

So you tell the universe that you are not budging from your position until you get what you deserve. But the universe stands its ground too — you will get nothing, not until you learn to stop being so stubborn.

This dissonant is why we feel like something is missing from our life.

During this time, the wrong things and people come to our life when we expect something else to come instead. We also keep missing out on opportunities because they keep coming at the wrong time and place.

If you have difficulty keeping up with the pace of the day, it can also be a sign that your mind is in conflict with your reality —you have difficulty jump-starting your motivation to work in the morning and you only start to get motivated at night, so you sleep at dawn and only waking up late at noon while also missing out the most productive hours of the day.

When these happen, our inner frequency is at the opposite of the universe’s natural frequency. The universe says ‘go!’ when we are about to say ‘pause!’. And if you remember the concept of wave interference at high school, two waves with two opposite frequencies cancel each other out — by resisting, we basically get nothing, just regrets, and missed opportunities.

To align with the universe’s intention, sometimes it is as easy as accepting that success comes slower to you more than for others. Or to accept that in a certain aspect of life, this is the limit of what you can have. In most cases, it also means you will have more in another aspect of life although it might not be what you want out of life.

Whatever you have in your reality right now, you just have to accept the limitations that you get in one aspect to see the abundance that you have in the other.

You can not ask for more or otherwise, you have crossed the boundary. Nothing good out of being greedy, we either create disappointment for ourselves, or we will end up taking what belongs to someone else.

When You Accept The Natural Order of Things, You Will Be at Peace

Stoic philosopher Chrysippus stated that humans’ fate is co-created by humans' decisions. Stoicism believes that things happen because preceding events allow them to happen — all the necessary requirements for the effect have been fulfilled for the effect to take place. It initially led to the belief that there is no point for humans to participate in life as everything is predetermined — before Chrysippus confirmed that humans’ actions and decisions are also part of the necessary preceding events that cause how future events will unroll.

In short, if something happens in your life, it happens partially because you make the right (or wrong) decision in the past, but also because something outside of your control allows it to happen.

It basically divides the cause of your future into three elements: the controllable part, the non-negotiable part, and the relationship between the two previous parts and whether they are in alignment or not.

And the hardest part is always to come to terms with this part of life that is non-negotiable.

We have our own thoughts and will — to just follow someone else’s idea for our life is against our nature.

But as we go through life, we will repeatedly experience that the biggest learning moments happen if we lower our ego enough to entertain an idea that was initially not a part of our plan.

We will resist it, rebel against it. But we eventually find a way to reconcile our needs with what the universe has planned for our life.

Each of us has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses — in certain aspects, acceptance comes easy while in some other areas of life, it takes a lifetime to accept it.

For example, maybe you have difficulty adjusting your career ambition to a slower pace where the reality happens. In that aspect, reconciling your desire for career success will be a more difficult learning process. But, maybe you have more luck in reconciling your inner identity with what the society expects out of you — maybe you are blessed with a great confidence that allows you to filter social contracts that no longer serve your core values, and in that sense, you have successfully balanced your inner and outer values.

Your strength in one area can help you in another area that you are struggling with.

Recall back to a life aspect that you have the most difficulty reconciling with reality.

And then recall another life aspect that you have so successfully and brilliantly reconcile with reality.

Whenever you have successfully aligned your mind with your circumstances, recognize the feeling of peace for finding the middle ground — the part where you can make an informed decision that works well both for what the society expects but also with the limit of what you are comfortable with.

It takes many life experiences to find and accept that middle ground, but just like how you have successfully aligned yourself so many times in the past, it can happen too with whatever life aspect you are struggling with right now.

Accepting Reality While Also Embracing Conflicts

This all goes without forgetting that adversity and conflicts help you to grow.

On one hand, you need to accept your reality because otherwise, you don’t really engage in the present moment with all the potential within it.

On the other hand, adversity allows you to grow — conflict pushes you to ask ‘what is possible’.

Accepting reality does not mean suppressing conflicts and adversity.

To grow is to harness the peace that comes from one mindset, while also harnessing the potential that comes from the other mindset — to hold two seemingly opposite ideas so you can find the most satisfactory answer.

We thread the present moment by putting one foot on the ground while also pushing the other foot to take the next step that will bring us forward — to survive and thrive in every step we take. So whatever life phase you are experiencing right now will not be a stationary one.