Opening the Mind — Some More

Through Connection & Curiosity

In this article, I would like to offer some more practices in opening the mind with an emphasis on how connections are critical in opening up.

Openness occurs best in the context of others and in feeling connected. You never know what opportunities will be presented and from what direction they will arise. In his writing, Shawn Achor discusses how collective intelligence increases when we can share our positive reality with others and thereby increasing our own capacity and success. Stephen Gilligan refers to something similar in his discussion of “generative intelligence.” Generative intelligence describes the experience in which the collective sum of resources and capacity that occurs when people connect or feel connected is greater than the sum of their parts. Through connections, we open to resources larger than just our own.

Compassion

Another way to feel a connection and open yourself is to practice compassion. Compassion-based practices have been shown to shift neurological activity away from the parts of the brain that focus on the self and increase neural activity in parts involved in understanding others and regulating emotions. For example, researchers have found that practicing loving-kindness meditation increased activity in the inferior parietal cortex which is associated with empathy. Concurrently, there was an increase in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex which is involved in positive emotions and regulating emotionally difficult experiences. Noted psychiatrist Dan Seigel has concluded that compassion helps promote brain integration increasing our internal resources and our capacity to live effectively in the world.

TRY THIS: Compassion Meditation Practice

1. Take your awareness in your heart, sensing what emotions are present

2. Cultivating love and appreciation for yourself (Repeat: “may I be well, may I be happy, may I be free of suffering”)

3. Suffering person: for example, compassion for the victim(s) of abuse (Repeat: “may they be well, may they be happy, may they be free of suffering”)

4. Neutral person: someone you do not know (e.g., an ordinary Afghani who is experiencing fear and deprivation due to conflict) (Repeat: “may they be well, may they be happy, may they be free of suffering”)

5. Difficult person: call to mind a person you are having difficulty with or a group in general. We may despise the actions that they have committed. Yet we can still recognize that this person (or persons) suffers. Their frustration and anger and their fear are painful to them, and are the cause of pain for others. We can wish this person well, wishing that the hatred in his or her heart be healed by love. (Repeat: “May they be well, may they be happy, may they be free from suffering”.)

6. All sentient beings (Repeat: “May all sentient beings be well, may all sentient beings be happy, may all sentient beings be free from suffering”.)

7. Let go of act of wishing others well — Relax back into awareness of yourself

8. Spend a few minutes absorbing the practice

· Note: Be gentle and persistent: bringing your awareness back to your heart with patience and kindness.

Curiosity

We can also open by cultivating curiosity. Think about the boundless curiosity of children that manifests in the form of endless questions. One study suggests that four-year-old children ask a question about every 2 minutes. Questions are essential for learning and development.

In his examination of innovation, journalist Warren Berger concluded that the skill of asking questions is essential for creativity and a catalyst for innovative change. In his book, A More Beautiful Question, he argues that innovators focus on questions that can be acted upon. This contrasts with what I refer to as quicksand or blackhole questions that keep you stuck. As noted in chapter one, questions that focus on changing the past are not useful. Nor are questions that make us feel powerless (e.g., why did this happen to me?).

Beautiful questions, on the other hand, open our focus and invite us to search for new possibilities and inspire action (e.g., “why does it have to be this way?” “How can it be different?”). Berger describes numerous innovators and change-makers who made an impact by starting with a question. For example, he describes how Reed Hastings started Netflix by first asking, “Why should I pay these late fees?’ and then, “What if video rental was run like a health club?”

Berger emphasizes the why, what if, and how questions. I would like to suggest that the who question is equally important. First, in terms of, “If not you then whom?” In other words, you too can take responsibility to make this change/innovation happen. Who, is also important in activating collective intelligence and to recognize that success does not occur in isolation but through support and community. Who is your community of care and support? Who can you connect with to find the resources and guidance you will need?

TRY THIS:

Beautiful Questions OPEN: · Brainstorm only with questions · Why questions: Why does a particular situation exist? Why has no one addressed this? Why do I want to invest time on this?

EXPLORE POSSIBILITIES: ·What if questions: what if we focused on what is working? What if I saw this issue from a new perspective?

ACTION ORIENTATION · How questions: How do I make this happen? How do I test this idea? How do I keep motivated? · Who will support me? · Who has knowledge that would be helpful?

Perspective

Lastly, the opening is facilitated by training our capacity to see multiple viewpoints. Take some time each week to practice increasing your perspectives. Shawn Achor has suggested another practice that is useful in this regard. He asks people to pick any task and identify both positive and negative aspects of the experience. The task can be as simple as washing the dishes. For example, negative aspects of washing dishes might be: it’s boring; I could be doing something more productive, and so on. Positive aspects can include: there is a sense of accomplishment, I am promoting the health of all family members by keeping things clean; I can listen to my favorite music while I wash, and so on. Practice with different tasks. Can you think of positive views of these tasks as well as negative views? Can you get 3 positives to every negative aspect?

This is a follow up to:

and part of my CORE psychology framework